KittenMoon Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 I talked about my recent break-up here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t83073/ Right now I am debating whether to try to get my bf back. I feel like he is my soulmate. At the same time, I feel strongly we need some time apart. What I am afraid of is him getting with other girls while we are apart, since probably our largest problems stems from the fact that we are each other's first love. Right now the thought of being with another guy makes me cringe, and thinking of him with another girl makes me physically ill. We've talked about the desire to see other people, because we never have really, but I think for both of us it comes down to a desire for more sexual variety. There's been a lot of "it's over.... for now" sentiment. I feel torn on this, because I don't just want us to be just what we come back to when the wild oats are done being sown. (Though at the same time it feels weird to consider never experiencing another lover) Since the break-up, I have thought a lot about marriage and the like. He has said many times he wanted to marry me. I always told him I didn't want to get married, although I can see us spending our lives together. He is a workaholic, which I have been less than supportive of, all though I turned that around quite a bit in the past few months. In fact, our break-up coincided exactly with the fall-through of a deal where he would have been part owner of the business he works at now, which I feel left him feeling a bit like a failure. Right now, I feel like I would want to marry him, support his drive to suceed, move to wherever he finds a new job (in the process right now cause his work sucks) and all the rest, if only he would communicate more deeply with me and not put up a wall between us. (He's very bad connecting emotionally with people) But honestly, maybe he doesn't even love me anymore. So I am trying to decide whether to tell him about these feelings, to give us a chance at some time apart, maybe a few months, to see if I retain this and if his longing to be with me returns with the space. At which point I would say, lets do a little councilling and then in a year decide if its the long haul, or not. But I guess I am scared he'll say he just doesn't love me anymore and there's no way he would try this. Or that he will get mad that I am talking to him even after I insisted on NC for a while. I don't want to spook him off, because I really think he's very confused about his life, not just me, right now. Does this sound insane? Should I just let the space between us exist and leaves things to fate? I feel so torn...
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