Mydish1 Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 Sorry just venting...but im pissed. met this girl a few months ago, we hit it off pretty well and agreed to be fwb...but we were more like borderline couples. Anyway since V-day nothing has been the same, we've been growing more distant and havent seen each other since. Last week her cousins were in town and she wasnt able to, but suggested next week (that we even watch a movie). her cousins left, and over the weekend i caught up with her, since she was mostly busy with the cousins. Well, she gave 3 days out of the week she was available for me to choose. I chose a day and said i'd call her the day before or she would call me. Then the next day she ends up texting me with some BS excuse for canceling the date about being busy and might be able to meet up in a few weeks. Her **** test/game began last week. i called her last week, left a VM. she called me back 3 hrs later, with one ring and hung up. obviously to see how eager i was to call back. The last word i got from her is she prefers not to hangout these 2 weeks cause she has a lot going on. Honestly i could care less about the crap she's feeing me. Obviously from the start there was no friendship to begin with and she's disrespecting me like this and in the start i was cool about this, but all these thoughts running through my head is now turning into anger. I miss her and at the same time realizing how selfish/disrespectful she is makes my blood boil. I always told her if she wanted to talk im always around, and vice versa. Our communication was great in the beginning, now we're just strangers. The last couple times i spoke to her i even asked if everything is cool between us cause i sensed the distance. But still she keeps saying everythin'gs ok Obviously she's getting a power trip by disrespecting me. And i know blowing up at her is only going to feed her. ALL I WANT IS AN ANSWER TO THE REASON FOR ALL OF THIS, even if it's my doing i want closure!! But even she'll deny me of it because of the type of person she is. I can pester her and dig for the ugly truth, but i know she'll pretend nothing's wrong just to make me look the fool...as she has already succeeded in doing. I WANT TO FIX WHAT'S BROKEN! Calling her is only going to feed her. NC is just going to drive me nuts. I try not to think about this during the day, but eventually it always pops into my head occasionally and ruins my often optimistic vibe. What extremely pisses me off is she made a date she knew she was going to break!...just to feed herself. I have a feeling she's secretly angry/resenting me over something i did/didnt do, and want to damn well know what it is. What do i do?!?
LawGirl Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 met this girl a few months ago, we hit it off pretty well and agreed to be fwb...but we were more like borderline couples. Anyway since V-day nothing has been the same, we've been growing more distant and havent seen each other since. The last word i got from her is she prefers not to hangout these 2 weeks cause she has a lot going on. Obviously from the start there was no friendship to begin with and she's disrespecting me like this I always told her if she wanted to talk im always around, and vice versa. Our communication was great in the beginning, now we're just strangers. The last couple times i spoke to her i even asked if everything is cool between us cause i sensed the distance. But still she keeps saying everythin'gs ok ALL I WANT IS AN ANSWER TO THE REASON FOR ALL OF THIS, even if it's my doing i want closure!! Calling her is only going to feed her. NC is just going to drive me nuts. I try not to think about this during the day, but eventually it always pops into my head ....she made a date she knew she was going to break!...just to feed herself. What do i do?!? Well Mydish1 - you wrote my story as above...substitute the she with he and the two weeks for a month and a half and there I am. Pretty much word for word. And damn, I too want closure. I think I deserve closure (as you do to).. but I know I am not going to get it. And I think I have learned to live with it. More or less. The closest thing I got from him (on Friday) was "I still don't know what I want". Well he knows what he doesn't want and that is any type of relationship with me. What I think you are feeling are various stages of grief and loss. And one of them is anger. I have felt the range from despair, anger, fear, hopelessness, sadness, etc. and back again - in no particular order. But you simply can't let thoughts of this one person control you that way. Is she the only person on earth who could make you happy? Were you happy during the relationship? Do you think you could find happiness with someone else? (I think you could). What would revenge get you? A momentary sense of justice? Would you be better to put your thoughts and energies into getting over her. Getting to be fine on your own, and getting yourself ready for the next relationship? That is what I am trying to do every day. And for the most part things are improving. I do have lapses (such as this morning when I cried when I thought of him). But I do know that even if another relationship isn't in the near future, living alone (and missing him) is a far better feeling than the roller coaster ride of that relationship and ALWAYS feeling insecure. Best of luck.
Author Mydish1 Posted March 2, 2006 Author Posted March 2, 2006 Well Mydish1 - you wrote my story as above...substitute the she with he and the two weeks for a month and a half and there I am. Pretty much word for word. And damn, I too want closure. I think I deserve closure (as you do to).. but I know I am not going to get it. And I think I have learned to live with it. More or less. The closest thing I got from him (on Friday) was "I still don't know what I want". Well he knows what he doesn't want and that is any type of relationship with me. What I think you are feeling are various stages of grief and loss. And one of them is anger. I have felt the range from despair, anger, fear, hopelessness, sadness, etc. and back again - in no particular order. But you simply can't let thoughts of this one person control you that way. Is she the only person on earth who could make you happy? Were you happy during the relationship? Do you think you could find happiness with someone else? (I think you could). What would revenge get you? A momentary sense of justice? Would you be better to put your thoughts and energies into getting over her. Getting to be fine on your own, and getting yourself ready for the next relationship? That is what I am trying to do every day. And for the most part things are improving. I do have lapses (such as this morning when I cried when I thought of him). But I do know that even if another relationship isn't in the near future, living alone (and missing him) is a far better feeling than the roller coaster ride of that relationship and ALWAYS feeling insecure. Best of luck. thanks for the detailed response. Glad to know someone understands what im going through. you just summed up my feelings, stages of grief and loss... Truth is i was happy in the relationship, but perhaps since v-day and onward i was little distant and perhaps it made her feel the same bitterness towards me that im feeling at her now...perhaps making me taste my own medicine (her revenge on me). But i have never gone so far to disrespect her like this as she did me. I think i could be happy with someone else. But what we had was special, no one could come close to have what similarities we shared in common. And i hate knowing the fact that losing "what we had" or her could have such an effect on me, which i always thought could never happen. I dont want revenge. like u, i just want closure....Honestly i would feel much more at ease if she would yell at me than keep all her (angry) thoughts inside. Like you i try my best to focus on my responsibilities and moving on, all i really need is time to forget. But i hate the idea of giving up something, that may have a potential to be fixed. Well since the last times i asked if everything was ok it was kind of rushed. Im going to text one last time if i still have her trust and friendship. if she doesnt respond, then ill move on. We're both mature adults here, it aggravates me that its hard for her to openly talk about unresolved issues/wants/needs.
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