Brittanyjean06 Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 I have this guy friend, who has a girlfriend of 8 months, He is deeply in love with her, It's not that i like him at all....but I just talked to him online.. and he was asking , well personal questions..like what bra i wear, would i do anything with him if he didn't have a girlfriend.. He has a right to how he feels, I don't care about that...but if you are in love with a girl...and another hot girl comes along...why are guys more willing to cheat???...Is love not enough?? I had my suspicions on my previous relationship, and It's just soo hard to trust any guy..even if they are in love with you?...is this where morals come in?? are there guys out there, that have morals?? A guy who ridiocullsly gave me his myspace link, has a girlfriend as well...so i heard. It just comes down to, are all guys such pigs??? Even another person i was" involved " with...had a girlfriend, but they were fighting...but he took the opportunity to " hook up with me"...do guys not feel about about things?? It's just weird
Walk Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 In my experience, if the guy is happy at home, then he isn't out there "looking" for others. And I hate to place the blame on my own gender, but it seems like I run into too many women who have a list a mile long of things they absolutely will not do for their man. Always involving sex. Yet most men want the variety and spice. I think it kind of damages their manhood to have their gf look at them horrified when they've asked for something different, so they attempt to reaffirm their manhood by flirting with a hot girl. (or having sex with her) I might be totally off base on that though.... so take it with a grain of salt. Or a bucket of it. I've steered clear of any guy who is dating another woman. If they can't respect the one they are with enough to do what is right, then they won't respect me either if someone else catches their fancy later. And so far (knock on wood) I haven't had a guy cheat on me, or even have inappropriate relations with another girl.
bluechocolate Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 I hate these blanket generalisations. All men are not cheaters, but some women sure do know how to pick 'em! At one time you chose to "involve" yourself with a guy who had a girlfriend & then you say "he took the opportunity to hook up with me". You should never have given him that opportunity in the first place. The fact that you did means that you were complicit in his behaviour. One survey I read recently said that 50% of married men will cheat & 40% of married women will also. By your logic I would have to assume that pretty much all women are cheaters too. Putting cheating aside, the romantic notion that "love is enough" is the stuff of fairy tales.
ashley83 Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 I certainly think love should be enough! I know love is enough for me to not cheat and I would do anything sexually for my man if I'm in love with him. I think love should move you to work issues out with your bf/gf, but it's worth it. Of course, who am I to talk. I was raised in the south with good morals. So others might have a different perspective.
jerbear Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 For a guy like me, love is not enough; to hold my interests. Both of us have to have some spice and being open. gotta try new things and be a couple yet individuals. Just an example is that she would be financially independent enough that if I was to go poof as in get hit by a bus; she could continue living her life. Now trust is another issue, I want to come home to her; it would be hard to find her home with another guy. So love is not enough, at least for this guy.
TUDOR Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 Both women and men cheat, men are just stupid enough to get caught doing it. But not all cheat but I uderstand your current distaste in the subject matter can lead to very broad strokes. I can be both highly cynical yet romantic. While I think love means different things to different folks in the end love is a choice. You can feel it, you can express it, you might even think you have no control over it but at some point you have to choose to acknowledge it and want it. People can fall out of love just as easy as they do in love. If one person in the relationship assumes love is a given and stops trying then that leads to wondering eyes and ultimately failed relationships. Love alone is never enough, love is simply the fuel that drives you to do all things that do make a relationship work and to endur the ups and downs.
bluechocolate Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 Of course, who am I to talk. I was raised in the south with good morals. So others might have a different perspective. too funny! Love alone is never enough, love is simply the fuel that drives you to do all things that do make a relationship work and to endure the ups and downs. Exactly. A committed relationship doesn't stay the distance just because two people are in love.
kitten chick Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 The more you get hit on by men with girlfriends and wives Brittanyjean the less it will bother you. It happens to me constantly. At some point you get desensitized to it and realize it's the norm, not the exception.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted March 2, 2006 Author Posted March 2, 2006 Im really not blaming this on guys, im just saying guys who do that? are they the bad ones...or their girlfriends are? Moth men and women do cheat.. But when your with a person, you shoulden't be asking someone else questions about sex or like" would you hook up with me , if i didn't have a girlfriend"... Is it just men, or the type of person that, that person is? I think maybe it is a " type of person" not just men, I just don't want to get involved with someone , later on...to find out he is flirting behind my back..and knows i would get extremely mad. So it does come down to, people having morals..A relationship should be based on trust..and if some one will do that...it just says what kind of person they are??.. Yeah i took the opportunity to hook up with that person, but what im saying is guys can be so convincing and charming to get in your pants, even when having a girlfriend who they are" IN LOVE WITH' girls can do the same. I guess it comes down to morals, and respect for the other person..so if you can do that.. you don't truly have any respect for them?
blind_otter Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 Love isn't enough to hold any relationship together. There has to be more there. Mutual respect, honor, friendship. If the relationship lacks one or all of the external components it will have a short lifespan. SO sayeth the otter. So it shall BE!
Yamaha Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 Some men know of no other way to talk to women. Flirting is the only way they know to communicate. Your friend might fall into this category or he might just be putting out feelers to see if you have any interest. It has nothing to do with love.
justhavetoletgo Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 I have this guy friend, who has a girlfriend of 8 months, He is deeply in love with her, It's not that i like him at all....but I just talked to him online.. and he was asking , well personal questions..like what bra i wear, would i do anything with him if he didn't have a girlfriend.. He has a right to how he feels, I don't care about that...but if you are in love with a girl...and another hot girl comes along...why are guys more willing to cheat???...Is love not enough?? I had my suspicions on my previous relationship, and It's just soo hard to trust any guy..even if they are in love with you?...is this where morals come in?? are there guys out there, that have morals?? A guy who ridiocullsly gave me his myspace link, has a girlfriend as well...so i heard. It just comes down to, are all guys such pigs??? Even another person i was" involved " with...had a girlfriend, but they were fighting...but he took the opportunity to " hook up with me"...do guys not feel about about things?? It's just weird guys are not all pigs. you are an unbelievably attractive women so he probaly just wishes he could hook up with you most guys are like that always thinking well what if???? it doesn't mean they are going to do it
RecordProducer Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 Love alone is never enough, love is simply the fuel that drives you to do all things that do make a relationship work and to endur the ups and downs. What a wonderful perception!
riobikini Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 RE: Brittanyjean06: " I just talked to him online..and he was asking , well personal questions..like what bra i wear, would i do anything with him..." Brittany, I think it has as much to do with his being online, as much as his ideas concerning what love is. It is so much easier to bypass all the normal, routine, rituals of real-life in-person encounters with another person online. You are relieved of feeling the stress or pressure to make a good impression through virtual reality settings, i.e. you could be in your bathrobe and still come up with a pretty good intro line. With this kind of freedom, we, sometimes, forget that these are real people we are talking to, and we especially seem to forget that real-life rules do, actually, apply when online. That means, that, even if you are viewing online interaction as simple entertainment, or a distraction from your 'real' life, -you can easily cross the lines and wind up in 'cheating mode' before you realize it. You just get sucked in. It's simply due to the way we often view many things online: that it doesn't really 'count'. It does. It counts alot in certain circumstances, -and it says lots about you, especially if you are, like this guy- in love, in a relationship, and yet, talking the 'talk' with someone you haven't ever truly met. But that's the 'out' for some, the main reason we tell ourselves it doesn't count. But it can certainly land you in plenty of hot water, especially if you begin to cultivate online relationships that you, then, begin to build upon, which take a turn in the sexual direction, i.e. what turns you on, what are you wearing, etc. These kinds of relationships can be potentially harmful to your real-life relationship, -especially, if he/she finds out about them. You can also become 'addicted' to them: you're unwilling to give them up even after you've been 'caught', you wonder who's taking your place online, if you haven't spoken in a few days, etc. My belief is that more livid jealousy can be created from online relationships than in real-life. Virtual reality relationships can be both fun or destructive, depending on how intelligently and maturely we treat them. So, if you're wondering why this guy has a girlfriend and still plays these kinds of games with you online, well, -the answers I've given you are the ones that lie just on the tip of the iceberg. You'd have to know him better to find out the bigger picture and get the more in-depth answer, -which, after seeing his already apparent behavior- I wouldn't recommend. Hope this helps you some. -Rio
Guest Posted March 8, 2006 Posted March 8, 2006 Love is certainly enough for me. Love is a fickle and funny thing though. There is that intense "in love" feeling one gets at the beginning of a relationship, then there is the more mellow but perhaps more genuine variety of "love" that comes later. I've found my eye starts to wander more after that "in love" feeling wears off.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted March 9, 2006 Author Posted March 9, 2006 Thanks for much! your post had real good advice, and was really true... I don't have feelings for this kid, but Im just curious because it seems to go for alot of other guys who have girlfriends!
MadDog Posted March 9, 2006 Posted March 9, 2006 Thanks for much! your post had real good advice, and was really true... I don't have feelings for this kid, but Im just curious because it seems to go for alot of other guys who have girlfriends! The main reason why a person, guy or girl, will cheat is because they're not happy with the relationship they're in. Sure the guys you hooked up with can tell you that they're in love with their girlfriends but those are just words. If they were truly happy with them, they wouldn't risk losing that unless they were stupid. OK so I guess stupidity would be another reason why people cheat. If I'm with a girl and I'm really into her, I'll naturally start concentrating on her. Sure I might notice a hot girl walking by but the thing is, I have no idea whether that hottie is anywhere as cool or a total bitch. If I have a good thing going, I wouldn't risk it just to find out. At the same time, if the girl I'm with isn't so cool, then I start noticing all sorts of other girls at which point it's probably time to move on because there must be something about her that I'm not quite into. I've got enough cajones to break up with her though before I get involved with another girl. That's where the morals come into play. MD
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