scarletletter Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 It is his birthday this weekend and I reluctantly went and bought him a couple of shirts. They are shirts that he would normally wear as far as the style goes but he would never fork over the money for Ralph Lauren, which is what I bought. So my question is, how does he take them home and explain where he got them. He is very "frugal" and does not own designer clothing. I guess I probably have made a mistake...oh well, just another one on the list of a thousand.
cal gal Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 I vote for returning the shirts and giving him something less obvious. What about something for his office/desk? A clock or desk item that you can have monogram.... HIS INTIALS - not a personal message from you - as that will get him into trouble. A new wallet. A piece of luggage?
Author scarletletter Posted March 2, 2006 Author Posted March 2, 2006 Very good ideas...I should have thought of that instead of how terribally sexy he would look in the colors that I bought....The luggage idea is perfect. He packs in a 25 year old duffle bag!!!
Blind Illusion Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 Gifts are hard because of obvious reasons. If you know he has plans to meet you, you could always treat him to something special. Dinner at some fancy place in another town, etc.
cal gal Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 or a massage at a hotel where he might stay on business....
Meaplus3 Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 It is his birthday this weekend and I reluctantly went and bought him a couple of shirts. They are shirts that he would normally wear as far as the style goes but he would never fork over the money for Ralph Lauren, which is what I bought. So my question is, how does he take them home and explain where he got them. He is very "frugal" and does not own designer clothing. I guess I probably have made a mistake...oh well, just another one on the list of a thousand. I would buy shirts that are more "Frugal" looking, LOL, NO really that would be your best bet at this point if you wish for him to avoid questions.
mopar crazy Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 My H's exOW bought him nice shirts too. My H isn't one on spending a lot of money on clothes either. She bought him two shirts from some expensive clothing store. She also spent a lot on a nice watch. I never knew of these gifts b/c we were seperated at the time (but reconciling). He told me about the shirts and the watch. He gave the watch back to the exOW after he broke it off w/ her. As for the shirts, I donated them. I have to agree, get something less obivious. The W is going to question him about the expensive shirts b/c I'm sure she knows he doesn't usually buy things like that.
CeeJayXXX Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 When a special occasion comes up for my MM we go away for the night....I will surprise him with the penthouse of a lavish hotel, breakfast in bed ...candles and a masage....It something he will remember and we can talk about and less obvious to those who may notice smaller details.
cal gal Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 I am the bertayed spouse - so I can tell you - do something less noticable... unless you intend for him to get caught. He will know that is your intention if you make things obvious...
JayKay Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 My sister figured out my dad was having an affair when he started wearing a new type of cologne and wearing nicer shirts. He NEVER bought that kind of stuff. Took my mother longer to realize, however
Walking away Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 If you get him clothes or cologne, just have him leave them with you so he can wear them exclusively when he is with you. Office decorations also work. I'm all for creating great memories with him. No items to have to explain to the wife....
kpin124 Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 speaking about gifts ........... what do you guys think about burning a cd for mm and giving that to him as a gift???? i have been wanting to do this but am affraid that he won't except it.... so what do any of you think about this???? i wouldn't write anything on the disc that would be suspoious handwritting and not good!
RecordProducer Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 How about you give your MM a big nothing? They already get free pussy on aside from you, ladies! They don't deserve anything.
kpin124 Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 How about you give your MM a big nothing? They already get free pussy on aside from you, ladies! They don't deserve anything. WoW thats a bit harsh........ free pussy.....I don't really think about it that way because it is something we both enjoy..... I mean if i was just meeting up with some random guy and having sex with him then fine but there is a relationship here a bond with my mm its more than just "free pussy"
Walking away Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 kpin, I've gotten lots of CD's that my MM burned for me...I think they are neat and they are sentimental to me. I think that is a cool gift. You know, I KNEW we couldn't get through this post without someone taking a shot a someone. At least, some things are predictable....
kpin124 Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 kpin, I've gotten lots of CD's that my MM burned for me...I think they are neat and they are sentimental to me. I think that is a cool gift. You know, I KNEW we couldn't get through this post without someone taking a shot a someone. At least, some things are predictable.... hey thanks ........ i think i will go ahead and make one for him and give it to him next time we are together.... i thought it would kind of be sentimental also and a cd should be easy enough to hide from his w......
kkat Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 Trying to answer your question in the context asked, I think getting him shirts is going to be a disappointment to you because likely he will not take them home and/or wear them because it could expose his affair with you. During my relationship, and pathetically as recently as two weeks ago for Valentine's Day, my (ex)MM always gave me gifts but I gave up on giving him anything of any significance. It was just too hard - going through the trials of trying to figure out what I could give him that was personal and appropriate for a boyfriend/lover who happened to be hiding our relationship from the world, and therefore, my gifts! I gave him a couple of books and CDs, and I bought him nice cookies and stuff to cram into his big cheating face while he drove home at night. Oh, I also gave him the cologne he drowns his cheating body in, because he buys it anyway. I think you have to give him something consumable or an experience (dinner out, massage, something like that) or something like a CD or book that he could have likely purchased himself and/or easy to hide. One of the most hurtful things that happened in my relationship was that I had given him a Zagat Restaurant Guide that was imprinted with my corporate name (I had them made as corporate gifts for my clients at Christmas). He still has it in his car, with my logo ripped off.... Take those shirts back my friend and buy yourself something nice! Or buy him something that he will likely keep and use and therefore you will not feel hurt. Good luck!
RecordProducer Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 WoW thats a bit harsh........ free pussy.....I don't really think about it that way because it is something we both enjoy..... I mean if i was just meeting up with some random guy and having sex with him then fine but there is a relationship here a bond with my mm its more than just "free pussy" It's still getting milk without buying the cow.
Blind Illusion Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 It's still getting milk without buying the cow. In that context, so is sleeping with ANY man that you are not married to. But then, such sayings only perpetrate the idea that the man, and not the woman get a benefit from sex. No. It's all about us, too and our pleasure. No one is getting anything free.
Guest Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 It's still getting milk without buying the cow. well that is your opinion ....... i still don't consider it " free pussy " its not like we meet have sex and then leave ...... theres alot more to it than that such as the way he makes me feel emotionaly and sexually i just don't see it as him getting free pussy or me getting free cock i mean its not like when we plan to meet i am like allright going to see mm get me some free cock..... i am more excited to see him sure i enjoy the sex it is great probably the best i have ever had ...... and i guess if that makes me a bad person than so be it!
erika2610 Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 well that is your opinion ....... i still don't consider it " free pussy " its not like we meet have sex and then leave ...... theres alot more to it than that such as the way he makes me feel emotionaly and sexually i just don't see it as him getting free pussy or me getting free cock i mean its not like when we plan to meet i am like allright going to see mm get me some free cock..... i am more excited to see him sure i enjoy the sex it is great probably the best i have ever had ...... and i guess if that makes me a bad person than so be it! Ok, this is the problem here sometimes. People jump on the defense too much. Calm down everybody. Nobody said you were a bad person at all.
RecordProducer Posted March 4, 2006 Posted March 4, 2006 Nobody said you were a bad person at all.Exactly. I just don't think that the cake eaters deserve any presents for cheating on their wives. And the more feelings you have for them the harder it is for you that they are married and sleep with their wives. In order that the OW is happy, she should be emotionally detached and simply enjoy the time with her MM. Otherwise she will suffer sooner or later unless he divorces his wife. A gift you give him means "I am happy with things the way they are, you deserve my love." Does he?
Author scarletletter Posted March 5, 2006 Author Posted March 5, 2006 In reading these responses, I'm sure that I will take at least one of the shirts back and he can do whatever he wants with the other one. I think he will take it home and say that someone at the office gave it to him..whatever. I don't think that giving him "free pussy" as you say is a bad choice either, although as far as I know, he has never paid for it anyway. We are going to a really nice place later in the month for two nights and that is part of his gift also. He really does not expect anything, but I always over-do everything, especially when it comes to giving gifts....to anyone. I am impulse buyer and then think about what I have done later. That is why I started this thread....i got to thinking about how he will explain the nicer shirts. For those of you who gave me advice, thank you....I appreciate it and it worked. He will love whatever I give him.
Author scarletletter Posted March 5, 2006 Author Posted March 5, 2006 In order that the OW is happy, she should be emotionally detached and simply enjoy the time with her MM. By the way, I do agree with this. But it is waaaaay to late to detach myself emotionally. We are in way too deep now. I am certainly not rewarding him for cheating on his wife, I am rewarding him with a gift because I am in love with him and want to give him something nice....(besides the obvious "free" stuff).
lolax Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 It is his birthday this weekend and I reluctantly went and bought him a couple of shirts. They are shirts that he would normally wear as far as the style goes but he would never fork over the money for Ralph Lauren, which is what I bought. So my question is, how does he take them home and explain where he got them. He is very "frugal" and does not own designer clothing. I guess I probably have made a mistake...oh well, just another one on the list of a thousand. hi scarlet letter, i got my mm designer boxers for christmas, they are now in his house being washed by his wife ! he told her....some guy was selling them in the pub for a good price .try that x good luck x its my mm birthday soon, imtaking him to a top london hotel , with champers ,strawberries and im dressing up as a ...well that would be telling.
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