lindya Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 My views are based on life experience not some rag. Funny, because your findings are very different from mine.
blind_otter Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 Funny, because your findings are very different from mine. This can easily be explained by the fact that you live in an alternate dimension. Of course this is based on my own experience.
Author Woggle Posted March 1, 2006 Author Posted March 1, 2006 Funny, because your findings are very different from mine. That is because you are from a different country. The culture is very different.
SmoochieFace Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 Funny, because your findings are very different from mine. Why should that be funny? You and Wog live in different countries and there are attitude and cultural differences that transcend into the dating/relating thingy. Not surprising at all that your *findings* may be different.
Author Woggle Posted March 1, 2006 Author Posted March 1, 2006 Women who are abused by their fathers are a male in their life end up becoming manhating feminists which is much different from the type of woman this thread is about.
Chump64 Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 Woggle: No offense, but you appear to hold some views that could be ascribed to a woman-hating chauvinist. Were you abused by your mother? Why do you assume that your life experience "findings" have any shread of truth, for society overall? Don't confuse opinion with fact. Your theories are based on your reality. You are one person. You can't possibly think that your "life experiences" qualify you to make broad, societal generalizations that others should take as truths.
alphamale Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 Woggle: No offense, but you appear to be a woman-hating chauvinest. Were you abused by your mother? no CHUMP....he was anally raped by his spiritual advisor when he was 11
Author Woggle Posted March 1, 2006 Author Posted March 1, 2006 Woggle: No offense, but you appear to hold some views that could be ascribed to a woman-hating chauvinist. Were you abused by your mother? Why do you assume that your life experience "findings" have any shread of truth, for society overall? Don't confuse opinion with fact. Your theories are based on your reality. You are one person. You can't possibly think that your "life experiences" qualify you to make broad, societal generalizations that others should take as truths. I admit I am a recovering misogynist and yes I was abused by my mother very badly.
Chump64 Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 I'm sorry about that, but you do realize that it colors your views, which you seem to think that others should take as fact or reality. Your views are your reality, but you constantly seem to be arguing that everyone should see things as you do -- that your theories are somehow fact / truth. Then again, if it benefits you to hash it out on anonymous bulletin board, maybe that's healthiest way for you to handle it.
blind_otter Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 Women who are abused by their fathers are a male in their life end up becoming manhating feminists which is much different from the type of woman this thread is about. IF we're arguing from experience, here, then how do you explain my bestfriend growing up who was continually molested by her dirtbag father and grew up to marry a physically abusive man who was a recovering heroin junkie?
SmoochieFace Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 Why do you assume that your life experience "findings" have any shread of truth, for society overall? Don't confuse opinion with fact. Your theories are based on your reality. You are one person. You can't possibly think that your "life experiences" qualify you to make broad, societal generalizations that others should take as truths. Boy, I sure wish you would tell a certain other poster this! *women want what they can't have, women need to be abused, women need to depend on men for their happiness, blah blah blah*
Chump64 Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 I think that kind of "this is how things are, I am right" attitude is often a reflection on a person's education level.
Chump64 Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 I admit I am a recovering misogynist A) Are you sure you are recovering? B) Isn't this bulletin board crap you partake in -- the women bashing stuff -- counterproductive to your healing?
lindya Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 That is because you are from a different country. The culture is very different. I know there are differences in culture, but we have religion, girls with sheltered upbringing, drugs and bad boys here too. Sometimes the four come together in one scandalous exciting story....which the Sun Newspaper and its friends are usually on hand to cover. More often the girls with the abusive boyfriends and the drug habits are living on deprived housing estates...and had anything but a sheltered upbringing. Even if you don't read any gossip rags, we're all bombarded with gossip (local, celebrity, news about crimes etc) on a daily basis. We overlook all the people who live normal, mundanely predictable lives. They may be very happy, but they're less interesting to discuss than people who have made unusual, destructive or inexplicable lifestyle choices. If a judge's daughter starts dating a local drug dealer, that's going to be hot gossip. It doesn't mean that judge's daughters are more likely than other groups to date drug dealers though. We're more likely to notice and comment on unusual scenarios where two different worlds and sets of values collide, but it doesn't mean they're the norm.
Author Woggle Posted March 1, 2006 Author Posted March 1, 2006 IF we're arguing from experience, here, then how do you explain my bestfriend growing up who was continually molested by her dirtbag father and grew up to marry a physically abusive man who was a recovering heroin junkie? Because that is all she knows.
blind_otter Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 Because that is all she knows. Okay........but this is directly contradictory to your initial statement, so why is it that sheletered women will go for badboys, according to your theory.
lindya Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 Boy, I sure wish you would tell a certain other poster this! For the record, Smoochie, I worked as a social worker for a number of years, then as a criminal lawyer, then as a family lawyer. If you don't think that's given me some exposure to the world, I suggest you give both professions a bash. I notice you're not challenging Woggle's qualifications to comment on these matters. I hope you're not being gender/culturally biased here.
Author Woggle Posted March 1, 2006 Author Posted March 1, 2006 Okay........but this is directly contradictory to your initial statement, so why is it that sheletered women will go for badboys, according to your theory. Because sheltered women crave drama but they don't want abuse. Too often these badboys turn abusive but they usually present themselves as players. Women who grew up in abusive households either end up just like their mothers or turn into manhating feminists.
SmoochieFace Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 For the record, Smoochie, I worked as a social worker for a number of years, then as a criminal lawyer, then as a family lawyer. If you don't think that's given me some exposure to the world, I suggest you give both professions a bash. I notice you're not challenging Woggle's qualifications to comment on these matters. I hope you're not being gender/culturally biased here. Ah jeez... once again, I have to clarify! Psst... I was speaking of Alpha... Better? As far as Woggle, I agree with him that experience matters a whole hell of a lot so he is more than just qualified to comment.
whichwayisup Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 no CHUMP....he was anally raped by his spiritual advisor when he was 11 You just made me laugh outloud alpha! I admit I am a recovering misogynist and yes I was abused by my mother very badly. I'm sorry to hear that Wog. That's really sad. I'm sure because of what you went through, it has affected you in so many ways.
lindya Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 Better? As far as Woggle, I agree with him that experience matters a whole hell of a lot so he is more than just qualified to comment. Right. But whilst personal life experience is valuable, it can also colour your perceptions of the world around you. There's that temptation to focus your attention on anything that backs up your existing views rather than absorb information that challenges them. The personal experience may encourage you to spend a lot of time thinking about and researching a particular subject....but to the extent that you develop Tunnel vision about it. Example. I once had a colleague who was absolutely obsessed by the notion of ritual abuse. She kept a file chock full of newspaper cuttings and articles about it. f***ing frightening stuff - ie both the articles, and her overwhelming obsession with the subject. It was a matter that had to be addressed with her at some length, for fear of the impact it might have on her practice...eg that she would start to see "signs" of ritual abuse in every single case she had.
blind_otter Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 That's funny. So if you work in a mental hospital and see crazy people all the time, then it's prefectly justified to think the entire world is insane. Because you speak from experience, of course.
Author Woggle Posted March 1, 2006 Author Posted March 1, 2006 With all due respect lindya many people in your position look at things with an academic mind. Not saying this is a bad thing but without personal experience the picture is incomplete and life experience at least in my book amounts to a whole lot more. Not trying to insult you but maybe this is why our perspectives are different.
SmoochieFace Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 Right. But whilst personal life experience is valuable, it can also colour your perceptions of the world around you. There's that temptation to focus your attention on anything that backs up your existing views rather than absorb information that challenges them. The personal experience may encourage you to spend a lot of time thinking about and researching a particular subject....but to the extent that you develop Tunnel vision about it. Oh, come on, EVERYONE'S perceptions of the world are *coloured* by their life experiences! No-one - not even you - is immune from that. Even if you allow information from a different source to enter your mind your experiences still take precedence. Experience cannot be undone therefore it will always be there colouring your perceptions to some extent.
SmoochieFace Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 That's funny. So if you work in a mental hospital and see crazy people all the time, then it's prefectly justified to think the entire world is insane. Because you speak from experience, of course. That's a dumb analogy... unless the person in question is an inmate of said institution and he has been granted trustee status.
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