Snoopy Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 This looks like a forum I've been looking for all night, so here goes nothing - thanks in advance to those who read the following. About two weeks ago, I met a friend of a friend at a party my housemates and I were throwing, and wound up talking to her from 2:30 am to 5:30 am. We were literally the last people in my house to go to bed, and she wound up spending the night with me. We didn't have sex nor did we fool around in any sense of the term, but we did hold each other - all this happening with someone I hadn't even known for a day. A few days afterwards, she sends me an online message thanking me for a good time that night: apparently she was frustrated with the night before talking with me, and I think it's worth mentioning how she said she felt irked by us literally sharing a bed and not talking to each other since for about 4 or 5 days. Last week I saw her again (after a few bouts of IMs here and there), and at the end of the night we wound up sleeping together again - this time at her place. Once again, no sex, no real physical activity besides cuddling and me kissing her cheek/forehead, although we did kiss the morning after right before I left back for my house. We also saw each other again last Sunday to see a movie with her friend. So as it stands now, there are two things going through my mind about this whole situation. 1) I don't know exactly what kind of relationship she wants from me. One of the things we talked about when we first met each other was our thoughts on relationships, and she said (and will still say) that she detests clingy guys.... that said, I've been trying to act pretty aloof around her and not trying to get too attached, although with each passing day I think about her more and more. I'd be fine with either a friends with benefits thing or an actual dating relationship, but I wouldn't mind knowing which one she wants. 2) I'm afraid of losing her. The last few times we've hung out... I've been more quiet than I should. It's not intentional, I just can't find the words usually - no conversation topics come to mind, and it makes me feel weird when I feel the need to force words out of me. Basically, I don't want to bore her and a part of me thinks that that's happening even in little things like AIM conversations. It also feels like recently I'm the one initiating things between the two of us - and I hope I'm not pushing too hard. So that's the long and short of it. I realize parts of this situation can come across as vague, so I'd be happy to answer any questions about anything. But right now, I'm wondering what to do next... this is honestly the first time things have worked out this well for me with a girl, even if we haven't had sex yet. I've had a history of getting too excited too soon with women, always resulting in "we should just stay friends"... so I REALLY don't want to freak her out by doing that again. At the same time, how do I know what will happen if I don't let her know how I really feel? Heh, now I'm hoping I chose the right message board... Anyways, thanks for your time once again, and literally any advice/comments would be very helpful.
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