jen_jen_heartbroken Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 After a week and a half of NC, I screwed up. I was feeling very emotional this morning....ruminating over all the "why" questions....feeling the pain like he dumped me just yesterday (it's been five weeks). So I sent him a text message: "Why did you ask me to trust you?" I guess I can't get that question out of my head, because the whole thing confuses me. I tried to dump him in November when he pulled a houdini act. But he came begging for me to take him back, saying that he would never hurt me again....that it was the depression keeping him away, and it had nothing to do with how he felt about the relationship. So I gave him another chance. Trusted him when he begged me to. And the he dumps me weeks later on the phone when I was sick. Why did he beg for me to trust him when he was just going to dump me anyway? I just feel like I'll never get an answer.
bluechocolate Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 I just feel like I'll never get an answer. And you probably won't, at least not from him. And if you did, would you believe it?
Ariadne Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 Well, The only good thing that you can hold onto, just like fooled told you, is that the guy is an a$$. Now really, returning your romantic cards unopened? In this case you got lucky I'd say that you got rid of that guy. Ariadne
Guest** Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 JJH Trust is earned, not given! This guy obviously hurt you, don't go back for more. You don't need an answer, nor will you probably ever get one. If your goal is to avoid any more disappointment/hurt, stick with the NC. Hang in there! **
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted March 1, 2006 Author Posted March 1, 2006 I know you're right Ariadne. I guess I'm just still so consumed with all of the questions that I know I'll never get answers for. I feel stuck. Like if I don't figure it out or get answers to all the conflicting behavior then I will be too scared to trust again, because I won't know what signs (red flags) to look for. Because for so long, there were no bad signals. Everything was a green light.
Ariadne Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 Hi, I'm just still so consumed with all of the questions that I know I'll never get answers for. I feel stuck. Well, don't we all? I keep thinking that if I get this thing all figured out, I'll have my emotions fixed and resolved and I'll be ready to go. It's hard to though I'm not good for "letting go" either, Ariadne
jerbear Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 Jen_jen.... I guess curiosity got us. At least you will get closure now. I would not trust him after pulling a houdini act.
Sassy Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 Jen_jen.... I guess curiosity got us. At least you will get closure now. I would not trust him after pulling a houdini act. Totally agree with jerbear,you are better without him if he is going to be like that . Hugs to you for hurting ! Hang in there you can do it. Don't give him the time of day .
skeptik224 Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 Jen-Jen, I know you want answers, but the answers you are looking for have to come from within yourself. The answers he gives you you won't believe or will only pose further questions. Trust me when I say you don't need him to provide you with the answers. Soon enough you will be able to look within yourself and find all the answers you need...the true answers...the answers that won't have other questions to follow...It's a process - a long process. Depressed people or the same as "always happy" people. They don't know what their true feelings are about anything. The people that always seem happy aren't really. They're searching for something in relationships that they will never find. Depressed people haven't even begun to try to search. It takes a lot for them to look within themselves, take time alone and try to figure out who they really are. Saying it and doing it are 2 different things. I know it's easy for me to say, but this guy isn't worth the tears you cry...not now anyway.
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