The Studmuffin Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 I'm going to turn my reply post in "does intelligence matter?" into a post of it's own... I've been seing a girl now for a couple of weeks, and everything's been going quite well... we have stuff in common, i think she's beautiful and we can laugh and have fun (and the sex is spectacular). But now I've started to wonder just how strong this connection is that we have. She has gone home (quite far away) after a week with me. The thing is that I do not desperately miss her. I don't spend my afternoons dreaming about her, I don't see her in the people i see in the street and i'm not aching for her in any way... IS THIS A BAD THING? What i mean by this is, and i know it's stupid... do i love her? i know that none of you guys can tell me that, but do you think i'm stressing too much? should i give it time? or should i face the fact that i'm not feeling any strong feelings for her at the moment, and not go further with it?? My thought is that we've gone past the initial attraction/passion/physical phase (a couple of weeks of intense contact) and now the next step needs to be taken. Now, (and this is why i put my answer in the "intelligence" post) I'm thinking that what we need perhaps now is the intellectual bond. we didn't have any long deep conversations (i'm not yet sure she's that type) and nothing much beyond the physical happened between us. So, yeah, now i'm just wondering if this is something i should pursue. the big question is, do i need to feel strong feelings for her at this point, or should i give it time and see if they grow with time... How was your case?? Would love all your advice! Thanx
bluechocolate Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 A couple of weeks? In my book you're not even ready to commit to exclusivity yet, so what is this talk about moving things to the next level? You need to relax a bit me thinks, don't stress about it. Just enjoy the time you have together. And I think I can honestly say that you don't love her, simply because I don't believe that love is possible after only a couple of weeks. Heck, you admit you don't even know if she's capable of an intellectual conversation! I think relationships that build slowly & without all the flutters, sleeplessness and infatuation are relationships that develop staying power. Only bad things happen quickly.
Author The Studmuffin Posted March 1, 2006 Author Posted March 1, 2006 Thanks. That's good to hear... I agree, good things develop over time and yeah, of course i don't "love her" after such a short time. But I can't help wondering if there aren't some strong feelings I should be feeling right now? I know this is my problem, i find it difficult somehow to place trust in my own feelings if they aren't right here, biting my neck so i can feel them. There are reasons for that, of course, from the past. But that's not the thing, the thing is dealing with what is at hand right now... And that's why I would you guys' opinion on whether I should relax and let things unfold ...
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