Mrniceguy Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 [COLOR=black]Firstly I have to saw wow... I just found this place and have read through some of the post and am a amazed that people were so wiling to be so open about there personal lives and that others were willing to give such great advice.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Anyway as you can guess my fist post here and I thought id introduce my self so u can all get a better idea of what am like.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]As u might have guessed from my name am just that... a nice guy... not a wipm mind you (noticed that’s what it amounts to for some people) but the rest of it’s about right.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Am a 17 year old student from the UK, I am very shy and don’t have much luck with girls. To the point IV never had a girlfriend. Mostly because I lack allot of confidence. This stems from a very traumatic incident that affected my family when I was 11. The result was that I shut down socially and it was about 2 years before I began to socialize again... or at least try.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]The damage had already been done; nearly every one I knew saw me as sum weird, depressed kid and didn’t want to know me. I made a few very good friends, who I still know now and they realized I was nothing of the sort but even 5 or so year’s later people hold the same perception of me and I can’t seem to make them see otherwise. This just made feel worse and never really built up much confidence since.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Any way that’s the depressing part done with now on to the rest [/COLOR] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]As I said am 17, I live in the UK and am a nice guy. am aware am not amazing looking but am not terrible either, am around 5'8" tall and a quite broad shouldered (18 and a half inches from shoulder to shoulder) a little overweight but not terribly.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]I keep a small number of close friends, those Iv know for years and problem for many more.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Now down to business. As Iv said (a few times now) am a nice guys so I am shy, I polite and quire friendly. but I have very little luck with girls, some of it I know is because of what they already think of me, but its difficult to make them see otherwise as I never get such an opportunity. Allot also stems from my lack of confidence and inability to start a conversation with any one (not just girls).[/COLOR] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]If I get to know them I can often talk with the quite comfortably, not start a conversation still but talk at least. And this is what I consider the odd part... even when I know a girl quite well I can’t bring my self to talk to them if there with guys I don’t know. Or know very well, I 'know' every 1 but I don’t talk to them and I find it so difficult to do.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]I find it hard to talk to them if there with there friends but I guess that’s not so unusual.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]Anyway hope u all know me a little now and any advice on anything Iv mentioned would be great .[/COLOR] Cheers MrNiceGuy p.s.ignor the line coulers it came up on preveiw didnt relize that would happen
The Studmuffin Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 hey mister nice guy! yeeey! i get to answer first! nice to see an honest chap speaking up about himself. i can even say that i'm not totally unfamiliar with your feeling. i'm not going to say many words about this. my advice to you would be to believe in yourself. that's the best anybody can do, no matter their looks or confidence. i've seen not-so-good-looking girls and boys looking happy and getting some luck with the other (or the same) sex, when they gather some self-confidence and act like they don't have any problem. i've never really had a girlfriend either and have never had much luck with girls even though i would say i was good-looking. this was just because i didn't have much guts to walk the walk myself. lately i've been seeing that it doesn't matter how you look, it matters how you feel. so if you feel confident in yourself, you can go wherever you want. so, recently i decided that it was my time to get out there. i started to tell myself that i had sexual confidence and that i could go all the way myself. and then there was not problem. so, just do it, if you want to. try to believe that you're a great guy (which you probably are) and believe that you can attract girls. just try. and sometimes you have to fake it 'till you make it. you can do it, man! (and ps. you would do a great thing in editing your post and removing those html brackets!)
Becoming Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Welcome, MrNiceGuy! This is an interesting place, to be sure! Something I noticed in what you posted (can't help you with all the color thing popping up--I'm not that sophisticated). It's with this: I have very little luck with girls, some of it I know is because of what they already think of me, Do you also have mindreading capabilities? WOW! Just teasing. You don't really know what anyone else thinks. You guess based on your past, but sometimes your past experience can block what you see in the present that would change your perception. Get it? In other words, sometimes we assume people are thinking of us in certain ways when really, it's just us projecting our own stuff onto others and keeping us locked in our own past views rather than open to the change of seeing something new. Start approaching women like you introduced yourself here, with no one perceiving you in a certain way, and see what happens. You come off as truly a NiceGuy without being a wimp.
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