vwjetta99 Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 I want to find the best way to confront my girlfriend about her possible infidelity. I've checked her phone and I've checked up to see if she's where she says she is. I've caught her in lies, but I feel guilty about the way I've come across this info. I can understand if you just happened to come across an open note or accidentally found something on the internet. I on the other hand went out to find trouble. Does that now make me equal in blame?
michelangelo Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 If you are in a serious relationshio and yo go snooping based on a unch and find something, then that is a justified thing. Tood bad if they don't want you snooping. Cheating is a magnitude order of a worse thing than that. However, if there clearly is no reason to be snooping but for your insecurities and you don't find anything but for innocence, then you have to stop.
bluechocolate Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Your g/friend will try to turn it around to make the invasion of her privacy the issue. You'll have to be strong & refuse to allow her to do that. You can say something like, "Yes, I know what I did was wrong and I'm sorry, but I followed a hunch & it has proved correct. What we really need to talk about is ......." You may find that you have to keep repeating that, but whatever you do, do not get into a yelling match with her about the snooping. Once you've done that you'll have lost this battle & will only have to come back to fight it all over again.
Mz. Pixie Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 I agree with Blue C. Just want to add one thing- do not expose too soon. Make sure you've got her dead to rights before you expose. That way she is less likely to be able to turn it around on you, and she will try to turn it around on you. If you expose before you have full proof or beat around the bush about it instead of confronting her then she'll just be more careful in the future.
tanbark813 Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 I agree with Blue C. Just want to add one thing- do not expose too soon. Make sure you've got her dead to rights before you expose. That way she is less likely to be able to turn it around on you, and she will try to turn it around on you. If you expose before you have full proof or beat around the bush about it instead of confronting her then she'll just be more careful in the future. Ditto this 100%. If you've found something that's a dealbreaker, then who cares how you approach the confrontation?
zoidberg Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 I agree that you should definitely not confront without absolute proof, or as close to it as you can get. What have you found so far that concerns you?
933KJL Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 If it is a recent relationship, why not just break up and be done with it?
magda Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 If it is a recent relationship, why not just break up and be done with it? Yep. Personally I wouldn't bother to confront. I would accuse and leave!
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