Raven1845 Posted March 3, 2006 Posted March 3, 2006 (((LISHY))) You know about my ex from my previous threads. Well, I just found out from a mutal friend that there is a girl he's chasing. It broke my heart. My friend said, "He doesn't care about her. He chases her because she doesn't want him. He chases her because she won't give him the time of day and sometimes won't even look his way. She doesn't have sex with him if she ever does see him. She never calls and never texts messages him. You did the opposite. I don't want to sound mean, but I told you he wants what he can't have." Yeah, I did the opposite. I loved him. I thought when you love someone you have sex with them. I thought when you love someone you treat them good. I thought once you had an established relationship, the games should be over. I thought wrong . . . I treated him great. I'm even better looking and a better person than she is. But screw me . . . She doesn't want him and ignores him. Guess which one he regrets losing? That "be mean and keep 'em keen" stuff may work for individuals that aren't "all there" emotionally, or for those that don't want a long term relationship. I'm just not into that. And I'm not into games. But apparently, many people are. Gosh, that sucks.
Mary3 Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 I think the loss of interest in you and the heightened interest in the girl who would not give him the time of day goes as follows. : He clearly knows what you want , its layed in his lap, he has no effort , its just there and it available so thus its no challenge. If everytime you put a dollar in a slot machine and was gauranteed your money back pretty soon it would not be as stimulating because you knew the outcome of the situation : You knew you would win the jackpot whether you made the effort or not. Consequently : The girl who is ignoring him becomes a challenge because it has an unpredictable outcome and he will work at similar results like a dog chasing a car....what would the dog do if he caught up to the car ? Simply put , there's more work and effort and men are hunters and they need to feel the beast is going to hide and go to great lengths not to get caught. Its a * sport * if you will....
travellingman Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 I've seen guys and girls both start games because they were afraid of being hurt, had nothing to do with a chase or being unworthy partners.
lindya Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 I've seen guys and girls both start games because they were afraid of being hurt, had nothing to do with a chase or being unworthy partners. That's probably what the game-playing is 90% of the time. People rationalising the manifestation of their doubts and insecurities by portraying them as being part of some grand, Machiavellian seduction plan.
monkey00 Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 I've seen guys and girls both start games because they were afraid of being hurt, had nothing to do with a chase or being unworthy partners. yes, nobody wants to be someone else's fool. The worse part is no one wants to admit it by leaving their ego vulnerable, so rather they continue to play games. Attempt at communication wont even get through....trust is always so important, once you lose that it's hard. But then sometimes games naturally happen because someone's interest level is low, it isnt exactly planned you know.
Craig Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 Being anyone other than what you are in a relationship is a sure way to end up without a relationship or to end up in a mutually embittering dysfunctional waste of your life.
Outcast Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 Consequently : The girl who is ignoring him becomes a challenge because it has an unpredictable outcome and he will work at similar results like a dog chasing a car....what would the dog do if he caught up to the car ? Simply put , there's more work and effort and men are hunters and they need to feel the beast is going to hide and go to great lengths not to get caught. Feh. It's not about wanting to go through work and effort (who in their right mind wants that?); it's about thinking you maybe have a chance with someone you're interested in and not wanting to give up until you know. It's not the chase that makes the interest, it's just that there's no other option if you're interested and haven't gotten an answer yet. The person he ignored was ignored because he wasn't interested, period. She could have played the game all she wanted and he still wouldn't have been interested.
travellingman Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 Being anyone other than what you are in a relationship is a sure way to end up without a relationship or to end up in a mutually embittering dysfunctional waste of your life. Many good relationships begin with one person pretending they are a little busier than they are, or playing a little hard to get. The problems only arise if the games keep going on as the relationship matures.
fraidycat Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 I'd say the problem arises when the relationship is ready to mature but the people in it are not. The root of nearly all relationship problems involves one or both parties having some growing up to do.
TheTallOne Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 I'd say the problem arises when the relationship is ready to mature but the people in it are not. The root of nearly all relationship problems involves one or both parties having some growing up to do. Now... that makes sense.
Raven1845 Posted March 6, 2006 Posted March 6, 2006 I think the loss of interest in you and the heightened interest in the girl who would not give him the time of day goes as follows. : He clearly knows what you want , its layed in his lap, he has no effort , its just there and it available so thus its no challenge. If everytime you put a dollar in a slot machine and was gauranteed your money back pretty soon it would not be as stimulating because you knew the outcome of the situation : You knew you would win the jackpot whether you made the effort or not. Consequently : The girl who is ignoring him becomes a challenge because it has an unpredictable outcome and he will work at similar results like a dog chasing a car....what would the dog do if he caught up to the car ? Simply put , there's more work and effort and men are hunters and they need to feel the beast is going to hide and go to great lengths not to get caught. Its a * sport * if you will.... This girl he's chasing . . . she's an ex he cares nothing about. He only chases her because she can no longer stand him. Once he gets her, he'll go right back to being an ass. (He's even admitted this). That's just how he is, unfortunately. I've read several times how "men are hunters" and I get so tired of hearing that. There should come a time in a relationship when games should be over. An intellectual challenge should be enough once a relationship matures. The "maybe I'll sleep with you, maybe I won't" and "maybe I care for you, maybe I don't" shouldn't exist in a real relationship. Those that want to continue to chase, and would rather be unsure of their partner's feelings should not develop serious or long-term relationships. I just think games are very childish. A relationship can be fun and challenging without the games that make each other unsure of their partner's feelings. I'm talking about games that can hurt. All I know is, if I love someone I show it without being a sappy, needy mess. If anyone pulled the "treat 'em mean" crap with me, I'd be gone . . . their loss.
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