Woggle Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 I work with a guy who's wife is always mad at him. He complains about how he trys everything to make her happy and nothing works. I told him to stop trying to make her happy and just work on himself. He needs to do his own thing and tell her to come and talk to him when she is ready to talk to him like a human being. If it doesn't change in a few months consider divorce. Men need to stop trying to please women that are impossible to please.
SmoochieFace Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 I work with a guy who's wife is always mad at him. He complains about how he trys everything to make her happy and nothing works. I told him to stop trying to make her happy and just work on himself. He needs to do his own thing and tell her to come and talk to him when she is ready to talk to him like a human being. If it doesn't change in a few months consider divorce. Men need to stop trying to please women that are impossible to please. He needs to just friggin' leave. No need to *try* anything with her. I wouldn't put up with that *beep*.
Author Woggle Posted February 28, 2006 Author Posted February 28, 2006 He needs to just friggin' leave. No need to *try* anything with her. I wouldn't put up with that *beep*. Yeah but he needs the piece of mind to know he tried everything.
Becoming Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Sounds like decent advice, which would make her responsible for her words/actions that are hurting the relationship. But I'd also add doing the emotional needs questionaire on http://www.marriagebuilders.com, which if you don't know, W, would be really helpful as you head into a new marriage. Her complaining is probably the result of her not feeling like he's meeting her emotional needs when he's busting his buns to try to please her by doing things that speak to his emotional needs. But that's just like trying to be understood in Swahili when she doesn't speak Swahili.
Xelium Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 My god, a lot of people are like that, he's gonna have to consider the divorce.. ;(
SmoochieFace Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Yeah but he needs the piece of mind to know he tried everything. I wouldn't waste any more time if I was in his shoes. The *peace of mind* would come after she left and the papers have been signed and approved by the judge. My XW was one of those whiners and I basically told her to get the *beep* outta my house. She did and that night I cracked open the first beer and by Christ when the second one was gone I was basking in some really great *piece of mind*.
Author Woggle Posted February 28, 2006 Author Posted February 28, 2006 I wouldn't waste any more time if I was in his shoes. The *peace of mind* would come after she left and the papers have been signed and approved by the judge. My XW was one of those whiners and I basically told her to get the *beep* outta my house. She did and that night I cracked open the first beer and by Christ when the second one was gone I was basking in some really great *piece of mind*. That is what I would do as well but he is not ready.
SmoochieFace Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 That is what I would do as well but he is not ready. What's holding him back? Does he have kids? Is he scared of being alone?
Author Woggle Posted February 28, 2006 Author Posted February 28, 2006 What's holding him back? Does he have kids? Is he scared of being alone? He is scared of being alone. He is a very emasculated man.
SmoochieFace Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 He is scared of being alone. He is a very emasculated man. I recommend that he walk... no, RUN... to the nearest clinic and have the doc on duty perform an emergency reattachment of his nuts... he obviously lost them somewhere along the path of his marriage. Seriously, what's his story? How old is he? Is this his first marriage? Does he have any *guy friends* or is he all alone in that regard?
Author Woggle Posted February 28, 2006 Author Posted February 28, 2006 I recommend that he walk... no, RUN... to the nearest clinic and have the doc on duty perform an emergency reattachment of his nuts... he obviously lost them somewhere along the path of his marriage. Seriously, what's his story? How old is he? Is this his first marriage? Does he have any *guy friends* or is he all alone in that regard? I invited him to hang out with the guys but he had to ask his wife permission. He is 32 and has been married for about 6 years.
SmoochieFace Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 I invited him to hang out with the guys but he had to ask his wife permission. He is 32 and has been married for about 6 years. Ask wife for permission? ... Wow, this one's gonna be tough!
Becoming Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Really, permission? Or was he just being considerate of her, asking about mutual plans they may have had, etc.? So what would that operation be called, Smooch? A nutectomy? Or has that already been done and it would be better deemed masculinotomy? Just wondering . . .
SmoochieFace Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Really, permission? Or was he just being considerate of her, asking about mutual plans they may have had, etc.? So what would that operation be called, Smooch? A nutectomy? Or has that already been done and it would be better deemed masculinotomy? Just wondering . . . Actually, the word you are thinking of is *orchidectomy* but that means cutting off the testicles and as we know Wog's friend already went through that procedure. I guess the opposite of that would be a *reverse orchidectomy*.
whichwayisup Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Uhm, isn't this called "high maitenance woman?" They take, and take, rasing the expectations higher and higher so no matter what the hubby does, it's just not enough and she is left wanting more ... Never happy with how things really are. My hubby and I joke around when we see a married couple friend of ours. He tells me how lucky he is that I'm so easy to please. (He truthfully told me, I'm like a guy - Meaning, just give me sex and I'm happy!) LOL!
SmoochieFace Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Uhm, isn't this called "high maitenance woman?" Actually, it's called a *b!tch*.
Becoming Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Actually, the word you are thinking of is *orchidectomy* but that means cutting off the testicles and as we know Wog's friend already went through that procedure. I guess the opposite of that would be a *reverse orchidectomy*. Wow. And I never knew men could be deflowered, too.
Chump64 Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 You know what’s funny Woggle? You post a lot about feminist “manhaters,” but many of the recent threads you have started smack - decidedly - of woman hating.
lindya Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 I work with a guy who's wife is always mad at him. He complains about how he trys everything to make her happy and nothing works. Is he constantly trying to placate her? Some people do that in order to avoid conflict or hearing things that they can't handle. That can be a barrier to communication....and people do get very frustrated when communication breaks down. Rather than constantly trying to please her with actions that he hopes will avert conflict, perhaps he needs to ask her directly what the problem is, and be prepared to listen to and discuss that problem with her. If she doesn't know, then she needs to figure it out in her head then sit down and discuss it with him once she has a better idea about what's winding her up so much. Unless you've been a fly on the wall in their house, you don't know for sure that it's all her fault. It's human nature to blame other people for conflicts, and it's probably a lot easier for this guy to paint his wife as the wicked witch and himself as the blameless victim. Especially if he knows that you have a bit of an issue with "bitchy women" and will always give him a sympathetic ear. When people are confiding in you about marital problems, it's important to check yourself for any potential gender biases you have before issuing advice. Just telling someone to get a divorce when you've only heard their side of things isn't necessarily the way to go.
Outcast Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 People can have exceedingly skewed ideas of how well they have actually 'tried to do everything s/he wants' and they are hardly likely to tell you the true story. Her complaining is probably the result of her not feeling like he's meeting her emotional needs when he's busting his buns to try to please her by doing things that speak to his emotional needs. We had a poster earlier complaining of exactly that. The best advice is not to tell someone to end a relationship, particularly if the guy loves her. The best advice is to tell them to go see a counsellor who will be able, after talking to BOTH parties and watching their interaction, OBJECTIVELY assess the situation and make recommendations. Maybe you bitter boys are right and she's all the horrible things you think. But maybe he's a real pill to get along with and has no idea how little he actually does for her. You have no business trying to get people to end relationships. Tell them to get counselling and let professionals make that recommendation.
Mz. Pixie Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 . Unless you've been a fly on the wall in their house, you don't know for sure that it's all her fault. It's human nature to blame other people for conflicts, and it's probably a lot easier for this guy to paint his wife as the wicked witch and himself as the blameless victim. Especially if he knows that you have a bit of an issue with "bitchy women" and will always give him a sympathetic ear. When people are confiding in you about marital problems, it's important to check yourself for any potential gender biases you have before issuing advice. Just telling someone to get a divorce when you've only heard their side of things isn't necessarily the way to go. Hurrah! You know, I actually didn't take the bait earlier when I saw this post. Then I saw that you and Outcast had been here so I figured I could step in and put in my .02 I actually think Woggle is not this concerned with these kind of things but that he just posts smack to get a rise out of some of us.
tanbark813 Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 I think this thread shares a trait that can be applied to most--perhaps even all--threads directed at one sex: It can apply to either sex. We all have our needs, male or female. And neither gender is immune to having members who are impossible to please.
Chump64 Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 What's odd is that Woggle finds other peoples' situations (usually people he observes / situations that don't affect him directly), assesses what he thinks is going on, and comes here to make societal statements about them based on his pre-existing notions of women (and how effed up we all are).
lindya Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 I actually think Woggle is not this concerned with these kind of things but that he just posts smack to get a rise out of some of us. A day in the life... 9.00am morning coffee and toast. Exercise one. Splitting. Idealisation of a favoured object, in order to isolate, belittle and damage the perceived persecutory object. An exercise best conducted with the aid of a suitable news item in the morning paper. Ideally, there will be a story involving an eminently sensible female judge sentencing someone's nagging wife to 35 years hard labour in the salt mines. 10.30am Exercise two. Self-fulfilling prophecy. Point out to various female colleagues the various flaws "most women" possess. Keep doing it until you've angered them into revealing the full extent of their inner foulness, thus proving every argument ever put forward about feminists being vile man-haters. 12 noon. lunch followed by a short walk along a lakeside. Preferably with a male colleague who was mugged and beaten by 4 armed and drunken lesbians yesterday evening. If there happen to be any women around, try pushing them into the lake to see what happens. The good ones will sink to the bottom, but you'll find that most women will swiftly emerge at the water's surface spluttering and shouting obscenities. This is a sign of evil magick. Maketh ye old sign of the cross, then hold the witch's head under water as demonstrated by Sir Michael of Douglas in Fatal Attraction. 3.30pm Exercise three. Several hours spent googling the words "Andrea" "Dworkin" "feminazi" "innocent man" and "emasculation". Re-enter the battle against so-called strong women with renewed vigour and purpose.
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