neiu Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Been around searching for answers and seeing what other people have been doing for a few months now. I was with a girl for a year and a half and I suppose with everyone else it seemed so perfect most of the time and then we hit a rough patch and things fell apart and she broke it off. Anyway, that was almost a year ago and for a many months after the break up I did the calling, emailing, mailing, pleading, begging I mean you name it and nothing worked. Absolutely hopeless so I finally decided not to ever talk to her or even acknowledge her presence when I see her 2 months ago. We do go to the same college. Anyway I recently got an invite to her bday which went straight to my junk but I check it just to see whats in there. Didn't bother reading it and just deleted it. I guess my question is why would she even bother if in the end, it was her who said to leave things as they were with us not talking to each other. Does this really make sense to anyone? I did invite her to my bday and she came; we were broken up already at that time and I was trying to get back with her and we did end up kissing which makes things more weird. Nothing came out of it except us not talking to each other. But do you guys think shes inviting me for the sole purpose that I invited her to mine? Don't get me wrong, I definitely will not be attending or saying anything but at the same time i feel really bad and an ass if i don't say anything. I still do truly care for her and at the same time i guess there is still a little part of me that wishes for things to work out again for us but at the moment i don't see it happening. She just hasn't given me any clear indications whatsoever. But yeah thanks for taking the time to read and any replies would be awesome. This site is definitely great with amazing people who really care and truly want to help others. I cannot thank you guys enough for the help you have given me to get me through my break up so far. but if anything is ture, NC does make the healing process easier and faster. I wish it didn't take me so long to realize that.
pandnh4 Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 do you guys think shes inviting me for the sole purpose that I invited her to mine? could be that or all sorts of other things... perhaps she never deleted you from her address book... what this an e-vite?
Author neiu Posted February 28, 2006 Author Posted February 28, 2006 Just an email from her hotmail account. But I'm pretty sure she blocked and deleted me from her msn. And just by looking at the emails it got sent to, it definitely was not her whole msn list. then again i don't know these days, once i stopped contact with her, i delted and blocked her and got rid of her contact. I just don't understand why after 2 months of not talking I get an invite
skeptik224 Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 If you have been broken up, I don't see her inviting you only because you invited her. I would venture to say that she does miss you. That doesn't mean she misses you as a partner though. It's so hard to say. I'm glad that you aren't going to go. If you do want to respond, you could always just respond being really short saying "can't make it but have a happy birthday." Just be careful if you do that. You would then be opening the door to communication and letting her know in a non-intentional way that it's ok to contact you. It doesn't mean you're an ass if you don't respond. We've all not responded to e-mails and voicemails that our exes have left us. That's just something we do to heal (although some have done it to play a game). The choice is yours...
pandnh4 Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 i would say that if you're over her you could show up with a close buddy or even a date, no? that would send a clear message to her that she can't toy with you if that's what she's up to... on the other hand, if you're not *completely* over her, don't bother going cause you risk getting all caught up with what she's doing, who she's paying attention to, etc... as skeptik says, she may actually miss you... but to what degree is the big question and it's probably best that you don't know... stay strong and try not to read into these things too much... i should be following my own advice sometimes but hey, we're all trying to help each other here... =)
Author neiu Posted March 4, 2006 Author Posted March 4, 2006 Thanks for the advice guys. So The birthday has come and passed. As for the actual party or gathering or whatever it was I have no idea when that is but at the same time I don't really care. However, I took the NC route for my own sake because I figure if she has something real to say to me she can call or write me a personal email. She won't have me strung along or have me boost her ego. I still don't understand her intentions though and I think that's the thing I have the most trouble understanding. Really now, is there a point in inviting the ex to your bday who you don't speak to anymore and also know how they feel about you? Maybe I'm just angry or confused but regardless I decided on not saying anything. I do miss her and I wish we could talk again and I hope by me ignoring this, it will not kill those chances. And I guess if it has then so be it, life goes on.
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