Would like to save a friendship

[denverfool]

[FONT=Times New Roman]Hello,[/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman]I’m a team leader for a group of three employees. We’ve been together for five years and spend a lot of team together. We’re all in our early thirties and consider our relationship to be professional. Our conversations usually center on work or family and may be considered boring to most. One of my colleges is a woman and for the last few months I have notice our conversations turning personal. We were working on a very important project and the change in topic was welcoming and stress relieving. We never said anything bad about our current relationships, in fact it seems like all is well on the home fronts, but I find myself listening to every word she says. I go out of my way to spend more time with her and her with me. Now our conversations routinely veer off our project to other things. We now work later and have more dinners together. I know what you’re thinking. This sounds like an emotional connection and I agree. That’s why I asked to be replaced and to be transferred to another team. My problem is that I never gave an explanation to her. In fact I have been avoiding her (she’s been calling, emailing, coming by my office). I would like to tell her something. I just don’t know what to say. She’s a wonderful person and I feel an explanation is necessary. Thank you for you help.[/FONT]

[Candied-Heart]

Just be honest. Say politely that you value her friendship and hope to not seem assuming, though that you felt the friendship was becoming a bit too full on and would like to concentrate your time and energy on your partner. Apologise for not informing her earlier. That you would still like to remain friends and perhaps offer to give her some space until then?

 

That's what I'd say anyway

[Guest]

What I WISH, my H would have done in this situation, is definatly not say that he was leaving because he had a strong or emotion attraction to her (I am sure she would eed o of that) but rater say something about how leaving would you you more time to spend with your wife. IMO, I dont think you can ever be riends with this woman, because it does seem you are getting too close. Once conversations, emails, and such are used OUTSIDE the work place, it sets a stage for disaster and pain. I am proud that at least you have noticed it was getting inapprioate, and did something about it. I wish more men were like you!

[Kenyth]

Honesty is a good policy here. Just thank her for her company and tell her you felt like you two were getting too close for comfort and you have no desire to hurt your spouse, so you're backing off for everyones good.