Guest Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 I've been dating my GF now for about 3 months, everything is absolutely amazing. This is by far the best relationship I've been in. The next logical step in the relationship is exchanging I love yous. I really don't know if she'd say it first, if I had to guess I'd say she isn't. I know a lot of relationships are either made of broken at this stage. I've heard many stories of people being crushed because their partner does not feel the same. When I say it I want her to return it and mean it, I don't want her to say she doesn't feel the same. Do you think I'd be relatively safe saying this if she says things like "I love spending time with you" "You're amazing" she signed her card love, etc? How long did you wait until you exchanged it in your relationships?
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 Me and my boyfriend got together with "I love you"s, but I guess that's not very indicative of the relationship norm. The things you stated don't necessarily imply love, since I know I say stuff like that pretty often just out of friendliness. If you really want that perfect first ilu, then wait for her to say it first. Females are generally more emotional and tend to fall in love faster anyway.
gfto Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 SLOW DOWN Tiger!!! You've only got three months in with this girl. As long as she's showing up on time for dates, touching you, and laughing at your jokes, that's all that matters. Dropping the L-word on her could be disasterous. Let her say it first.
RetroMan Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 Me and my ex-girlfriend for ages used to mouth the words "colourful" and "colourful tool" to each other because, when mouthed but not spoken, it's supposed to look like your saying "I love you" and "I love you too". It was a bit childish but was a fun way of trying to express it without actually saying the words which seemed quite scary at the time. Eventually, we were sitting round at home one day and saying it and then she just looked at me and quietly said "I love you" and then I said it back and we confessed that for quite a long time we had actually been mouthing those words to each other for real Then we cuddled like crazy and smooched on the sofa. That's how we did it anyway. She was the first to make the move though. We were really desperate to say it to each other by that point (which was about three months too). I guess you just get a feeling when it's the right time.
loveheart59 Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 "The next logical step" how romantic! Only say it when you mean it and its better someone doesnt say it back than lie to you. Its much better when its genuine...
Candied-Heart Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 ..used to mouth the words "colourful" and "colourful tool" to each other because, when mouthed but not spoken, it's supposed to look like your saying "I love you" and "I love you too". Haha. I'ma gonna try this tonight.
clynn Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Oh my gosh. I couldn't say it first. Which just goes to show that the male first or female first can't be a rule to be relied on.
Guest Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Oh my gosh. I couldn't say it first. Which just goes to show that the male first or female first can't be a rule to be relied on. I know you can't rely on that rule. I've seen many guys tell thier gf they love them first that are still happily together. This isn't something I'm planning to run out and just say to her as soon as possible. I want to say it at a time that will be meaningful. I also know this isn't something to take lightly. My last GF I dated for a year and never said it, I never felt it, that's why I never said it. It's completely different this time, even so soon. I know she told me one of her friends BFs told her he loved her after about 5 months, she didn't seem to think that was too soon. I don't know why I feel the need to tell her, it's just something I truely want to do. I guess love does strange things to people, I find myself waking up with her in the morning and not being able to stop smiling. I've never felt a connection like this before, and it's not like I'm inexperianced with women. I've had 2 relationships that lasted over a year, one I wasn't able to say the words to because I didn't feel it, I have no idea why I stayed in that so long, the other I said after 7 months, but we ended up breaking up because we both changed too much.
Tenorman Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Dude, a guy should never say "I love you" before a woman has said it at least 100 times and then he should only say it back if and when he has decided he does actually love the woman and would be prepared to marry her and even then he should say it really quickly and mumble a bit...
clynn Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Dude, a guy should never say "I love you" before a woman has said it at least 100 times and then he should only say it back if and when he has decided he does actually love the woman and would be prepared to marry her and even then he should say it really quickly and mumble a bit... NO!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my gosh - if I said I love you and didn't get an "I love you" back I would be very shaken. If it took a few days or a week or something - okay. But to have me say it over and over again and NOT say it to me. Well, I'll tell you, I wouldn't be waiting around.....I will have moved on and thought you just didn't love me by that time. And how sad that would be. You are foolish, Tenorman. Very foolish.
Tenorman Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Uh Clynn I was trying to make a wee joke but uh I suppose it may explain why i have never been married and seem totally incapable of holding down any kind of long term relationship:laugh: (Does the smiley face help?)
BeFree Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Dude, a guy should never say "I love you" before a woman has said it at least 100 times and then he should only say it back if and when he has decided he does actually love the woman and would be prepared to marry her and even then he should say it really quickly and mumble a bit... Tenorman, Now that is funny! Why is that funny? I think you must be related to my boyfriend. thanks for that laugh!
Tenorman Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 My pleasure BeFree. Actually I think Clynn's response (which is really nice btw) adds to the humour. She must be a really great girl to give a guy as much as a "week or something" before braining him with the frypan...
BeFree Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Yes, I did without the frying pan and finally said: "well that's it, if you don't tell me by my 32 birthday, we are over!" Guess what happened on my 32 birthday. Now he says it all the time....under his breath, one foot out the door.
Tenorman Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 "Now he says it all the time....under his breath, one foot out the door." To me anyway, that proves he really means it!
BeFree Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 I guess, I think with men, they don't want to say it unless they are absolutely certain they feel that way. It meant more to me that he waited. I knew and still know that it is not false.
Tenorman Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 I agree with you BeFree. In my opinion, a guy needs to take it back into his cave for a while, brood on it, poke and prod it etc until he is satisfied that it can see the light of day... but hey that could just be me
BeFree Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 I agree with you BeFree. In my opinion, a guy needs to take it back into his cave for a while, brood on it, poke and prod it etc until he is satisfied that it can see the light of day... but hey that could just be me Good God I love your sense of humor. I have always been partial to Ausies!
clynn Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 I agree with you BeFree. In my opinion, a guy needs to take it back into his cave for a while, brood on it, poke and prod it etc until he is satisfied that it can see the light of day... but hey that could just be me Maybe that explains why I haven't seen my guy for a while. Maybe he is in his cave brooding on this one. I haven't said it to him nor him to I but it has become clear it is a hurdle that must come to pass or else no moving forward.
Nur Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 I was far too shy to say it first to my boyfriend. It was only my first relationship, too, so I don't know if I ever would have said it! The first time I heard it was at the end of a voicemail he left me. "I love you. Bye." I listened to it about three times in a row. Even then, it took me a few days to work up the courage to say it back. I still remember how hard my heart was beating. Finally I got the words out, and was filled with this light, floating sense of elation, and as I said them, I could feel that I meant them. It's like my heart knew what my mind was too hesitant to admit. Then came his warm, smiling voice: "I love you, too." Those rules like, "The girl should always say it first" or "This much time should pass before you say it" are utterly untrue. There are no rules when it comes to something like this. I am just glad that for me, those words were magic.
Guest Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 I was far too shy to say it first to my boyfriend. It was only my first relationship, too, so I don't know if I ever would have said it! The first time I heard it was at the end of a voicemail he left me. "I love you. Bye." I listened to it about three times in a row. Even then, it took me a few days to work up the courage to say it back. I still remember how hard my heart was beating. Finally I got the words out, and was filled with this light, floating sense of elation, and as I said them, I could feel that I meant them. It's like my heart knew what my mind was too hesitant to admit. Then came his warm, smiling voice: "I love you, too." Those rules like, "The girl should always say it first" or "This much time should pass before you say it" are utterly untrue. There are no rules when it comes to something like this. I am just glad that for me, those words were magic. Just out of curiousity, how long into the relationship was it when he said it?
catgirl1927 Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 The first time I heard it was at the end of a voicemail he left me. "I love you. Bye." I listened to it about three times in a row. This is really cute.
Nur Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 Just out of curiousity, how long into the relationship was it when he said it? It was three months or so, I believe. I know he'd felt that way about me a lot longer, but I am glad he waited a while before saying it so as not to freak me out.
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