sick of it Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 Im not allowed to say i miss you im not allowed to say i always think about you i dont want to know what youre doing because im so afraid i dont want to hear from you because i cant handle it i shouldnt love you but i do i shouldnt want to be with you but i do how this has been so easy for you ill never understand, and even if i did, i still feel the way i do when ill stop comparing everyone to you, i dont know when will i knock your pedestal down? i want to be able to talk to you the way we used to i want to know i can call on you for anything why memories flood me to the point of paralysis i dont know i dream of the day they go away i have to wish on amnesia because i know youre not coming back the memories just hurt me now memories that used to bring me smiles constantly bring me tears i was such a baby to you you brought me to my knees i cried so much to you just to show you all you did was scorn me for it my first relationship, with you, lasted 5.5 yrs how do i attempt to follow that how were you able to so quickly? nothing seems right since you left, without you i want to say i love you still... but im not allowed to say that either
fooled Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 This was good to do. I imagine when you re-read it you cried a lot. Good. It is owning it and getting it out of your system. Leave the past behind.
Groovy Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 That was a wonderful poem! I think it reminded us all of a relationship we've had and can really feel your words....
niko1999 Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 reminds me of how I was with my ex. That was wonderfully written. Youll be ok, promise. Time heals all wounds. Keep writing though, its a wonderful output. It can make you feel good, help your healing process incredibly. So keep it up
pandnh4 Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 sickofit - your words really spoke to me; i feel the same way and it's noble of you to write what we're all thinking... =) "Its better to be pissed off, than it is to be pissed ON" niko1999 - that quote in your signature is too funny!!! lmao...
Author sick of it Posted February 27, 2006 Author Posted February 27, 2006 "time heals all wounds", This is 9 months later, 5 months since last seeing her, was 2 months NC until she called last week... I took Bendits advice on new years.... "Please get serious about this or 2006 for you is going to be a year to forget. It COULD BE a year for the ages if you take the right steps now to get through this addiction you have by using NO CONTACT." I did all of those things and was feeling much better after a while. but then she called and i had my "would be" 6 yr anniversary on saturday. maybe its just a shiity timing thing....but still. 9 months later and i still feel like that poem. i still dont look at anyone. im lonely but cant imagine being ina relationship yet. I still feel this way. i want to know what im doing wrong.
bendit Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 Hey sick of it...don't beat yourself up for breaking NC. It happened. Just pick yourself up and start over. It happens to most all of us. This time, you have to go the "full on" route and that means sealing all the cracks. 2006 is not lost! If you start now, and take it one day at a time, you can make 2006 great. Every morning tell yourself that you will be NC for Today. And every evening, mark it off in your column and congratulate yourself you did it. You can do it. It gets easier and easier but Only if you stay full on no contact. All the best. regards
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