flowerfairy142 Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 My boyfriend's sister hates me. We've been going out for 6 years and she's never really liked me. His family adores me, and so does he of course. But now that the possibility of marriage nears (we both graduate college in May and will be ready for the commitment), I'm just afraid that any chance of that happening might be put on hold because of this girl. She says that even though I feel pretty confident that I'll join the family, that things can quickly change, and that she'll leave it at that. I have put so much effort into this relationship with my boyfriend and so has he. We have been childhood friends and going strong for 6 years, and we talk about marriage and our future all the time. His family already calls me family, so everything seems perfect...except for her. I've tried mending things with her, but everything I've done backfires. She just does not want to be mature about the whole situation and apparently is putting her selfish behavior first. I know my boyfriend dislikes the feud between us and of course so does the family. It seems that she will never accept me and I am just afraid that she might actually convince my boyfriend and his family to hate me...because well, one spoiled apple can ruin the whole bunch. Even though that seems unlikely, because they really do like me and have known me since forever and it's already been 6 years...we've all traveled together and we've been through thick and thin together. It was just a recent misunderstanding that really gave this girl a "reason" so to speak to have something against me (basically I went out clubbing with her and later I told everyone that I think she got drunk on me and so apparently that REALLY pissed her off. I know it was wrong on my part to talk about her like that and I regret it whole-heartedly but she just won't let go and does not accept my many apologies). I really am desperate here...I'm asking the advice of complete strangers but I really am trying to get as much help as I can. I think trying to be friends with her is already impossible so I am going to stop attempting it but what really worries me is that SHE will be the one to come between my true happiness with the man of my dreams...and I know he feels the same, even though he told me that "she doesn't control my life". But still...they are a close family and I still feel there's something (HER) that maybe is holding him back from proposing to me (or maybe he's just waiting until our graduation?) I don't know whether I should consider the threats of a 19 year old to be serious or just ignore them. But I am heavily concerned because I don't want something that I've worked so hard for to suddendly fall apart...I don't want to loose my soulmate because of the selfishness of someone else. Any advice is whole-heartedly appreciated!!!!!!!
RubixCube28 Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 I'm sorry to hear whats going on Flower.. But honestly it sounds like you and your bf have a good strong grounded relashionship going.. And you have great comunications with the rest of his family.. I think that she is just young and maybe even a little upset.. If they are such a close nit family that her big bro.. Will be moveing on with his life and marrying you..My advice is be nice to her but don't try to be her buddy at the moment.. Or go out with her alot give her some time and space to absorbe all that's going on lately.. She might just be looking for faults with you because of what I said earler.. Try belive me in time the misunderstanding you too had will fade into memory.. And hopefuly she will learn to except you more.. It dosen't sound like your relashionship is in any danger.. Because of what she thinks at the moment.. He's prob just wateing till the right moment to ask you.. Best of luck to you..
Becoming Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 I agree with Rubix. My H's little sister is 10 years younger, and when we were dating, she was like 12 and doing all this little spiteful stuff that a 12-year-old who didn't want to lose her big brother might do. We laugh about it now and have a great relationship. You're just experiencing a more subtle 19-year-old form of the same thing. Give her a wide berth. Be polite and warm, but don't attempt chummy until after you're married.
Author flowerfairy142 Posted February 26, 2006 Author Posted February 26, 2006 Thanks for the advice! Keep them coming they're really helping!! So I should just live life as normal...and not really worry about her threats? I know she can't possibly do anything to destroy my bond...especially since he told me "she doesn't control my life" and besides, she's dating a guy that the FAMILY does not accept 100%. I know I can act like a bitch sometimes but I don't know how else to act if someone acts like a bitch to me. I seriously hope that my boyfriend's right when he says it's just all silly and we're acting like we're in 2nd grade...and that time will mend things. I think I just won't take his advice of trying to be her friend (I recently sent her an email trying to explain things and apologize but I think I stirred the fire more...she threatened me by saying that not to be so confident about joining the family because things can quickly change). Thats basically what worries me.
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