lindya Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 I really don't know what to do, but I think that I'm falling in love with him, and I can't stop it. I also think that it’s a good thing sometimes, and I look forward to seeing him all the time. I went with him to have coffee, and we seemed to 'click'... You've got a schoolgirl crush. If you were as mature as you think you are, you'd know that. FFS, I had a huge crush on my doctor when I was 14 - and you bet, the old ego-monster used to wink flirtatiously at me whenever I had an appointment with him. Even at 14, I knew I just had a crush...and didn't take it seriously. God help you, if at the age of 17 you don't know what a good old fashioned crush is Here's a clue to help you out. A crush is something that passes the time of day, and that you don't seriously contemplate acting on.
scarletletter Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 I do believe that you have received enough responses that you know the advise given is not to go forward with any of your feelings. Take it from older and wiser people who know...DON'T DO IT. I have a feeling this man is just humoring you or is just being kind. You could end up in a very embarrasing situation. I'm sure he just thinks of you as a young lady that works for him occasionally. There is a huge difference between having sexual feelings for someone and just being overly friendly.
helena abadi Posted February 28, 2006 Posted February 28, 2006 outcast, teacooler and lindya ... that sums it up v well. she should be off to get a life, get over it, study exams, whatever. outcast made a good point - that often people want what they want and don't give a damn about moral decency. maybe he's a sleaze who has done this before. the fact that's he's a doctor means nothing - it's just a respectable title that assumes trust, honesty, respect. at 17, many girls are not exactly worldly wise enough to label sleaze v quickly.
Author Woo Posted March 5, 2006 Author Posted March 5, 2006 Thank You soo much for your comments. I am getting your opinions into my head, but i resent the comment made by helena abadi, thanks for not helping. Why would anyone make up somthing like this. Have you even read my first post, with detail and depth of my feelings. I really do see your points, and you have slapped the sense into me, and I thank you for that. I think he is just being extremly friendly, its in his nature to be. I will remain friends with him definatly, but i wont let my imagination get carried away with me. Thanks Again
fraidycat Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 Well..if you were quite mature for your age..why would you be trying to have an affair with a MM? But don't take it personal honey- you could be 50 and trying to do so would still make you rather immature.
Author Woo Posted May 6, 2006 Author Posted May 6, 2006 It's not the fact that I want to have a crush, or "fall for" a MM, I was just how it was. I've become closer to him, but don't worry ... not in a sexual kind of way. We have a laugh, and I still like him, but not love him. I was abviously blowing everything out of proportion, I suppose silly immuture 17 year olds do that... huh? Any way, I really do appreciate your comments, and respect every opinion, even the overly harsh ones that were uncalled for, but I prepared myself for a moral slander before I posted on here. Yes, I am quite mature, and looking back at my actions, and his, I think that I just acted in the heat of the moment, and this post was the result of it... but im still glad that I have posted this, becuase it really has slapped the sense into me... Thanks All
whichwayisup Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Just don't ever spend one on one time with him, and put yourself in a situation where something "could" happen. A crush is innocent and light - But it seems you're developing feelings for him...Be careful, k. And always remember, he has a wife. I'm glad you posting here and getting advice has opened your eyes enough to see that it's just not worth getting involved.
stillhere Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 My MM is 13 years older than me, and i'm 28. Some of my friends tell me that he's too old. You have a choice in this situation, stay away from him. If you read many of the other posts and listen to what all of us are going through, it's not somewhere you want to be. I agree, find someone your own age and don't get involved with this guy.
Author Woo Posted May 6, 2006 Author Posted May 6, 2006 I really would like to know what the positive opinions are too, I've had alot of negative points, but I would like to hear the other side, not that it would persuade me, but I'm just curious to what good things could (but won't) come out of this...
erika2610 Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 I really would like to know what the positive opinions are too, I've had alot of negative points, but I would like to hear the other side, not that it would persuade me, but I'm just curious to what good things could (but won't) come out of this... I didn't really have anything good come out of mine. No, I can't really say that. I learned a lesson.. not to do it again. He also made me feel special. he made me realize what a good person I am.. and made me realize that I am still attractive. But it doesn't matter.. I still wouldn't do it again, if I knew now, what I knew then. (Ooo.. worked Rod Stewart song in there:))
scarletletter Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 I'm afraid that you are going to make a fool of yourself. Many older men treat young girls this way. It's sort of flirting and sort of cute, but please don't misinterpret this for something that it is not. If he is truly interested in you in a sexual way, he is a sick man. You are under 18, he is 50 years old. Your mother works for him. I have seen this before, just take it for what it is. You have a crush on him and he is just antagonizing you by flirting...that is how men are. You really need to forget all about this crazy situation before you end up crazy. It sounds to me as if he is just being an older man who enjoys looking at young girls. Forget about it and move on!!!! FAST!
ImWithHim Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Agree with the others...I highly doubt he has sexual feelings for you and if you keep thinking he does, he's going to figure it out sooner or later. At 50, he's more than experienced enough to notice the signs of a girl who has a crush on him. Don't embarrass yourself. Stay away from him. In answer to your most recent question, absolutely nothing good can come of this. Not one little thing.
scarletletter Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 I really would like to know what the positive opinions are too, I've had alot of negative points, but I would like to hear the other side, not that it would persuade me, but I'm just curious to what good things could (but won't) come out of this... I didn't really answer this question with my last post. There are alot of experienced women in this forum and believe me, we would not steer you wrong. There is absolutely, positively nothing good or positive that can come from this. I hate to be so negative but you must listen to words of experience. The women and men here know...we have all been there. Listen and take our advice. There is really nothing that I or anyone else could say more strongly than we already have.
RealityCheck Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 ScarletLetter.... She is sooooo RIGHT! There is absolutely NOTHING positive that comes out of an A. I do believe if each of us "OW" could turn back time, WE WOULD IN A HEART BEAT! It is unlike any relationship! You know why? Because we give our heart and souls into the MM and receive NOTHING BACK! Truth is, if your in it for sex! FORGET IT! That's what got me into the A. If your in it for emotional support! FORGET IT! It's not going to happen!!! Honestly, to really enjoy and feel fullfilled, a person would have to be dead!! It is the darkest place you will ever enter! You know why? Because it takes your mind and twists it like a labotomy and takes your heart and soul outside of faith and hope that you once knew was SAFE!
Vega Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Maturity doesn't automatically come with age - it comes with experience. You don't have enough life experience yet to really see the big picture. He does (or should) have enough experience to know better and he is the one acting totally immature. Don't let him use you as a temporary escape from his own problems. You will be the one hurt most emotionally and your family and his will be hurt too. Your feelings are real - I'm not belittling that. But understanding that and remembering these feelings will help you to understand yourself better as you do experience more in life.
PandorasBox Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Yeah, that is a valid point, but what if it was sooo secret that no one knew. I have fallen for him, so im past that stage, and I think that he may be thinking about it... i know that I certinly am I did not read all the replies so sorry if I mention something that has already been said. You're looking for a father figure in your life, that you lacked growing up it seems. In most states, depending on where you live, if you're under the age of 18, and he is as old as he is, then if you all have a sexaul relationship, its called stagatory rape. You're wanting to feel loved and accepted, but going about it the wrong way. He will use you, and not leave his wife/family for you. I hope you deveolp some respect for yourself, and date someone around your age, and not married or attached. You say you're mature for your age, but hun that dosesn't sound mature. I'm not trying to be ugly I'm just saying its probably best not to waste your time and energy on this situation. Good luck to you.
ImWithHim Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 She is sooooo RIGHT! There is absolutely NOTHING positive that comes out of an A. Just to clarify, that is absolutely NOT what I said. I said nothing good can come of THIS affair, though I doubt there would ever be one in the first place because I think this girl is completely misunderstanding what he is intending. She's 17, he's 50, he's her mom's boss, nothing good would come of that.
Guest Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Oh my God, don't do it! Don't do it! DON'T DO IT! I did it once with a 41 year old co-worker of mine (I'm 25). He actually left his wife, moved in with me, and then eventually went back to his wife. But not before he got me pregnant. Now he hates me and wants nothing to do with his baby. His wife is divorcing him, she has kicked him out of their home and he lives with parents. He wants her back, she wants him out of her life, and he wants me dead. For awhile he was calling and threatening my life, my pregnancy and my job. HR at work had to get involved and we are not allowed to contact each other and he cannot come into the office building in which I work. He claims the child isn't his so I will be going through a nasty paternity/child support battle in the near future. The bottom line is this: when men become dissatisfied in their marriages they see young women like us as their escape. But once they get in too deep, reality sets in and they realize their mistake. Then suddenly, their wife is the best thing that ever happened to them and they can't believe they jeopardized their marriage for something so fleeting. I had to learn this the hard way, so hopefully you won't have to. There are so many younger men out there without all the baggage this doctor has. A man who is married can never truly love you because his heart belongs to somewhere else and the life they've created together. I suggest you go to college out of state and forget about this predator....
Guest Posted May 8, 2006 Posted May 8, 2006 completely irrelevant. in any case, you're 17, he's 50 and married to someone who needs his care, and your mother works for him...what seems good about this "relationship" exactly? oh, because you're attracted to him--of course! get over it. you have a lot of growing up to do. do it without ruining someone else's life, not to mention your own. Trust me sweetie, If you ever saw him naked it would scare you. You say his wife has acute arthritis? He probably has some aches and pains also. Don't dream of wasting your fleeting youth and beauty on an old married geezer. There are so many 19, 20 and 21 yr. old guys out there that you could really have fun with. I think most of us when young have had crushes on older men. However, 17 to 50 is a stretch. But trust me, by the time you're 21 and look at him again, you will laugh about it. That's what happened to me when I saw my older crush once I'd grown up. I laughed and thought "what could I have been thinking"? Lucky for me he was man enough to realize I was just a foolish young girl who had a crush and left me alone. He wasn't even married but showed me that respect. He flirted with me also back then just to make me feel good and that's it. Don't take him seriously. He probably has grown kids.
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