Woo Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 My situation is that I'm 17... (Yes, I know young) but I'm quite mature for my age. I have had a thing for my mother’s boss, yes I know... Pretty gross, but I think that he likes me too. He's a doctor, and a MM, and wait for it... He’s 50. Yes I know, again, it’s a massive age difference, but I really don’t think that it’s a hindrance. His wife suffers from acute arthritis, and 'can't get out of bed', but I know someone with the same thing, and probably worse who isn’t waited on hand and foot by her husband. He basically does everything that she wants him to do, and doesn't get a lot from her in the sex department, but the ironic thing is that when he wants to go for dinner with his GP practice, she wont go, and he is left to go on his own. When the week later she goes to the same place with her book club. What’s up with that? Anyway, he’s a fabulous guy, and the funniest person alive, and sends me sort of confusing messages. Young and naive, yes I know, I've heard these things off my friends, but they don’t know what its like to be in a MM situation, like you guys. When he goes past me he has to touch my back, or when I work there occasionally, he looks at me when I'm working, and you know the feeling that you get when you know that there’s someone looking at you, I look at him, and he quickly starts doing his work again, (it quite sweet actually). Then from across the room, when he knows no ones watching he gives me a wink, and not the sort of wink to say "hey how are you" is a more meaningful, and deep wink. I really don't know what to do, but I think that I'm falling in love with him, and I can't stop it. I also think that it’s a good thing sometimes, and I look forward to seeing him all the time. I went with him to have coffee, and we seemed to 'click'...
whichwayisup Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 You have an intense crush on your mom's boss. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE - He is NOT going to jeopardize his career and wife to have a little fling with you. He may find you attractive and cute, but that is all. Plus, could you imagine your MOM's reaction??? Come on, look at the whole picture here. Think you need to find a single guy, closer to your age. Enjoy the crush as it is, but don't make a big stupid mistake and fall for this guy. He isn't going to leave his wife, and considering too, most of all this guy is your mom's boss, it would be a horrible outcome for everybody if something did happen and you got caught. Think about the other people involved here and how many will be affected by it.
Author Woo Posted February 26, 2006 Author Posted February 26, 2006 Yeah, that is a valid point, but what if it was sooo secret that no one knew. I have fallen for him, so im past that stage, and I think that he may be thinking about it... i know that I certinly am
Outcast Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 Where have people gotten the idea that they are entitled to have everything they want, including other people' spouses? Once upon a time, there was the idea of being a decent human which meant keeping your mitts off other people's loved ones.
erika2610 Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 Yeah, that is a valid point, but what if it was sooo secret that no one knew. I have fallen for him, so im past that stage, and I think that he may be thinking about it... i know that I certinly am A big problem for me is that he's old enough to be your dad In alot of states, he could get arrested for statuatory rape. Don't do it. It's a crush. That's all. All you know about his Wife is what he's told you. Probably alot of lies. Go find a boy your own age, who could give you a heck of alot more than he can..
Adunaphel Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 A guy his age, and in his position, who would have an affair with you (considered your age) is a person to literally run away from as fast as possible. A decent guy would be turned off by your age and/or feel that if he had an affair with you he'd be taking advantage of you (no matter how mature or intelligent you are).
Barby Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 I'll spare you of the "it's so wrong what are you thinking speech (despite what I truly think)" and get to the....... What do you hope to gain from this question? Do you believe he'll leave his wife for you in time? Do you just expect a sexual fling? I'm curious as to how realistic your expectations are.......maybe this will help us advise you better.
Dinnj1 Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 I went with him to have coffee, and we seemed to 'click'... YOU! Need to go to church.
Becoming Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 Where have people gotten the idea that they are entitled to have everything they want, including other people' spouses? Once upon a time, there was the idea of being a decent human which meant keeping your mitts off other people's loved ones. AMEN! Just so we get this straight: if you want a substitute father-figure who's also married to a wife who's semi-invalid, like, whatever, right? Love is a decision, not a hormonal rush. There is nothing but trouble when you confuse the two.
No Stress Lady Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 My situation is that I'm 17... (Yes, I know young) but I'm quite mature for my age. I have had a thing for my mother’s boss, yes I know... Pretty gross, but I think that he likes me too. He's a doctor, and a MM, and wait for it... He’s 50. Yes I know, again, it’s a massive age difference, but I really don’t think that it’s a hindrance. His wife suffers from acute arthritis, and 'can't get out of bed', but I know someone with the same thing, and probably worse who isn’t waited on hand and foot by her husband. He basically does everything that she wants him to do, and doesn't get a lot from her in the sex department, but the ironic thing is that when he wants to go for dinner with his GP practice, she wont go, and he is left to go on his own. When the week later she goes to the same place with her book club. What’s up with that? Anyway, he’s a fabulous guy, and the funniest person alive, and sends me sort of confusing messages. Young and naive, yes I know, I've heard these things off my friends, but they don’t know what its like to be in a MM situation, like you guys. When he goes past me he has to touch my back, or when I work there occasionally, he looks at me when I'm working, and you know the feeling that you get when you know that there’s someone looking at you, I look at him, and he quickly starts doing his work again, (it quite sweet actually). Then from across the room, when he knows no ones watching he gives me a wink, and not the sort of wink to say "hey how are you" is a more meaningful, and deep wink. I really don't know what to do, but I think that I'm falling in love with him, and I can't stop it. I also think that it’s a good thing sometimes, and I look forward to seeing him all the time. I went with him to have coffee, and we seemed to 'click'... How exactly do you know so much about his sex life???? He's not a fabulous guy if he's married and hitting on a 17 year old girl who is the DAUGHTER of his employee. At the same time I also wonder if you may be overblowing and misinterpreting the way he treats you - maybe you are quite inexperienced in relationships - I certainly was at your age. If so you should be very careful and stay well away from any involvement with him. Try to find someone your own age to date. You DO have a choice and you CAN stop this - apart from being married he is way, way, way too old for you You are heading for a very messy, painful and humiliating time if you persist with this man.......stay away for your own sake.
For You I Will Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 You should ask yourself some questions before anything. "What do you expect from this man?" Will you feel proud standing next to him at the end of the day? I feel he is so much older than you, regardless how mature you are. Doesn't he feel strange?? I know the feeling of wanting that person so badly...even though it is wrong... it sucks, it really does.
Sami_D Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 LOL... Never heard all this before. You're not falling in love with him. And if you do, it would be a nightmare. Go away and study for some exams.
whichwayisup Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 Yeah, that is a valid point, but what if it was sooo secret that no one knew. I have fallen for him, so im past that stage, and I think that he may be thinking about it... i know that I certinly am Even if he is thinking about it, IT isn't cool to do. You've not commented on ANY of the advice given to you...Most of all how unprofessional it would be if those lines were crossed, your MOM and his WIFE. Do any of those factors even float into your head? If not, think. A crush is a crush - Sexual attraction is sexual attraction. Combind the two and sometimes it feels like love. It isn't.
Guest3 Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 "He is NOT going to jeopardize his career and wife to have a little fling with you. " It happens ALL the time. Hell, some doctors have even RAPED their patients!
Outcast Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 It happens ALL the time. Hell, some doctors have even RAPED their patients! Fantastic! Well then, it's totally fine for her to have the affair! :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
CeeJayXXX Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 Although there is nothing wrong with an "age gap" relation (as I am in one)..... I don't think at 17 (regardless of maturity level) you can really focus on an actual relationship of any kind. At 17, you should not be "wanting" a MM....(or at any age,really)....but I think for the maturity you speak of you are not thinking of who all is involved.... It's not just you and him..... Those of us involved with MM (feel free to correct me for speaking for all) more than likely weren't "looking" for all the hints and clues to catch us a man with an already established ring on his finger. It is something that happened - most I believe are not proud of it - but are trying to solve the issues we have with MM to try to improve our life. I think you are walking into a situation that is going to destroy YOU in the long run....I think you may be taking his words or actions the wrong way. Once again, I think at 17 you have so much more to look forward to in life and this would really set you back .... more than you can ever realize. How many serious relationships have you had to be able to understand the level of a doctor (and a MM at that). (Said with respect.)
AJS Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 You are too young to even think about an A sweetie. Don't go there, you are only being USED if you do. NO 50 yr old MAN is going to leave his WIFE for a child. Trust me, he will have his fun, and when you start wanting him full time, he will run from you like you are a snake! Don't do this to yourself. Think better of yourself than this...you are so young, do it right!
helena abadi Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 get a life. this sounds close to pedophilia. is this thread even real, or is someone just jerking us around?
erika2610 Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 get a life. this sounds close to pedophilia. is this thread even real, or is someone just jerking us around? Now how was that helpful at all?
helena abadi Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 oh yes, it was. don't give this oxygen. if it is for real, the girl knows by now this is totally wrong.
erika2610 Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 oh yes, it was. don't give this oxygen. if it is for real, the girl knows by now this is totally wrong. No, not WAS it helpful? I said HOW was it helpful? Just because posts sound stupid to you.. doesn't mean they're not real. Your little 'get a life' doesn't help anything.. I know you've said that before, and it irked me. You gave no advice whatsoever.. why even post anything? Why not just keep scrolling down past the thread onto the next one?
Outcast Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 this sounds close to pedophilia. Um. It's pedophilia if she's the 50-year-old man posting that he wants to have sex with a child. And in a lot of places, 16 is considered the age of consent. At her age it's about 'sex with a minor' more than 'pedophilia' per se. if it is for real, the girl knows by now this is totally wrong Yes and if you read the aussie-mandy saga, she also didn't care. And yes, it is 'for real' that people nowadays seem to not care whether what they 'want' is right or wrong. Desire trumps all now - including decency and honesty, apparently. The bogus 'freedom of choice' touted by too many people has now been translated to 'freedom to take what you want'. Pretty soon it will be ok to rob people, too, because as long as you 'want' something, it will be ok for you to have it (somehow the rights of the original owners count for nothing in the minds of this sort of folk).
Becoming Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 Which was pretty much the point of Pulp Fiction--a look at the destructiveness of a world with no morals beyond individual desire.
blind_otter Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 Which was pretty much the point of Pulp Fiction--a look at the destructiveness of a world with no morals beyond individual desire. personally i think we already exist in that world. yet are somehow constantly offended that we made it this way. friggin hilarious. adults are like, wow, how did our kids get that way? Helllllooooooo 80s, me generation, consequences are a beyotch. I witnessed it happening as I was growing up with parents a generation behind my contemporaries.
TeaCooler Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 Hell, some doctors have even RAPED their patients! completely irrelevant. in any case, you're 17, he's 50 and married to someone who needs his care, and your mother works for him...what seems good about this "relationship" exactly? oh, because you're attracted to him--of course! get over it. you have a lot of growing up to do. do it without ruining someone else's life, not to mention your own.
Recommended Posts