Ladyehawk Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 I've been married going on 22 years and most of those years have been happy. During the last 5-7 years things have started to go downhill. He thinks everything is fine. Ok here's the scoop. He's an optician and has been in contact with a female patient for about 10 years. She calls him at home to vent. He tells her kids he loves them. He talks to her more than he talks to me. She calls him and even if he's watching tv, he'll talk to her. If I try to talk to him while he's watching tv, I get shushed. He involves her kids in many of the things that he does with our kids. A friend who lives next door said that while I was upstate over the summer he had her over for a b-b-q with her kids and she also said that she saw them going out together w/o the kids. He tells me I'm over-reacting when I get upset about this. She has an SO, but she calls my husband whenever she has a problem. Hubby says he feels sorry for her, because her SO does nothing in the house to help her. Her kids tell me that she, in fact , is the one who does little in the house. I've been to her house, I've seen her SO vacuuming etc. Meanwhile hubby won't even put a bag in garbage at home, and he gets the kids to things that he should be doing. I work a full time job, (we're currently living on my salary), and take care of the house and the kids. I do the laundry, cook every night, and spend a good part of Saturdays cleaning. We haven't been intimate since New Year's Eve. I've gone back and forth whether or not he's cheating with her. But the other day she fell in the subway, and he was the one who went to get her, not her SO. I'm think I'm going to do a little investigating. I think I've been living in denial, I didn't want to know, but as I write this, it's becoming more clear. I'm tired of sharing him. I told him she's using him as a surrogate husband, he says it's not like that, that I'm crazy. So, what am I supposed to think? I want to catch him ! Then, I'll kiss him good-bye. I'm done with this, I'm done with feeling like this! I told him a few years ago that I didn't want her calling him at home that that was family time. He refused to tell her to stop calling him. The funny thing about it is, he thinks I'm cheating !
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