wasted Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 here is my story .. this jan the love my my life broke off with me after 8 months of passionate and deep rooted relationship .. she said there were family obligations and we cudnt continue anymore .. it all happened after we had had a big discussion about her ignoring me and lying to me .. later i realised that she was actually having an affair with someone else .. her so called best friend ( reminds me of a saying " man and women can never be best friends, because there is sex in between " ) so i called her nicely and we met .... she said she was in love with her best friend .. she said she still wanted to be my best friend !! .. i was cool ... said ok .. actually i thought she needed some time to figure out her feelings and get things back .. i expected her to come back to me .. i knew she loved me .. so i gave her time .. been almost two months now .. in this transition .. she behaved almost like my gf .. she wud sometimes tell me to go with her .. share her feelings with me .. gave me miss calls all the time .. and in fact .. she became more attracted to me sexually .. she always wanted a kiss wenever we got chance ( we are co-workers in an office ) .. all was same except that she didnt love me .. and she love that jerk .. wenever he came into picture i wud be treated like a trash can .. even then she dint let me go completely .. she wud still be angry and highly jealous if i talked to other gals in the office .. if some fren called me .. she wud actually try to convince me that there are no women good enough for me in the office .. now .. today she wanted out with me .. i then her new bf called her and she instantly cancelled our date and went with him ... .. and i m again the one to cry .. i dont know wat she wants with me ..
salmagundi Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 You dont know what she wants with you? jeez... Listen. She wants to treat you like absolute garbage because you so obviously want to let her. She has zero respect for you because, and I'm sorry to say this...but...you have no balls. Go get some. When your gf tells you shes having an affair, you dont "call her nicely" (read: grovel) and then sit there and listen to her tell her she loves someone else but is prepared to let you be her friend without ****ing losing it. Seriously. In that situation your role was to say "you did WHAT?, with WHO? OK whatever thats fine, if thats what you want have fun but there's the door, have a nice life." Then you walk away, go NC and keep your dignity (and your balls) intact. THe fact that you rolled over and played dead just tells her you will take just about anything she will dish out to you. So you cant blame her for the way shes treating you. Well...you can...but your letting her. So you have to stop it. Stop being so goddamn passive. Stop thinking you deserve this crap. Stop grovelling. None of this will work. All you are doing is trashhing the last of your self respect. And give up on the idea she loves you. She doesnt. If she loved you, you would be the only one she would be sleeping with right now. If she loved, she would respect you, llike she is not doing right now. She cant anyway, because you are not respecting yourself. Noone who didnt have a serious self-esteem problem would tolerate being in this situation. I'm sorry but its true. So what you need to do is tell her you dont want anything to do with her. And go NC as much as possible, given you work with her. And then reflect serioulsy on why you have allowed your self-respect to be sacrificed like this so this doesnt happen again. good luck and sorry if I sound harsh, but I've been there. I wont go back and you shouldn"t either salmagundi
Dinnj1 Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 i dont know wat she wants with me .. Hmmm, she may want what the rest of us wants from you. Better English and grammar. J/K, but it was very difficult to read. Advice: Cut her @ss off. Dragging you around like a lost puppy dog. Playing you like a fiddle. YOU KNOW she's bragging to all her friends that she's got you wrapped. Don't give her the satisfaction OR the time of day. Move on, have a nice day.
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