Rickymoemoe Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 I'm going to try and keep this short because I hate longs posts. The other night at work I was working with one of the older ladies that is at my job (I work with nearly 100% women) While I was talking with her the girl I "liked" came in to say hi. Now this older lady is a real nut and is always teasing me all night long that I need to get a girl. She said something about that to me again when this girl I liked was with us. The girl I like, proceeded to say something about herself not being the kind of girl I would like( irony don't you think? truthfully i secertly adore her) Now the comment the older woman had made was not really directed towards her but to me. This is the second time that the girl I like has taken a comment about me needing to find a girl and putting herself in as the girl. Does that mean something? Anyhow after the girl I liked visited my workplace I walked with her back to hers. I asked her why she thought I disliked her and she told me I didn't like anything about her. I told her that couldn't be farther from the truth and that I did like her because she is strong and the only person that I work with who is willing to disagree with me ( I work with over a hundred people at work and they all agree with everything I say and do whatever I tell them, I hate it because I'm not the leader type) I asked her out, she turned to me and said, 'Your leaving in a few months, I don't want to start anything". The background to this is that I am leaving to study overseas in about 4 months she is well aware of that. I told her things change and that is something to worry about later. She asked me then if I would not go overseas to study. I told her the truth, the answer is no, I am going overseas to study no matter what. She replied that was good because he wouldn't want a man to give up his dreams for her. I asked her then if she was refusing me, she told me no, but that she had to think about it. Is she thinking about it or just blowing me off without saying no?
konfuzd Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 She's trying to protect her heart. She likes you a lot, and sees you as someone she'd like to spend more than 4 months with. She is probably turning you down, but not because of you, it's to save herself from heartache. Do you really want to get attached to someone right before you move overseas? You are going to meet so many new girls where you go (and you'll be the intriguing foreign guy ) IMO you shouldn't get hung up on this girl, and you shouldn't lead her on either, you're much better off as friends.
Author Rickymoemoe Posted February 26, 2006 Author Posted February 26, 2006 You make some good points, but here is the other side of that problem. I would really like to be friends with this girl also, but she doesn't allow me to get to know her outside of work. I do feel she is putting too much weight on this relationship already with her answers to me. I have no fear of a LDR and I have enough money that she can visit me whenever she wants. I'm not staying overseas for ever either I plan on returning in less then a year. As for the girls overseas yeah I may be the intriging foriegn guy, but I'm not their tickets out of the country they live in, and I don't want to deal with those trust issues if I can avoid it.
Author Rickymoemoe Posted February 26, 2006 Author Posted February 26, 2006 She's trying to protect her heart. She likes you a lot, and sees you as someone she'd like to spend more than 4 months with. She is probably turning you down, but not because of you, it's to save herself from heartache. If this is true how can I turn away from this? I admire and respect this girl and have for some time. It is only recently I've gotten the nerve and ability to ask her out. If she feels that we could have a successful relationship wouldn't I be a fool not to prusue? Do you really want to get attached to someone right before you move overseas? I'm only going to study for a year overseas its not like I'm going and never coming back. She can always come visit me while I am over there anyhow we can have fun exploring the country together You are going to meet so many new girls where you go (and you'll be the intriguing foreign guy ) I'm not going to a country where I have any paticular interest in the women who live there. While they women of this country may share my moral convictions I do find them extremely attractive or desirable. IMO you shouldn't get hung up on this girl, and you shouldn't lead her on either,. As for leading her on I would never do I am quite serious. I do understand however it is difficult to have such a LDR but isn't that becoming the reality of today's global society? you're much better off as friends I agree with you on this factor 100%, but she has not given me the oppurtunity to engage in a friendship. I see her at work and that is it. I would really like to be her friend but she has only become receptive to me now that I have asked her out.
konfuzd Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 LDR are extremely hard, even moreso when it's a new relationship. I realize you know this girl from working with her, but you haven't made that bond with her yet, and it will be tremendously difficult from that far away. I can only tell you what I would feel being in the same situation, but I think her hesitation is warranted. My only advice is to not get to wrapped up in the idea of having a relationship with her. Focus on your studies, but keep in touch with her, and while you are away, if you can maintain a solid friendship she may have a change of heart.
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