When we wake up he seems in a hurry to get home, but get a message saying otherwise

[BlahBlahQueen]

Last night I went out to a bar and an audition with this guy from the Internet (I'm naming him Gary)... he is simply gorgeous and we had a great time and good chemistry... we talked and laughed and got silly on beer... so silly that I screwed up my audition... then we passed out in his car in front of my house and when we wake up he seems in a hurry to get home ... disappointing because I was all caught up in the vibe and itching to spend the day at the beach with him or something... when I said goodbye he did not try to move in for a peck on the mouth, so I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek... I thought, OK, maybe he changed his mind and decided we weren't vibing... so I come inside my house and as I'm totally sweating this adorable creature, I get a message from him saying:

 

Hello, gorgeous...

I just wanted to inform you that I made it home safely...

I had a good time last night...

Thanks again...

We gotta do that some other time...

You definitely ROCK my SOCKS, beautiful...

Anyway, I am OFF to BED... again...

Pssh... I can't believe we CRASHED out in my CAR...

[sMILES]

G'night, BlahBlahQueen.

*kiss*

 

OMG, what do I answer?! I can't think straight or speak coherently when I'm on these trips. Make me a good response please, and please don't make me look like a tool!

[Art_Critic]

I'm confused.. I thought you were considering losing your virginity to your ex ?

[BlahBlahQueen]

What?! You have the wrong chick. I'm twice married and have a kid! LOL... unless you were being sarcastic...

[Tony T]

The better avenue to take is to ignore the message unless he asked for a call back. If you call him back, let him know you enjoyed the evening as well and carry on a conversation from there. Looking too eager will diminish your attractiveness.

 

The guy is obviously interested in you or he wouldn't have called someone he just met to tell them he had gotten home safely...at least, most people wouldn't do that.

[Art_Critic]

Sorry.. My fault for mixing you up..

 

A thousand apologies

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t82903/

 

 

I like what Tony T posted.. the last part is right on.. He is interested in you

[BlahBlahQueen]

OK, second date today. It was nice while it lasted. We took a blanket, a bottle of wine, a book of poetry and some CDs to the beach to catch the sunset hour. It started off on the kind of nervous vibe for both of us, but the beach wilderness was so beautiful and the wine loosened our tongues so that we were talking about philosophy and politics after a half hour. We were starting to feel really comfortable and the evening could have easily ended up being amazing if his mother hadn't called him out of nowhere forcing him to pick his sister up from night school. That sucked a$s, man. Date over. Friday we'll try again.

 

Now for the analysis. Gary has shown himself in small bits and pieces to be very intelligent, but he's very reserved with it - it stems from the general stupidity that is encouraged in this damn city, I know. He's difficult to get talking about "subjects", but when he does, it's brilliant. Like Silent Bob, kinda. Also, last time we went out he commented that he found it especially easy to talk to me, but this time I'm afraid I might have been a less satisfying conversationalist since I kept getting distracted looking at him. He's disarmingly beautiful; I could get lost in his face for days on end. So I'm afraid I kinda sucked. I'm also scared that I'm coming off wrong. I would love to get him to come out of his shell and stop fearing anything but small talk; there's such an intricate world in there that I want to see and know. How do I get him comfortable talking?

 

He's a lot more candid over instant messenger, though. Today's convo after the date read something like the last one, plus apologies over cutting the date short, plans to go out Friday, and a confession that he'd wanted to kiss me really badly but didn't get up the nerve. How cute . Third time's a charm, I suppose.

 

I *really* like him. He's an artsy kid and hopeless romantic like me, and a consummate nice guy. I could probably see myself falling for him soon.

 

Should I raise an eyebrow at the fact that he was "in love" with some other chick a whopping two weeks ago? It's not like he necessarily skips over from one lady to the next, falling in and out of love as he goes along... but it's known he falls hard and fast. And there's the matter that the other chick is his sister's best friend, and they parted ways *tentatively* so as not to put a strain on either of their relationships with his sister. She's there; she'll even visit their house, obviously. I wonder if she's an omnipresence in his mind. That wouldn't bode well for anything between us, methinks... I'm a jealous bytch when it comes to owning the heart of the person I'm seeing. (Probably why I could never be an OW, and thank God for that!)

 

So I guess those are my three questions: How do I get him more comfortable talking about real things, how do I come off right, and am I setting myself up for disappointment with the whole other-chick ordeal or anything else in general? Could I please have someone's take on all this hooplah?

[RecordProducer]

You'll get him to open up to you and chase you if you are a little mysterious and hard to get. Instead of drowning in his eyes, try to say that you're busy next Friday, but perhaps Saturday or Sunday might be convenient for you... As Tony said, you'll be more appealing to him if he can't have you right away, just like he is to you for the same reason... The roles should be reversed!

 

The chick he just broke up with shouldn't be underestimated, guys need time to fall out of love.

 

Are you sure it was his mother calling him last time?

 

By the way, you've been married twice and he dated his high-school sister's friend? Are you older than him?

[BlahBlahQueen]

Nay, we're both 22. He's actually got a few months on me.

 

Yes, it was definitely his mother on the phone. I heard her voice, and his father's too.

 

I'm not sure that this is a game-playing sort of arrangement. We're just not really that "type" of people. Do I really have to play hard-to-get? Is it an absolute must? If it makes you feel any better, I've been rather detached, while he's been downright gushy to me... isn't that enough?

[Lishy]

You are 22 and married twice? Sorry to point to that but I guess it shocked me!

 

Ok be careful here - He has just fallen out of love and you have obviously got hang ups on how to act around this guy - So my advise is to back off and let him do all the chasing - Unless he asks for a reply do not give one and just see how it goes!

 

Please try not to stress over this as you do not even know this guy yet! Get to know him nice and slow and just see how it goes -

 

And of course you MUST keep us update!!!! I can see this being interesting!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Have fun honey!!!!!!!!!!

[BlahBlahQueen]

Yeah, I suppose I'll end up smoking Liz Taylor by the end of my life. I used to believe in love + marriage. Second husband killed that for me.

 

Thanks for beating some sense into me about this guy. I'll do my best.

[RecordProducer]

Ok be careful here - He has just fallen out of love and you have obviously got hang ups on how to act around this guy - So my advise is to back off and let him do all the chasing - Unless he asks for a reply do not give one and just see how it goes!

 

Please try not to stress over this as you do not even know this guy yet! Get to know him nice and slow and just see how it goes -

I think this is very good advice.

 

Wow, I thought me being married twice at age 30 was too much, cuz I look younger but I also have two kids.

You're divorced twice at 22! Isn't life adventurous?

[BlahBlahQueen]

Adventurous. That's an interesting way of putting it.

 

You guys were right. Thanks for pushing me to stay on-guard. I just woke up and came home, logged onto Myspace to find his entire page redecorated as a tribute to his ex, along with a poem he just wrote her. Then he IM's me apologizing for what I'm "about to see," and telling me that he's not over his ex...

 

Gary: well... i'm sure you will not be happy when you see my new web page... my feelings are f***ed right now

Gary: i apologize in advance

Gary: :-(

Gary: i DO like you a lot... but i feel like i am misleading you... i am misleading myself...

Gary: i am definitely NOT over her...

Gary: i hope you will still talk to me...

BlahBlahQueen: it's all good

Gary: i hope so

Gary: i don't wanna stop hangin out with you...

 

Good morning to me. On the road again. I'll be okay in a few days.

[BlossomingMama]

I am sorry that things worked out the way they did. Please be very careful with this "friendship/hanging out thing". Sometimes its an attempt to have ones cake and eat it too.

 

From my own experience I would like to add that being able to community wonderfully in IM or E-mail and being unable to communicate in person can be difficult to overcome. Sometimes the internet gives one a false sense of closeness, and there is a freeing feeling, that often can not be duplicated in person.

 

Good luck.

[BlahBlahQueen]

You nuts? I'm not gonna hang out with him. Screw that guy!

[BlossomingMama]

 

You are obviously a very smart lady!

[filarena]

Geez, stories like that make me half-ashamed to be a guy. Sorry to hear it, BlahBlahQueen. Good on you for knowing enough to walk away from this jerk.

[BlahBlahQueen]

LOOK AT WHAT THAT SON OF A JACKAL WROTE ME JUST NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LAUGHING MY f***ING ASS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Eh...

 

Ugh...

 

How to put this...

 

I am f***ED in the HEAD, but I have decided that I must NOT let you get away...

 

I can't STOP thinkin' about... YOU...

 

I thought for a BIT that it was HER... but I was mistaken...

 

I couldn't STOP thinkin' about you all day...

 

I like the way we... CLICK...

 

So... if you would forgive me... That'd be GREAT...

 

Even if we just stay... FRIENDS...

 

I ENJOY your COMPANY too much to NOT share it anymore...

 

So...

 

[ ] YES

[ ] NO

[ ] MAYBE

 

I hope you had a WONDEFUL day, beautiful...

 

SMOOCH...

 

Gary

[Art_Critic]

[ ] YES

[ ] NO

[ ] MAYBE

 

How old is he ?

[BlahBlahQueen]

How old is he ?

 

LMAO, he's 22. He was joking in that part, trying to be cutesy. I know his sense of humor.

[Art_Critic]

LMAO, he's 22. He was joking in that part, trying to be cutesy. I know his sense of humor.

 

But BBQ it is juvenile not cute.. that is what you do when you are 7 years old

[BlahBlahQueen]

No s***. Gary needs to do a whole lot of growing up, in a whole lot of different ways. I can't even think of a proper answer, can't think of how to phrase "f*** off" in a classy way... so I'm just gonna turn on some Alice in Chains now and fall into Layne Staley's voice. He always understands me. Who needs a man when you've got Layne's ghost, right?

 

Life is too complicated for little old me.

[Art_Critic]

There isn't a proper answer.. Only no reply might send the loudest message

[cal gal]

BBQ-

 

Check all the boxes and send it back to him...

[BlahBlahQueen]

ROFL!!!!!!!!!! :lmao:

[Art_Critic]

How about this....

 

Check the NO box.. that puts you back in power and will have him reeling...

 

He asked..