dnm1010 Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 alright so this is the deal my fiance used to date this crazy girl. they broke up 5 yrs ago and he hates her and doesnt talk to her. the girl is a real B to me too but it doesnt matter cos we dont really care. what does get to us is the fact that we live with his parents and they have pics of him and his ex, family portraits of them with the ex from years ago, pics from high school prom, pics of just her... all over the house. now his mom is very happy they broke up because this girl is insane. seriously. his mom says she was so scared about this woman being mother to her grandchildren. she seems really happy with me so i cant complain. its just she wont remove these pics. the girl comes from an abusive house hold, she is a bad person with bad decisions, sells herself on the internet and lots of things like that.. she is bad news. its really embaracing to me because im not in any of the pictures. weve been planning our wedding for a while with full support, even a slight push from his mom, she wants to have wedding pictures taken and put on the wall but we want to replace those old pics of his ex with more updated family pictures. it might sound like a silly issue but its just a little rude if you ask me. his mom still talks to this girl all the time, invites her over even though no one else here will; talk to her. when his mom talks to my mom all she used to do is tell her about his ex and it was SO wierd, but he told his mom to stop that and so the talk about his ex has decreased.
Art_Critic Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 It is rude of YOU to ask his Mom to remove the photos. That is her house.. her photos and her past that she is putting on HER walls.. What you need to do is give her photos of you guys to put on her walls as well.. That way you and he are part of her past. My sister-inlaw got upset at my mother that she had a picture of his first wife with the family in her guest room wall.. She asked my Mom to take it down and my Mom politely told her NO.. My Mom told her that she was part of her family during that time and she believes it has a place on her walls.. What my Mom did do was make sure that pics of his new wife were placed thruout the house as time went on.. it was never an issue after that.. You need to remember that everybody has a past and the past reflects in peoples lives differently..
Author dnm1010 Posted February 25, 2006 Author Posted February 25, 2006 actually it isnt her house it is his house too, and i live here too
whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 Great advice A_C. I agree with him 100%.
Author dnm1010 Posted February 25, 2006 Author Posted February 25, 2006 she wont have new pictures taken either, which is part of the issue
whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 Sorry, he lives with her at her house, or she lives with him at HIS house? Either way I liked A_C's suggestions on how to handle it. That way you don't come off as jealous or rude. You take the high road and just know the past doesn't matter.
Art_Critic Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 she wont have new pictures taken either, which is part of the issue Then you need to have the pictures taken yourself and give them to her.
Author dnm1010 Posted February 25, 2006 Author Posted February 25, 2006 well the past isnt the past if this girl keeps coming over all the time its an issue of respect. my parents dont have pics of my ex up on the walls, they did before but when we broke up they took it down. its a common act of courtesy... its not like they were married and have children. his mom believes this is just as much his house (and mine) as it is hers. we get to make choices regarding the house. we take care of the house. the best asnwer is for us to move out, which we will. but this is an issue of disrespect.
Art_Critic Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 If she believes that the house is yours as much as hers tehn remove the pictures.. It isn't about disrespect.. it isn't disrespectful to have your past in photos at home.. Everyone handles theses type of things differently.. some remove the past and put them in boxes and some don't.. If you are old enough to gett married then your are old enough to break out on your own and get your own house.. that way you can decorate it the way you would like.. Take some pictures of you guys together and have them framed and give them to her..
whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 I still don't understand this part. You both are living at HER house but are paying bills and helping out? Or she is with her son in his house? OK the girl coming by - Your fiancee should tell his mom to stop inviting her over. Enough already since you two are getting married. Talk to you fiancee about this stuff and let him handle his mom.
Art_Critic Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 Your fiancee should tell his mom to stop inviting her over. WWIU is right on target here.. Sorry I forgot to mention it.. He needs to sit his Mom down and explain to her how it makes you feel..
Author dnm1010 Posted February 25, 2006 Author Posted February 25, 2006 yeah hes working on it. were not trying to turn this into a fight or anything.. i just was a bit frustrated and needed to vent lol thanks everyone for listening and for your responses
Author dnm1010 Posted February 25, 2006 Author Posted February 25, 2006 he tried to explain it .. its not just me, this bothers him too
MrsHellFire Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 "the girl comes from an abusive house hold, she is a bad person with bad decisions, sells herself on the internet and lots of things like that.. she is bad news. " Unfortunately, she sounds like she has been through hell if she came from an abusive household. She needs help. That does not make her a bad person... she's just screwed up from being subjected to BAD PEOPLE.
MrsHellFire Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 "now his mom is very happy they broke up because this girl is insane. " If that's true, then why is she still inviting her over???
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