I found out my boyfriend is not "clean" and he told me he was. How do I approach him?

[SurfGirl42]

I seem to have found myself in a very awkward situation. I am 25 and the guy that I have been seeing for about 3 months now is 29. We have a great relationship, he makes me happy, and he has even told me that I am the woman he wants to marry (the feeling is mutual). I'm happier then I have ever been before.

 

The other morning I was at his place after he had gone to work and I was still in bed. I needed a Kleenex and I knew he had some in the nightstand as he had gotten some for me from there before. I reached under a white paper bag to get the kleenex and when I did the bag fell on it's side and the contents fell out. I feel the need to clarify that I was NOT snooping (although I know the situation looks shady). What concerned me was that the contents of the bag included 4 condoms and a container of cream used to treat genital warts. It was a prescription dated from 12/04. I put it all back and now I don't know how to handle this.

 

Before he and I became intimate we had a discussion about our sexual health and he informed me that he was clean and healthy, as am I. This fact in addition to us both agreeing to be exclusive and monogamous, we decided to not use condoms (I am on birth control).

 

Is it possible he has been cured and no longer has it? I was under the impression that this STD was a permanent thing.

 

 

What do I do now? How do I approach him?

[RubixCube28]

In such a sceary and sexualy dangerious world why on earth would you not wanna use condoms.. that's kinda bad sorry to say not to mention birth control isent always 100% foul proof..Any ways I'n not really sure but I was always under the impression.. most stds are only treatable and never can be fully cured you really need to sit him down and talk to him about it and then bouth of you see a doctor before any more bed fun...

[MrsHellFire]

Human Papillomavirus is the virus that causes genital warts. And it is not curable AT ALL, only "treatable". AND HPV gives YOU A HIGHER RISK OF GETTING CERVICAL CANCER. Only chance for protection is a CONDOM!

 

The fact that he didn't tell you this, shows that his needs are higher priority than respect for you and your health. Disgusting.. sorry, just my opinion.

And some people carry the virus, never show any noticeable symptoms, but are capable of infecting others. So If I were you, I'd get an STD test PRONTO, use protection and talk to him about it.

 

BTW, you should NEVER take a man's "WORD" for it that he is CLEAN! You want proof from a recent std test before you start having sex UNPROTECTED. If this guy lies to you about something like this, how can you think he truly loves you? How could he put you at risk?

 

Some info about it.. " If you decide to get treatment, it is important to remember that treatment of genital warts does not always prevent transmission of the virus"

"Because even with treatment and the use of condoms it is possible to transmit the HPV virus, you need to tell all partners before you have sex. " "

If you have been infected with HPV, you will probably carry the virus for the rest of your life. You can spread the virus any time you have visible warts. You can possibly spread the virus even when you have no detectable warts. However, living with HPV and genital warts is manageable. "

[TeaCooler]

Human Papillomavirus is the virus that causes genital warts. And it is not curable AT ALL, only "treatable". AND HPV gives YOU A HIGHER RISK OF GETTING CERVICAL CANCER.

 

 

i had hpv, but never had warts; i have the cervical-cancer causing kind. i had a colposcopy and go for routine paps every four months and have for a few years now.

 

the body can rid itself of the virus on it's own. it may take 2 years or longer (or never) but yes, it can.

 

people get their std's confused i think.

 

as i said in the same thread in a different section, just because it can go away doesn't mean you want it in the first place.

[MrsHellFire]

The only thing you can do, I read months ago about a vaccine that prevents you from getting HPV.. I'd look it up and I would never trust that man again. Who knows if he has anything else.

[MrsHellFire]

"If you have been infected with HPV, you will probably carry the virus for the rest of your life. "...

 

That's not very encouraging..

[Tony T]

See your doctor immediately and get checked for STDs. Let your physician know the situation. See what the incubation period is for various STDs...you may have to be tested again later.

 

Stay on top of this until you are sure you don't have anything. Of course, that won't mean that your guy is disease free, it'll mean you just didn't get anything from him...yet.

 

My advice is to insist that he get checked by a doctor for STDs while you are in the waiting room and that both of you see the doctor after the exam to hear his findings. And let him be welcome to your doctor's office to do the same. In this way, you never have to tell him you saw anything. Just tell him you want to be very cautious for both of you.