MM gives ring for V day...not impressed.

[9Lives]

My mm came over on Valentines day at 5am for a hour. We did our lovemaking routine and then he gave me a little diamond ring. I acted like I really liked it but it was not all that to me. It was small and I really did not like it. He asked me a couple of days ago why I did not have it on....I said I need to get it sized. I know the ring was not a commitment ring or anything but I guess I should have been more grateful. I DONT LIKE LITTLE DIAMONDS. ......I know I am a mess

[Elyssa]

So if it had been a 2ct diamond it would've been ok?

 

.....

 

What is really bothering you, that he did not take a second mortgage to buy you a ring or that he gave you a ring period?

[newbby]

i have to say, i suspect it is a roundabout way of asking "what does this mean?", a question most of us fear to ask. if this is the case, the question is, why do we fear to ask?

[Sami_D]

My mm came over on Valentines day at 5am for a hour. We did our lovemaking routine and then he gave me a little diamond ring. I acted like I really liked it but it was not all that to me. It was small and I really did not like it. He asked me a couple of days ago why I did not have it on....I said I need to get it sized. I know the ring was not a commitment ring or anything but I guess I should have been more grateful. I DONT LIKE LITTLE DIAMONDS. ......I know I am a mess

 

"lovemaking routine" and telling him you like something you don't...?

 

Sounds like a bundle of laughs

[justagirliegirl]

"lovemaking routine" and telling him you like something you don't...?

 

Sounds like a bundle of laughs

 

Wonder how long these MM would stick around if there was no more sex?

[mopar crazy]

It must really suck living like this. Having to wait until 5 am to get a VD lay and a gift b/c your screwing a MM and that is the only convienant time he could come spend w/ you. I would hate to live like this.

 

And as for the diamond if you really cared and loved your MM you wouldn't care how small the diamond is. My last serious relationship (b4 I met H) I was dating a guy. He bought me a diamond ring and OMGOSH this thing was extremely small, and even the gold band was small. He paid $150 (he gave me the paper work on it). Did I bitch and complain how small the diamond was, even to myself? NO, b/c it was from him and that was all that mattered to me.

 

Sorry if that sounds harsh.

[RecordProducer]

I think what bothers you is the consolation-reward message of the small ring. The "big ring" is for the wife, a small one for you. An hour for you, a life for his wife. Routine love-making for you, Valentine celebration for her.

 

What bothers you also is that you're supposed to feel grateful for the ring (his love) and you actually feel that you're getting very little. He is trying to drag you into commitment with a stupid little ring. The ring says: you're mine now forever as a mistress, I got you a ring.

 

So your feeling of ungratitude is normal.

[loony]

If I were a guy I would throw a fit now at the greediness of women.

[Touche]

How is she greedy? If anything it's the opposite! She's accepting scraps from a man. Doesn't sound greedy to me at all!

[loony]

How is she greedy? If anything it's the opposite! She's accepting scraps from a man. Doesn't sound greedy to me at all!

1. She got the scraps, because she chose to date a MM. Whether he seduced her or whether she just fell for him doesn't matter. If she stays in this situation, it's her choice. What else did you expect when you became a OW? That you would inherit the family jewels?

 

2. Apart from this, I simply find women who complain that their diamond is too small to be quite spoiled. Be glad you got a ring for Valentine's day, because a lot of other women in stable relationships didn't get anything. Be glad that it has diamonds on it, because a lot of other rings were very plain.

 

3. It's just a present for Valentine's day, it's neither an engagement ring nor a wedding ring. And then I still find it usually ridiculous how many women complain about their ring.

[whichwayisup]

Give the ring back. This ring means - YOU are part of my life but you're still second.

 

Ask yourself this. If you met someone else and started casually dating him, don't you think your MM would flip out? He'd probably say, "I gave you a ring! That means something!!" He wants YOU to commit to HIM, but he won't commit to YOU. He is still married, he still has his wife. That ring is meant to KEEP you around, not a committment. Forget what kind of ring it was, that means s*** right to tell you the truth.

 

OPEN your eyes, take a step back and see the whole picture here.

[Touche]

1. She got the scraps, because she chose to date a MM. Whether he seduced her or whether she just fell for him doesn't matter. If she stays in this situation, it's her choice. What else did you expect when you became a OW? That you would inherit the family jewels?

 

2. Apart from this, I simply find women who complain that their diamond is too small to be quite spoiled. Be glad you got a ring for Valentine's day, because a lot of other women in stable relationships didn't get anything. Be glad that it has diamonds on it, because a lot of other rings were very plain.

 

3. It's just a present for Valentine's day, it's neither an engagement ring nor a wedding ring. And then I still find it usually ridiculous how many women complain about their ring.

 

We agree. The size of the ring is NOT the issue. It's the fact that she's accepting scraps in more important ways. As far as I'm concerned the ring is meaningless. The size of it though IS sort of symbolic of what she's getting from him where it truly counts.

[loony]

Let's all read this post again. She is not complaining that she is just getting scraps from him and she is not complaining about the inherent symbolism of the ring. She is complaining that the diamonds on the ring are too small. In response to this I think she is ungrateful.

[Touche]

Let's all read this post again. She is not complaining that she is just getting scraps from him and she is not complaining about the inherent symbolism of the ring. She is complaining that the diamonds on the ring are too small. In response to this I think she is ungrateful.

 

You're reading it YOUR way, and I'm reading it my way. I don't think it's so black and white. I think deep down the size of the ring is NOT at issue with her. That's why I responded the way I did.

 

I guess some of us take things more literally than others when we read a post.

[whichwayisup]

She should be thinking what that ring REPRESENTS and the strings attached rather than the size. It means he HAS her. Another broken promise, filled with hope, but no happy ending...it's his way of making sure he can keep her and his wife to feed his ego and all his needs. Boy, what a generous MM!! Sheesh...

[Sami_D]

She should be thinking what that ring REPRESENTS and the strings attached rather than the size. It means he HAS her.

 

Well evidently in this case it doesn't mean anything of the sort... she's looked at it and gone... not enough! Not every OW is all mushy and sentimental at every little 'crumb' offered.

[whichwayisup]

Uhmm, my comment wasn't supposed to be mushy. I'm meaning it in a more negative way rather than what SHE thinks it could mean, but obviously she's not seeing that side of it at all.

[Sami_D]

Um maybe we're talking about the same thing. There was another recent thread on here about a silver ring, and how the woman took it... and the contrast with this one is evident.

 

This one is interested in the material worth of the ring, the other thread was more about the meaning of it.

[RecordProducer]

She is complaining that the diamonds on the ring are too small. In response to this I think she is ungrateful.

 

1. Too much gratitude makes a woman a whore; a submissive toy to a man who spends something to get "nothing" (cuz pussy isn't spendable, is it?);

 

2. If he makes millions and spent a few hundred bucks on her ring, it shows that he sees her as an unimportant part of his life;

 

3. She has a right to not like the ring and be dissapointed in its value; she didn't show it to him so she was well-mannered.

[scarletletter]

Terribly rude!! If my MM gave me anything at all for v-day I would be so grateful. It is hard living two lives and maybe his wife counts the money that is spent. You should be totally ashamed and be glad that he gave you anything at all. It is the thought that counts and he could have just given you a card.

[9Lives]

I dont have to PRETEND I like anything okay.. If I dont like it....I DONT HAVE TO LIKE IT. What is wrong with you guys? I guess you wanted me to bounce off the wall. I was more excited when he gave me 2500.00 dollars.

[whichwayisup]

I was more excited when he gave me 2500.00 dollars.

 

That's funny!

[Guest]

That's funny!

 

What so funny? He gave me 2500.00 to clean up my credit.....I really like that.

[Guest]

So if it had been a 2ct diamond it would've been ok?

 

.....

 

What is really bothering you, that he did not take a second mortgage to buy you a ring or that he gave you a ring period?

 

 

Sweetheart, I am not in competition with his wife for anything so it was not about that. I just dont like little diamonds.

[Guest]

Wonder how long these MM would stick around if there was no more sex?

 

If HE stop,....I would be piss/ed