Author italyguy Posted February 26, 2006 Author Posted February 26, 2006 Alpha, What makes you say that? Thanks
Ariadne Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 Hi, she was at marty grah, and she was drunk, upset and needed help. She said that she lost her friends and lost her debit card and had no way home... She begged me not to tell her parents and if I would help her. I called a limo company. I had a limo go and pick her up and take her home safely. She told me that she does love me, but doesn't want to be with me right now and wants the next year and a half on her own till she finishes college All of that sounds terrible. You are doing too much for her, she is counting on you like some sort of father, while she doesn't tell her own parents what she's doing. If she loved you she'd want to be nowhere else but with you right now. She is too young and immature to be doing those sort of plans italyguy, unfortunately. You've been divorced... You'll be divorced again with this girl. Ariadne
zarathustra Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 I agree with Alpha. If you love her, leave her alone. You even said yourself you lied about a lot of things to her. Sounds like she knows she's fallen in love with the image you painted to her about yourself. I think anyone her age who can say that she wants to put school first has a good head on her shoulders (she's still young and has a lot of living to do... let her do it).
Mary3 Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 When I was 13 I remember my neighbor and he was 22 and handsome with shiny glossy hair. I remember we would talk alot and one day my hair had been freshy shampood and I went over to see him . I had a crush on him and we ended up sitting on his couch. I remember feelings stirring around ( my first time feeling flutterings in my chest ) He looked like he wanted to kiss me but then my Mom was calling me from across the street ! We could have very well kissed at that very moment as I was mesmorized by this man who was giving me attention and was handsome. My point is twofold : #1 : At 13, your friend could have developed those same funny fluttering feelings for you and you could have acted upon them at any time and so could she. I realize you said you did alot to help her but still I come back to : while I was 13 and your friend was 13 .; Neither of us had much common sense when it came to dealing with an adult male. ( regardless of what you say ) What if he had kissed me ? What if you had kissed her at that age ? Thats why the laws are strict on minors. ( I know you are going to defend what you did but I ask again : She was 13 . You were an adult. You have a duty and responsibility to not do anything to seduce or entice her . I notice she does not talk to you anymore. Why do you think that is so ? You said that the father now wants to take you fishing. But lets look back on it initially. What if you had a 13 year old daughter who was engaging in a friendship with a 24 year old man who was lying about various things. ? Would YOU hire someone ( if you could afford it ) to check into the 24 year old mans history ? Would you be okay with your middle school daughter hanging out with a full grown male who had an unsual attraction to your daughter ? Can you justify all this ? I know you said you did no wrong. But the real point is the potential that something could have gone wrong. What if at 15 or 16 she really started crushing on you and with the feelings you had for her after 2 years do you think you could have turned away from her hugs and various forms of affection had you been in the position ? The real point is that at 13 she is a child. No-one is accusing you of anything but trying to get you to see the potential of something going wrong when an adult hangs out with a child . Get it ?
Author italyguy Posted March 6, 2006 Author Posted March 6, 2006 Mary, I think you need to re-read my original post. i never hung out with herfor 7 years it was email and occasional phone callsi never met her in person until she was 21 and showed up at my door by surprisei think you misunderstand completelyi never had any intentions of ever meeting and never thought we would
josielane Posted March 7, 2006 Posted March 7, 2006 This relationship is unhealthy on so many levels. I realize you don't believe you would have ever met her in person, however, you did maintain a very intense relationship with a child for a very long time. While, I am not saying you had any bad intentions,it is still very unhealthy for a man of 24 to involve himself in any way with a girl of 13. Also, this girl seems to have one severe problem after another, an eating disorder, sleeping around, etc., and she is always running to a man on the internet. No matter how intense your friendship may have been, it was still a screenname to a screenname. I know you feel you love her, but obviously this is a toxic enviornment. This is not too people who care for each other building a normal relationship. This is a young girl using an older man as a father figure/caretaker/problem fixer. And an older man enjoying that supportive role maybe a little too much. You take all that and then you mix in lies, over zealous family members, and obviously a good amount of distance in living situations, and you've got one giant downward spiral. You both need to step away from this relationship and maybe even consider counseling. This is not a healthy way to live.
Mary3 Posted March 7, 2006 Posted March 7, 2006 You said : i never hung out with her for 7 years it was email and occasional phone calls i never met her in person until she was 21 and showed up at my door by surprise i think you misunderstand completely i never had any intentions of ever meeting and never thought we would If all of this is okay then why are you posting here on the internet for some kind of approval from us ? Its not like you are trying to decide which car to buy the BMW or the Escalade... You said " I never hung out with her " but yet you said 7 years ago I met her in a chatroom. You see where thats confusing ? You said " For 7 years it was email and phone calls " But yet you talk of 7 years of doing lots of things for her....You see where thats confusing ? You said " You never met her in person until she was 21 and showed up at your door and you proceed to say that you proposed marraige to her " See what I mean ? For never having intentions : you SEDUCED this child into adulthood and had her knocking on your door. ( Seduction is in many forms not just sexual seduction... ) Why would an adult 24 year old male sit in a chat room for 7 years with a child of 13 years old ? You may explain all you want but you are SCAREY for all kids out there because you are in DENIAL . Secuction begins very calculated to earn the childs trust and then you started doing lots of things for her . CLASSIC PEDOPHILIC BEHAVIOR. So you say you never had those feelings and we are all wrong. How come you asked this child to marry you ?
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