hurtbeyondwords Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 excuse me for my ranting I just need to vent this.. It's been almost 2 months of NC. As everyone does I have my good days and my bad days. Right now my life seems to consist of just bad days. I want to just scream everything out of me. Everything feels fine and then I wake up to a dream of her smiling back at me. Why can't I let her go as she did to me? If we really are not meant to be then why won't my mind let her go?! I went weeks without crying then suddenly I broke down. I am going to the gym now religously, I am eating well, Im going out more; but nothing seems to help. I know time will heal but I also know that I will never be able to lose her from my mind. I am trying to lose the "what ifs" but this seems impossible. I am excited and terified to embrace this new change in my life. I feel like the road in front of me had collapsed and I am left swaying on the edge. Im afraid to jump and let life catch me. I feel lost:(
Pyro Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 Hang in there. I myself have felt loss after a break-up. You are doing so well so far. You have an appetite, you go to the gym to keep busy and you have stuck to NC. Just take it one day at a time. Continue to keep yourself occupied. Thinking about her makes it worse for you, so the important thing is to occupy your mind on something else. Good luck.
fooled Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 From what I've noticed - a lot of people freak out at the 2 month mark. My guess is that the reality really hits then - where you really know you're not getting back together and the relationship is dead. You know what you do to dead things? Have a funeral. Write a goodbye letter to her. Tell her why she's not right for you. Then perform a ritual - burn it, bury it, but have a funeral. Then - when you think of her, see her or hear from her - think of the funeral.
Author hurtbeyondwords Posted February 23, 2006 Author Posted February 23, 2006 thank you for replying. I know that it's only a matter of getting over her but words are much easier that actions. I am having trouble finding a way to vent these feelings. Some things help but nothing seems to suffice. I feel like Im trying to quit heroin locked in a room. can anyone tell me how they vent?
fooled Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 I got through the initial shock and pain by posting here and reading about others in similar situations - and the advice they were given. It's natural to feel the way you do. Vent here.
curly Posted February 24, 2006 Posted February 24, 2006 I understand what you're going through. I'm 3 weeks into a break-up and it's truly heartbreaking. He's never far from my thoughts. Maybe 10 seconds/minute, but.... I know it will get better. However, some posters on LS have some great advice (especially CaliGuy & Fooled) they know what they're talking about. Some others have said that you have to confront the pain. You can't hide from it, exorcise it out, or exercise (pun intended) til you drop. You will think about her. You need to feel the pain, let yourself drown in it. Don't fight it. Let yourself go and feel it, really feel it. Then you'll realize the strength you have gained. Really feeling the pain allows you to realize that it's just that, pain. It will go away. You just have to allow it to heal. I don't mean to pick at the scab, constantly thinking about the pain. Just feel it, and put it to rest. Fighting the pain only allows it to stay with you longer. Just let go all the way to the bottom. Only then can you come back up, even stronger. Oh, and healing is not a straight line from bad to good. It's horrible in the beginning, then it gets a bit better and then the pain seems to come back sometimes even stronger. But then it gets better again. Then pain comes back. It's a constant up and down. But with time the ups get longer and the downs come less. Just don't it fight it too hard. Be gentle with yourself. You're going through a significant trauma. Just like a terrible wound to your body, your heart requires the same TLC. Keep your expectations to a minimum. No one knows how long it will take to get over a heartbreak. Everyone is different. But don't allow yourself to take too long. This is your heart and your timeframe. Don't expect yourself to get over it in the same time period as another lost love or someone else's timeframe. Good luck to you. And keep up no contact. It helps. You will survive this.
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