kjcrimson3 Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 This may be in the wrong forum, so sorry in advance if it's misplaced. Anyhow, I don't get the chance to meet many girls, but when I do, I find myself panicking and getting kind of nervous...anticipating something 'good' to happen. I'm wondering what women (I'm 16, so...girls, for that matter) like to see from guys on a first impression...Naturally, I'm kind of a talkative, goofy, light hearted guy, but I have a hard time seeming calm, carrying the conversation, and 'saying the right thing', so I panick for fear of saying something completely wrong, or making myself look like a fool. I met some attractive girls at a job interview the other day, and we eventually talked...but at first I blushed, lol, and was freakin' intimidated....(off topic, but the conversation went pretty well, in my opinion, but I...never introduced myself. I freaked out. Ugh). So yea...what should my goals and focuses be when first meeting/talking to a new acquaintance? Do I focus the conversation around her life and her interests? Thanks a bunch!
JohnM Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 Theres no need to panic as such. You may get a bit nervous but thats normal, just try and remain calm. Try to be yourself, don't go changing who you are to please others. Your true self sounds nice enough, don't worry about what you say its only a conversation! Most lads are intimidated when talking to girls, especially the attractive ones If you're confident in talking on topics then go with it. If unsure on what you're gonna talk about then just switch positions and think of how you'd respond to that topic - if you think it may be be a bit boring or may not last long conversation wise try to think of another. Now for a copy + paste of what i'm trying to talk about in convos Keep the focus of the conversation about her. People love to talk about themselves, especially about their ambitions and dreams. Always keep good eye contact, but never stare. Never talk about guy stuff (cars, sports, sex, etc.) unless she brings it up. Try to always ask open-ended questions. Avoid topics about politics or relationships. Always keep the conversation upbeat. Hope this helps and good luck John
blind_otter Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 I like a man who can make me laugh. And who has nice eyebrows and that lovely triangle shape. braod shoulders, narrow hips. yum.
Author kjcrimson3 Posted February 23, 2006 Author Posted February 23, 2006 Many thanks, John....I really appreciate the help. One other question: If you're just meeting a girl for the first time, and are somewhat interested in her...when and how would you suggest INTRODUCING yourself...we had this lONG conversation the other day, and somehow...we never officially 'met'. Other thing is, getting their number....would you even suggest me attempting to do it on a first encounter (if that encounter goes well, that is), or is it a no, go, and a 'pray I see her again' situation? Thanks.
Author kjcrimson3 Posted February 23, 2006 Author Posted February 23, 2006 I like a man who can make me laugh. And who has nice eyebrows and that lovely triangle shape. braod shoulders, narrow hips. yum. Eyebrows, huh...cool.
Funnygirl Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 Just try to relax, remember she, whomever she is, goes to the bathroom just like everybody else. It's all about confidence, and anyone who is worthwhile will give you the chance. So when you get the chance, take a deep breath, look her in the eyes- and keep looking in her eyes, it lets her know you might actually be intersted in her.
blind_otter Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 Well I am weird. And so I tend to respond to men who are unique and fascinating to me in some way. The way they hold themselves, strange hobbies or pasttimes. Anything that makes a man look like he has an interesting life and is confident in himself.
Author kjcrimson3 Posted February 23, 2006 Author Posted February 23, 2006 Just try to relax, remember she, whomever she is, goes to the bathroom just like everybody else. It's all about confidence, and anyone who is worthwhile will give you the chance. So when you get the chance, take a deep breath, look her in the eyes- and keep looking in her eyes, it lets her know you might actually be intersted in her. Awesome...thanks. Would looking in her eyes every be deemed fliratious and...overbearing? Im' just trying to figure out what to expect...although, I assume if you are genuinely interested in her, giving her proper eye contact/attention wouldn't be hard...I just get concerned that I'll go overboard and scare her with too much attention, but then I get worried if I have THAT mentality, I'll underplay it and will never be able to look her in the eye...
Author kjcrimson3 Posted February 23, 2006 Author Posted February 23, 2006 Well I am weird. And so I tend to respond to men who are unique and fascinating to me in some way. The way they hold themselves, strange hobbies or pasttimes. Anything that makes a man look like he has an interesting life and is confident in himself. So...when talking about hobbies and interests, don't necessarily be wary or embarassed about your pursuists and all...talk about them passionately....? I sound really corny, don't I? I hate being a teenager.
JohnM Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 If you catch eye contact smile at her sweetly. She may well look away but look back (good sign) on the other hand she'll most probably smile back and thats a great sign (go get in there )
JohnM Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 Well its fine to talk about interests and hobbies just bear in mind if you heard about a girl with some of your hobbies that you consider a bit odd that she'll probably find it the same way too.
Author kjcrimson3 Posted February 23, 2006 Author Posted February 23, 2006 If you catch eye contact smile at her sweetly. She may well look away but look back (good sign) on the other hand she'll most probably smile back and thats a great sign (go get in there ) I often wondered about that...I have the most COINCIDENTAL things happen to me...right when I look at her, she looks at me, and normally she'll (referring to girls in general) look away quickly...if we do make eye contact, do I look away slowly...keep looking, or what? I get so flustered when this happens that I normally jerk my eyes away from them.... The other day, for example, the girl I was sitting next to at the interview would look at me out of the corner of her eye with her head slightly turned, and then when I'd turn and look at her, she'd jerk her eyes away....and I was left confused, lol. One other thing...with girls I'm interested in, and think that they might be interested in me, I feel compelled (for self conscious reasons) to avoid all eye contact with them...I'm guessing that's a bad mentality?
JohnM Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 Thats the thing. The girls looking at you when they don't think you're looking at them are checking you out and are probably interested. When you catch them they look away as they don't want you to know. Its working the same with you, you may look at them or not make the eye contact as you like them but become a bit anxious incase you're caught looking If you make eye contact, keep the contact its all good! And again make a smile to let her know you like her and she may not be as shy and do the usual quick look away.
Author kjcrimson3 Posted February 23, 2006 Author Posted February 23, 2006 Thats the thing. The girls looking at you when they don't think you're looking at them are checking you out and are probably interested. When you catch them they look away as they don't want you to know. Its working the same with you, you may look at them or not make the eye contact as you like them but become a bit anxious incase you're caught looking If you make eye contact, keep the contact its all good! And again make a smile to let her know you like her and she may not be as shy and do the usual quick look away. So...if we do make eye contact at the same time, or if I make eye contact with her, and she notices it...do I maintain it? Because when this happens, I scream to myself inside "stop looking at her you fool!"...and don't want to seem like a desperate guy taking anything he can get, ya know?
JohnM Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 If you like her keep the contact. Its just like a reverse of the situation you have with those girls who when you catch them looking they quickly look away. 'and then when I'd turn and look at her, she'd jerk her eyes away....and I was left confused, lol.' As you say it left you confused. If they make the contact with you and then you look away, it leaves them confused aswell. So if at any point theres eye contact whether it be from them to you or you to them don't be the one to look away. If you have the time throw the ol' smile in to reassure them.
Author kjcrimson3 Posted February 23, 2006 Author Posted February 23, 2006 If you like her keep the contact. Its just like a reverse of the situation you have with those girls who when you catch them looking they quickly look away. 'and then when I'd turn and look at her, she'd jerk her eyes away....and I was left confused, lol.' As you say it left you confused. If they make the contact with you and then you look away, it leaves them confused aswell. So if at any point theres eye contact whether it be from them to you or you to them don't be the one to look away. If you have the time throw the ol' smile in to reassure them. Sounds good...so bottom line (my final question, I swear!) is: If I am interested in someone, don't hide it by looking away and avoiding...is that about right?
JohnM Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 Damn right, if you can catch her eyes its as good a start as any. Don't look away as tempting as it can seem sometimes and try to get that smile in there as it'll help you out. You'll know from her response what your current chances are, a smile back is a sure way to know you've got a chance and should boost your confidence approaching her knowing the fact that you like her is reciprocal.
Author kjcrimson3 Posted February 23, 2006 Author Posted February 23, 2006 John, you're great. Thanks for your help and time.
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