SkeyeBlue Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 Is there contact when the affair ends? My Husband has promised no contact with the OW. Even going as far as quitting his sales job so he doesnt see her anymore. Does No contact work? I read the forums and I read about the MM sending emails, text messages and such. I want to believe my husband is trying, but after reading the OW/OM forum, so I question is there really No Contact after an affair ends?
Chump64 Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 It's very common for the affair partners to hook up again, esp. if it has been a long-term situation. It probably defends on the affair and the consequences, if made known to the spouse. It probably also depends on whether the unfaithful partner really wants to save his / her marriage. If contact resumes, there are ways for you to find out, and it's not that difficult.
mopar crazy Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 Is there contact when the affair ends? My Husband has promised no contact with the OW. Even going as far as quitting his sales job so he doesnt see her anymore. Does No contact work? I read the forums and I read about the MM sending emails, text messages and such. I want to believe my husband is trying, but after reading the OW/OM forum, so I question is there really No Contact after an affair ends? I don't know how well your H liked his sales job and how important it was to him but if it was and he quit to stay away from her that should really say something, shouldn't it? I think NC can work if the spouse really wants to work on the M. If the spouse just can't let the OW/OM go then NC will fail. My H only had contact w/ the exOW at work, but they still had contact and I hated it! We were seperated at the time (but reconciling our M, we lived 100 miles apart). I hated knowing every day he was going to work w/ her. After a few months after the break up she got him fired (long story). I told H b4 he even got fired that I wasn't going to move back there. He never had any intentions of quitting his job but the exOW was trying to find something different.
My_Other_I Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 It only works if he is commited to it and to you. If he uses it just to get you to calm down for a while, than no, it doesn't work. He has to want things to work out.
elmejor Posted February 24, 2006 Posted February 24, 2006 It's very common for the affair partners to hook up again, esp. if it has been a long-term situation. It probably defends on the affair and the consequences, if made known to the spouse. It probably also depends on whether the unfaithful partner really wants to save his / her marriage. If contact resumes, there are ways for you to find out, and it's not that difficult. Think again. For every method you think you can use to "find out" there's a way to thwart it. It's called Counter-Surveillance, my dear. Money spent on GPS/Spy equipment can be much better spent by a BS, in my humble opinion. Where there's a will, there's a way when lovers want to be together, especially if they're very experienced at hiding their affair, again in my humble opinion.
gevoraksix Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 I was the OW. i ended it (for the 100th time )in sept. he was suposed to leave he left for a brief time & went back. He expected me to continue after he screwed me over once again. He has contacted me several times,i always tell him if he leaves get in touch but if not stay away. I will not go backwards ,he seems to think if i did it before Y shouldnt i?? So he calls trys i listen& when he gets pushy sexually i tell him the way things are!! He states hes leaving "in the summer"LOl Yeah ok ,it was almost 5 years i was with him & i would not continue the A. His W does not know about A or Us etc. I hope this helps a bit.
lovernotafighter Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 after the few NC's I've had with my MM I'd say NC doesn't work...at least it hasn't yet for me. I've been with my MM for a year and in fact after each NC we clinged to each other even more...more contact and concessions on both sides.
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