buzzie2 Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 I met a guy on an on line dating site. We seemed to get along really well on email, and after just 4 or 5 days of writing each other on the site, the guy I was writing told me he wanted to meet me. I was excited until he told me that he didn't have a car and wanted me to drive up to see him. We don't live in the same city, he lives 40 minutes away. Well at first I said that was okay and that I'd drive up to see him on Saturday after my shift af work ended. He wrote back and said he would write me later on in the week to tell me where he wanted to meet. Well I've been thinking the last two days about this, and my gut feeling is telling me to cancel. It's kind of scary to drive all that way to meet a guy that I've never met. I don't really know that much about him either, as we have only been writing for a couple of days. It doesnt sit with me very well that he is expecting me to come up all that way. I think if he was really into me he would find a way to come up here to see me. I have another friend who met a guy on one of these sights and she said he flew all the way up from Florida just to see her. So anyways, I sent him an email just now. I said " Hi (name), I've been thinking a lot about our arrangement on Saturday of me driving up to see you, and I'm not very comfortable with it. I'd be more comfortable meeting you in (my town).I'm still interested in meeting you, so when you're able to come down, I'll meet with you. Do you think I did the right thing? Or do you think he's never going to want to speak to me again>
TeaCooler Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 i think if you're uncomfortable at all, you will still be ill at ease even if he comes to you. think of the possiblity of this becoming a successful relationship (maybe a little unlikely) and way it against the odds of it being worth your discomfort and any risk involved. put off meeting him until you feel differently. if he gets mad...well, you don't want to be with anyone who doesn't understand that not everyone in this world is ready and excited to meet strangers after 4 or 5 days.
SuperMonk Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 This is how I do things with a lady I'm really fancying if she lives more than half an hour (but less than an hour) - I make an effort the first couple of dates to go all the way out there. That's how it is girls, if a guy don't put his neck out the first couple of interactions or even dates, something is up. However, after that I'd like some effort on her part. As of right now what you did was right, I wouldn't have used the words "uncomfortable" cause it'll tell the dude "I don't like you" Sometimes you gotta think like men if you want to do some chasing of your own such as "hey i know this place where we can hang out and it's at this location" (such as halfway or at least not that 40 min away)
jerbear Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 If you feel uncomfortable picking him up, it is probably a good vibe. I personally trust a woman's intuition and I'm being a guy. I would go with supermonk, on meeitng half way that is near a train stop, bus ride, so he can get there by himself. Depending on some circumstances, a guy without a mode of transportation is a turnoff. A guy should be picking you up at a location you feel safe in.
luvtoto Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 This is how I do things with a lady I'm really fancying if she lives more than half an hour (but less than an hour) - I make an effort the first couple of dates to go all the way out there. That's how it is girls, if a guy don't put his neck out the first couple of interactions or even dates, something is up. However, after that I'd like some effort on her part. As of right now what you did was right, I wouldn't have used the words "uncomfortable" cause it'll tell the dude "I don't like you" Sometimes you gotta think like men if you want to do some chasing of your own such as "hey i know this place where we can hang out and it's at this location" (such as halfway or at least not that 40 min away) Great advice, SuperMonk! You are worth the effort Buzzie!
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