noclobber Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 I mean no offence but its a given that women love attention! How exactly would you define "attention"? Is it compliments, spending money on her, buying her gifts, or simply just being with her? If you have a female friend how would you know that she spends time with you b'cos she really likes you as a friend and not b'cos of the attention you give her?
alphamale Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 If you have a female friend ? here is your problem NOCLOBER....you just don't have female friends. You date them and have sex with them. There is no stated rule that a man be friends with a particular woman before being romantically or sexually involved with her.
Author noclobber Posted February 22, 2006 Author Posted February 22, 2006 There is no stated rule that a man be friends with a particular woman before being romantically or sexually involved with her. Thanks Alpha! I do understand that its not a good idea to be friends with a woman that you find attractive. But I am not talking about that. My question is if a man has a female friend how would he know that she is genuinely a friend and not a woman that hangs around him b'cos she is getting attention?
alphamale Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 My question is if a man has a female friend how would he know that she is genuinely a friend and not a woman that hangs around him b'cos she is getting attention? If the friends relationship is fairly even (50/50) then she is your true friend....if you are doing 95% of the work and she'd doing 5% to keep the friendship going then she's just looking for attention.
Author noclobber Posted February 22, 2006 Author Posted February 22, 2006 If the friends relationship is fairly even (50/50) then she is your true friend....if you are doing 95% of the work and she'd doing 5% to keep the friendship going then she's just looking for attention. Fantastic Actually in my situation I am putting in 30% and she is putting in 70%. That's where my question is actually coming from. Why would a woman be so persistent.... makes me wonder whether she is getting anything out of the friendship... may be attention? well... anyway... thanks Alpha!
alphamale Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 makes me wonder whether she is getting anything out of the friendship... may be attention? she's probably digging on the attention to some extent but you must also remember that women in general are quite big on "relationships"....their whole lives revolve around relationships. Starting them, maintaining them, ending them, etc... In other words, most females judge the quality of their life by the quality of their relationships. Us men judge the quality of our lives by the kind of car we drive and how good looking our woman is...
Author noclobber Posted February 22, 2006 Author Posted February 22, 2006 In other words, most females judge the quality of their life by the quality of their relationships. Us men judge the quality of our lives by the kind of car we drive and how good looking our woman is... How about this? => Females judge the quality of their life by the quality of their relationships with men that judge the quality of their lives by the kind of car they drive and the house they live in..
loony Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 As a woman I can only say that I would mistrust a guy who says he has not female friends. I do prefer that he does not have super close friendships with them or calls a hot chick his best buddy, but apart from this it is normal to have females in your social circle. The type of guy who says, "don't be friends with women" in general does not interest me. Why? Because they don't manage to look at women as more than mere objects. They don't think of them as human beings who share similar feelings, they are the other, something strange and mysterious. My question is if a man has a female friend how would he know that she is genuinely a friend and not a woman that hangs around him b'cos she is getting attention? If you think she acts like a good friend, then just accept it instead of trying to split hairs. Is she trying to make you happy once in a while? Does she go out of her way to help you? Does she have patience and listen to you and comfort you when you have a problem? Is she asking occasionally how you are doing? These are some things that friends do for you.
alphamale Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 As a woman I can only say that I would mistrust a guy who says he has not female friends. I do prefer that he does not have super close friendships with them or calls a hot chick his best buddy, oh so he should have female aquaintances then? is that ok LOONEY? I advocate "aquaintances" between the sexes. I do not condone close friendships between the sexes cause they are a waste of time. The type of guy who says, "don't be friends with women" in general does not interest me. Why? Because they don't manage to look at women as more than mere objects. They don't think of them as human beings who share similar feelings, they are the other, something strange and mysterious. WTF are you talking about? When a man is dating a woman or married she should be his friend totally. But in a romantic relationship one must develop the friendship secondary to the romance and sex.
Author noclobber Posted February 22, 2006 Author Posted February 22, 2006 hi alpha, loony is talking about the normal female friends.... not the ones that men find attractive and befriend them with a hidden agenda in mind. NC
Toni_no12002 Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 A friend is someone who is there for you when you need them most.If you have a girl friend who you think might be around you for the attention try pretending there is another girl in your life who you fancy.Ask your friends advice.If she is a true friend she wont be jealous she will give you genuine advice.If she acts all jelous then she probably is jealous because she simply wants attention or because she fancies you.
Lishy Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 Hey Clobsy!!!!!!!!! Has she got lots of girl friends? How many friends has she got?
Author noclobber Posted February 22, 2006 Author Posted February 22, 2006 A friend is someone who is there for you when you need them most.If you have a girl friend who you think might be around you for the attention try pretending there is another girl in your life who you fancy.Ask your friends advice.If she is a true friend she wont be jelous she will give you genuine advice.If she acts all jelous then she probably fancies you. Thanks Toni This friend that I am talking about was the one that said she doesn't have feelings for me when I asked her out. We are continuing now as friends and my feelings for her have pretty much gone. But I always wonder why she wants to see me every day for lunch or coffee, wants me to move to the city and be near to her, say things like "you break my heart"... The most important thing is why is she so persistent about the friendship... I thought may be its b'cos of the attention factor... i dunno... that's why i started this thread.
Author noclobber Posted February 22, 2006 Author Posted February 22, 2006 Hey Clobsy!!!!!!!!! Has she got lots of girl friends? How many friends has she got? hey lishy baby, yeah she does have some female friends. she grew up here in California... why do you ask about her friends?
Author noclobber Posted February 22, 2006 Author Posted February 22, 2006 and btw lishy... i started backing away from her and it is having its impact
Toni_no12002 Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 I do know that some women want attention.Now when i mean attention i dont mean that in a bad way.I want attention from men.Who doesnt.I want attention from women,although not in the same way.It may simply because she likes you as a friend and she doesnt want to lose you.Does she flirt with you?or has she said anything that makes you feel that she either fancies you or simply just wants the attention? Sometimes you can tell if a girl just wants attention.Its all about her.If she fancied you she would care about you to.
Lishy Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 and btw lishy... i started backing away from her and it is having its impact WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO WTGGGGGGGG I just wondered how often she saw her other friends babe or if she does not have many friends The reason I ask is becuase I see 3 options with her 1. She really likes you and she is scared 2. She is lovin the attention you give her 3. She has no other friends and needs someone to do stuff with Think about this carefully baby, think of exactky what she does with other friends and wether she spends time with you INSTEAD of her friends or becuase her other friends cant make it. PLEASE do not take this the wrong way, it is just something that entered my head when I read your post - I am probably 100% wrong as I do not know her. But 1 thing I am sure of honey - You are NOT over her at all and still have hopes for romance and remaining her friend will not benefit you.
Author noclobber Posted February 22, 2006 Author Posted February 22, 2006 WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO WTGGGGGGGG I just wondered how often she saw her other friends babe or if she does not have many friends The reason I ask is becuase I see 3 options with her 1. She really likes you and she is scared 2. She is lovin the attention you give her 3. She has no other friends and needs someone to do stuff with Think about this carefully baby, think of exactky what she does with other friends and wether she spends time with you INSTEAD of her friends or becuase her other friends cant make it. PLEASE do not take this the wrong way, it is just something that entered my head when I read your post - I am probably 100% wrong as I do not know her. But 1 thing I am sure of honey - You are NOT over her at all and still have hopes for romance and remaining her friend will not benefit you. just two weeks back she asked me to join her and her other girl friends for snow boarding. so i realized that she does have friends that she can do stuff with. the most confusing part is the lunch stuff Lishy. even if she doesn't have friends she can always go to lunch with her colleagues. is it not? once she asked me for lunch and i cudn't make it b'cos i had some work. i then saw her having lunch with one of her colleagues. so its clear that she went to lunch with her colleague after i said i can't make it. i dunno... its kinda confusing... i am not reading all this as signs that she is interested... i only want to know what she is getting out of hanging out with me. i don't want to be used in any way....
Lishy Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 Ok Clobsy I was wrong there then! (Thank god!) I think she really likes you! I think she likes spending time with you because you are so nice! I dont blame her either! She wants to be your friend as she does not see you as more! She may end up being your best 'man' at your wedding As long as you are not getting hurt I say carry on as you are and stop worrying about why she does certain things. If she wanted to be with you she would be. Love ya Clobs keep your chin up baby!
Author noclobber Posted February 22, 2006 Author Posted February 22, 2006 Ok Clobsy I was wrong there then! (Thank god!) So what did you actually assume Lishy? I think she really likes you! I think she likes spending time with you because you are so nice! I dont blame her either! She wants to be your friend as she does not see you as more! She may end up being your best 'man' at your wedding As long as you are not getting hurt I say carry on as you are and stop worrying about why she does certain things. If she wanted to be with you she would be. Love ya Clobs keep your chin up baby! Yeah I know that I should not analyze why she does the things that she does. But last week when I said my new job will be in a different location in the city the very first thing she said was "can we still meet for lunch?". i said its quite far and she replied "we can take the train and meet for lunch". now, doesn't that sound a bit odd? she also said "if you get the new job you should move to San Francisco" (she lives in San Francisco). these two things made me wonder what exactly she gets out of all of this... but i am just not able to put a finger on anything and that's why i started this thread. i don't spend any money on her nor do i give her a single compliment... so i really dunno what attention she is getting from me... if meeting her in itself is an attention factor then i got to think....
Lishy Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 maybe it isnt the attention ....... Maybe she just likes being your friend?
Author noclobber Posted February 22, 2006 Author Posted February 22, 2006 maybe it isnt the attention ....... Maybe she just likes being your friend? ok great then! i rather not break my head anymore with this you are such a doll Lishy :love:
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