OzGirl Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 Does a Wife want to know if he's still cheating? Hi, I've posted this in the infidelity forum - but thought it might be relevent to OW to add their thoughts on the subject. When a MM cheats and the wife finds out, it seems they stay together to try and repair a marriage before it's broken - whether it be purely for love, purely to keep the house/children together, or a mixture of both. Many OW can confirm - they still cheat - once the dust has settled with the wife, they often remain or restart contact with the OW. The OW, who's been, not surprisingly I guess, made 2nd best in the situation, quite possibly doesn't want to have anything to do with this MM's advances, contact or promises. It's torturous to live in hope, but humiliating to do it post-W-finding out. My MM has send copious emails, etc, to try and keep me interested. Essentially, he has learnt nothing of the pain he's caused either his W or myself, and is setting it up for failure again. I now feel sympathy for his W, and wish I could tell her - "he's still doing it to you". I read the anguish of the many W's on this website, and wonder - if he was to cheat on you again - even just by email, phone, physically, whatever.... would you want to know? I doubt any W wants to here from the OW again - and in my case, if I rang his wife, he would tell her I'm psycho and I want him back and that's the only reason I'm "making it up". I have evidence - but I guess the argument would be that copies of emails aren't worth much - they're editable. So, what do I do? Just leave it alone and continue ignoring him, and let it just be for them to work out in due course? That's what my brain says to do. But, the hurt for many W's is the duration the affair goes on for without them knowing - is it fair to know they are back in the same situation they were in? I find it hard to live with the fact that I can't help her. I'm neither the person who should do it, or the person who can do it. But, I'm still a human being who feels remorse for their actions and now, wants to know what to do - if anything - but from the W's point of view. I would want to know (if I was a W), I'm sure. But, how I find out - would that affect my willingness to accept it? All comments welcome.
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