fraidycat Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Alright- there is this guy I work with and live in the same building as and let me tell you- he is the king of mixed signals..kind of like me. See I really really like this guy but maybe just because of my personality or how I am I am friendly and flirty with him sometimes..and others I seem to kind of just..well ignore him. In fact He usually initiates most of the conversations and he usually says Hello to me first. He's sarcastic and a smart alec as am I..he's also a nice guy. Now, he's got me so confused I can't tell if he's being a nice guy, if he likes me or doesn't. Let me give you examples of things...the first time we talked- we locked eyes - in fact most of the times we talk we lock eyes don't look away and it isn't even weird or creepy. It's sweet actually. If he's talking to someone he'll look at them and then move his gaze and look at me. He's made excuses to come see me i.e - oh I cant give you the key to this (when indeed he trully could) I'll have to come there myself and do it with you. OR. Hey do you have any of this? Im out..when indeed he wasn't out. Or how about taking 45 minutes to sand a little patch of something and coming around where I was working every 2 minutes? Or when I've tried to get off the phone with him after an extremely short conversation he brings up a subject that he's already talked to someone else and knows the answer about...If I were a woman doing this to a man do you know why I'd do these things? Because I liked the guy! So I get this vibe like hey he's interested in me right..and then what happens? I leave him a thankyou note for doing something that's in my job description because we thought he's the one who did it..turns out he's not. Then the mgr is like hey if you leave notes slide it under his door but dont leave it on his door because then everybody sees it and he gets embarassed...and then shortly after that I see him and he gives me this big grin...what the heck is up with this guy..I just don't get it? Please someone give me some input. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 What's so mixed ? This guy CLEARLY likes you... So whats the real problem ? Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Guys don't spend time with someone they don't like. The two of you need to realize that you both like each other and make that move or you will be playing the dance forever. Link to post Share on other sites
krunkd101 Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 hey well gurl i think that he is just doin it to play with your head cuz it seems to me that he is just flirting with you to get you in to bed and maybe you dont know something else might go out of this but i think that if he dosent make the first move then you should! dont you think well i hope that this helps well tootles! (Moderator removed personal email adress, please use PM option) Link to post Share on other sites
SuperMonk Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Guys don't spend time with someone they don't like. The two of you need to realize that you both like each other and make that move or you will be playing the dance forever. That's kinda ambiguous since some guys out there are losers and just want to go out. This is why some guys out there should be more assertive in showing clear interest signals to the girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fraidycat Posted February 25, 2006 Author Share Posted February 25, 2006 Thanks everyone for your replies..well He brought up some movie he thought I should see and I said oh I wanna see that and he's like well I rented it if you and your roomie wanna see it. So then I was just like hey if you're not doing anything this weekend would you like to come and watch it with us? but he already had this fishing trip planned so he couldn't- so we decided we'd get together sometime next week to watch a movie or play cards or what not. I didn't come right out and say hey I like you but I did at least get the ball going. Well..then he got himself on my crap list- his buddies were over and I went down to his apt. to clear up something and when he answered his door I asked if he had 5 minutes and then in a really rude tone he was like no..I don't and then he's like why what's going on? I'm sure I looked pretty shocked and I just said said "nothing" and he's like nothing? I started to walk off he's like ok and shut his door. So as you can imagine my heart was broken..well here comes to the soap opera ladies and gentlemen. My sister and I look a lot alike from a distance- my roomie said she saw the way he looked when my sister came down the hall and he got really excited but at the same time kind of shy and sorry looking- but when she got closer and he realized it wasn't me he got this sad little puppy dog look on his face. My sis said she'd seen him a few times that day and he just looked kind of sad and mopey- Well I saw him late that night..but I was with another guy at the time playing aorund in the snow (hey now we're just friends!) well he looked right at us and then when he came out again 2 minutes later he kept his head turned in the opposite direction of us the WHOLE time.I also noticed when my friend and I walked out to take some garbage together he had his shades opened..and they were not like that earlier that evening. So I don't know what's going on here..it's turning into days of our lives over here. Personally I think he should quit worrying so much about his buddies teasing him..quite frankly one of them was trying to get in my pants just the other day..would he like to know that?? Why is it guys care so much about what their friends think? Is it that hard to have your own stinkin opinion and not need everyone elses silence or approval to stand for it. Jeez Eleuweez Link to post Share on other sites
Almost Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Well, this guy sounds like the way I have often behaved towards girls/women I have liked. I'd like to think I've grown out of this kind of behavior, and to some degree I have, but it still manifests itself in more subtle ways, in every relationship I get into or attempt to get into. Perhaps we can help each other out. I feel like I know exactly what this guy feels like. He's in love with you. He can barely stand it and can barely admit it to himself. He really likes you, but he doesn't really know how to handle it, in terms of how to deal with what he's feeling, how to talk to you, whether you like him as a potential boyfriend, or as just a platonic friend, and he's worried about what his friends might think. He's totally into you and completely confused and clueless as to what to do about it. He totally thinks the guy you were playing in the snow with is your new boyfriend, and he's crushed and broken hearted about it. He's pretty sure you think he's a jerk now, and that he's ruined any chance he had with you. So he's upset with himself and also with you to some extent. This guy is very sensitive and emotional, and unsure how to approach a woman with confidence and ask her out. The bottom line is this guy isn't about to come up to you, all confident and everything, and sweep you off your feet. If you like him at all, you're going to have to take the initiative to go to him to talk, set things straight, even ask him on a first date. Or at least give him clear signals that it would be ok if he asked. If he's like me, he's not a total whimp, and completely capable of being very confident, intelligent, and capable of many things. He just needs to have some success with women in order to gain confidence and get better at it. He needs a little encouragement, and then he'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fraidycat Posted March 5, 2006 Author Share Posted March 5, 2006 Hey Almost- thanks for your input I appreciated that! Well, I might as well tell you how last week went- Monday - I guess everytime he looked at me I stuck my nose up and turned my head (oops beleive it or not I wasn't trying to do that) This married guy kept hitting on me and my roomate so two different times he told this guy to bug off. He was really ticked off the second time when he came in and this guy was hitting on me and I was putting him in his place. Tuesday- I didn't want this guy thinking I hate him- so I made sure to talk to him in a normal but friendly way. It wasn't long and he and his friend were standing behind me for about a minute talking and I didn't turn around so he stepped on my cord so I'd have to- and then he was all "hehehe". Things were officially back to "normal" between us then. He also got the door for me that day- and I've watched he doesn't typically open the door for women randomly. Wedensday I didn't see him at all. Thursday- I gave him some deer meat- lol.Um..he mentioned he had a kid to me (I was floored) I saw him a lot that day same with Friday. lol here is a funny story- my roomie was in the storage closet and she said he was like dancing and singing and he jumped in the closet and was like Hel..oh it's you..um hi. Well the only person he could expect was in there was me..so she said It seems to me he thought you were in there.He's been opening his shades when Im around again too ..so yeah that's what's been going on. lol I might as well write a mini soap opera about the two of us..first we got us fighting..then we got him thinking I got a bf..then we find out..oh he has a kid. I'm starting to wonder if that could be part of the reason he acts so stinkin weird- and his little freak out last week? Well..we'll see what happens. Thanks again Almost! Link to post Share on other sites
Almost Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 He has a kid? That's weird. So where does the kid live, not with him I assume? Where's the mom? I don't know if that's why he acts weird around you. The problem here is that you both like each other, but nobody is doing anything about it. Nobody is initiating any conversation or proposing to go on any dates or anything. So I would expect more of the same until one of you makes a move. Sounds like he's shy and not sure what to do, and you aren't about to really do anything to initiate a real conversation about your feelings toward each other either. That's fine if you are ok with the status quo. If you got another boyfriend and he found out, I'm sure he would be depressed again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fraidycat Posted March 5, 2006 Author Share Posted March 5, 2006 Well here's the thing. Before him I was single for 3 years by choice. Someone broke my heart, had a bad experience, closed myself up for business for awhile. So all of this required a lot of stretching on my part..I completely freaked out just for feeling the way I did about him. So when he treated me the way he did that one time- while I don't hold it agianst him and I'm not mad- in a way it's almost like it left a scar because it prevents me from taking another step out. Can you understand that? and do you have yahoo msgr or something? lol Link to post Share on other sites
Almost Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 Absolutely I understand that. My heart has been broken many times, although most of the time it has been broken without actually being in a real relationship, but in my imagination, like when this guy's heart was broken because he thought you were dating someone else. But I have been in real relationships where my heart was broken also. But not because of rejection really, but because of my own inability to communicate effectively and my girlfriend's super high perfectionist standards. Anyways, I digress. So you're a Fraidycat. Join the club. You can't win if you don't play. Ask, and you shall receive. Seek, and you shall find. Knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Link to post Share on other sites
Almost Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 I might add that I've been single now for 5 years, at first by choice but mostly not by choice. I haven't had a relationship since I broke up with my fiance 5 years ago. Basicallly, I'm a Fraidycat also and have a hard time putting myself out there. Unfortunately no, I don't have instant messanger, I never signed up for it because I didn't see why if would be any better or different than email. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fraidycat Posted March 6, 2006 Author Share Posted March 6, 2006 I met someone else...Good Grief Link to post Share on other sites
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