Guest Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 My boyfriend and I met at work. We started hanging out and dating in May of 2005. We officially started dating in October when I came to find out a little while back that he lived with his ex and was moving out when he met me and not living with her when we started dating. I also found out that he cheated on her with me.... So all in all he tells me that they have no contact but they other day I looked at his cell phone to call one of his friends about a surprise birthday present for him and I saw that he had called her. She lives close by and I guess I am wondering what I can do to get her out of his life. I just cannot figure out why he keeps contact with her if I am living with him now and he tells me that they are thru. I guess I would not be so bothered by this if it was an open relationship with the 3 of us..but when I have asked if I will ever meet her his first response was she doesnt like you and she doesnt want to meet you. The interesting thing about this situation is as I was moving in one night I texted an old friend of minne from highschool regarding a concert. I got nervous when my boyfriend walked up behind me and scared me that I closed my phone.We later had an enourmous fight that I was texting someone and how much it hurt him even if nothing was going on. But then last night I tried to get another phone number so I could finish his birthday surprise and noticed that he sent her a text message saying good night. I guess he did respect me on cuttinng down the txts.emails.calls but the last thing I wanted was for it to be hidden...why cant I at least be told of the friendship... I just dont know what to do anymore. when I have asked him about it he says they are done and has gotten mad at me saying I thought we were over this...i dont know what else to do. I realize it is equally her as it is him especially since she knows about me. I just dont know what to do anymore. I never used to be insecure and question things and now I do. I need some help.
Kengne Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 My boyfriend and I met at work. We started hanging out and dating in May of 2005. We officially started dating in October when I came to find out a little while back that he lived with his ex and was moving out when he met me and not living with her when we started dating. I also found out that he cheated on her with me.... So all in all he tells me that they have no contact but they other day I looked at his cell phone to call one of his friends about a surprise birthday present for him and I saw that he had called her. She lives close by and I guess I am wondering what I can do to get her out of his life. I just cannot figure out why he keeps contact with her if I am living with him now and he tells me that they are thru. I guess I would not be so bothered by this if it was an open relationship with the 3 of us..but when I have asked if I will ever meet her his first response was she doesnt like you and she doesnt want to meet you. The interesting thing about this situation is as I was moving in one night I texted an old friend of minne from highschool regarding a concert. I got nervous when my boyfriend walked up behind me and scared me that I closed my phone.We later had an enourmous fight that I was texting someone and how much it hurt him even if nothing was going on. But then last night I tried to get another phone number so I could finish his birthday surprise and noticed that he sent her a text message saying good night. I guess he did respect me on cuttinng down the txts.emails.calls but the last thing I wanted was for it to be hidden...why cant I at least be told of the friendship... I just dont know what to do anymore. when I have asked him about it he says they are done and has gotten mad at me saying I thought we were over this...i dont know what else to do. I realize it is equally her as it is him especially since she knows about me. I just dont know what to do anymore. I never used to be insecure and question things and now I do. I need some help. 1. He cheated on HER to be with YOU. and NOW you are wondering why he's hiding their "friendship" from YOU? Wow - somebody please call Unsolved Mysteries. To be blunt - chances are he's prolly messing around with her again and THATS why he's hiding it from you. Him accusing YOU and getting so mad abt you receiving a text from some friend - uhm, hello this is the No. 1 Cheater Tactic - Accuse the other Person of what YOU'RE doing ie Cheating. Don't you know the guilty always speak? He's tryna reverse the situation! Flip the script! I think you made a bad decision by staying AFTER you found out he cheated on HER to be with YOU! OBV he will do it to you too!!! C'mon now. Be for real and not a beefaroni. K.
RecordProducer Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 I think you need to tell him that: 1. He can have as many female friends (including ex-GFs) he wants as long as he doesn't hide them from you or you from them; 2. If you ever find out that there has been more than friendship there, you will not trust him anymore and consequently take the right steps; 3. It's very important that he tells you the whole truth and nothing but the truth since in such way you build trust as opposed to destroy trust; 4. He should trust you unless you give him a reason not to.
Recommended Posts