Never had a relationship: Someting wrong?

[alphamale]

He'll interject a sexual flirt, or comment in the wrong place and out of the blue. I'll be talking with him about a class he's teaching, and next thing he'll say is how the girls really like him because he smells good. huh?

so WALK, like you;ll be talking with him and he'll just yell out something random like 'potatoe salad'?? could be tourettes syndrome

 

And most of the men I've met who haven't had LTR, have weird standards for women they'd date. Either way too young for them. Girls who are 18-22 while they are 40-45. Or they want a Britney Spears, when they look like George from seinfeld. Or their into some freaky weird sex that the "normal" woman would scream and run from.

....or maybe they are just gay and haven't realized it yet

 

My other thought... You said you enjoy mountain biking and hiking. I know there are groups and clubs in my area where people get together every week, or month to do these activities.

and exactly how many females would be in a mountain biking club? Zero maybe???

[Walk]

so WALK, like you;ll be talking with him and he'll just yell out something random like 'potatoe salad'?? could be tourettes syndrome

Seriously, it's creepy. I've had other guys do this too, (guys who can't get LTR's) Just outta the blue start telling me about their masturbation techniques. Or the sheep fetish they have, and how wool sweaters turn them on. Or how they want to "do" me with a shovel. And then they wonder why I won't date them. Wtf?

 

and exactly how many females would be in a mountain biking club? Zero maybe???

Haha.. Used to be zero, about 7 years ago. Now it's about 50/50. I was in one until I fractured my back. Had a few female friends who would join me. We'd race the guys. There's a lot more females into mnt biking then when it initially became a fad. I joined a group because it's hard to find others who enjoy the sport, and it's not terribly smart to mnt bike alone.

[SoleMate]

I think it's more accurate to say that if girl feels romantic/sexual attraction to a guy, it may not matter if he is a jerk -- and conversely, being the most considerate man in the word doesn't matter if there's no romantic/sexual attraction there.

 

Very true! Congratulations on understanding this.

 

...I do not feel I need to generate interest in a woman...I shouldn't have to be a phony game-playing player...

 

Whoops...I'm gonna have to take points off here. You have a major disconnect. You can do a lot to generate interest on a woman's part WITHOUT being a phoney player. My number one suggestion would be for you to provide and/or establish closeness, warmth and intimacy that is as much emotional as physical/sexual.

 

Also read His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley. He will explain what makes women fall in love and stay in love forever. Basically, it is when a man does a great job meeting their most important emotional needs. NOT when he does a great job being their errand boy...since that is not a deeply-felt emotional need...and ALSO not when he is aloofly standing back, declining to make any positive effort to meet their intimate emotional needs, on the grounds that it should all be "natural and unforced and no games".

 

It's not playing games for you to spend serious time and mental effort learning about a woman who attracts you - to the point where you understand her needs well and learn how to meet them. The process of this learning should be enjoyable to both of you - it is called courtship. It involves emotional intimacy.

 

Have you ever asked a woman, "What is the ideal man, in your eyes?" Or, "Tell me about one of your friends who you think has got a wonderful bf/husband. What about her situation would you like? What would you not like?" I have a feeling that such questions would give you information you desperately need.

 

BTW, there doesn't appear to be anything in your physical self that disqualifies you. Staying fit, well-dressed, cheerful, confident, and friendly is always important. However, since you do not have much trouble with the initial phase, I would suggest that you are doing OK on these factors. It's when a woman starts burrowing a little deeper and wants to feel contact with another person's soul - not just body - that she is not being permitted that closeness with you.

 

You may want to consider a few sessions with a counselor to learn how to be emotionally intimate.

[alphamale]

Have you ever asked a woman, "What is the ideal man, in your eyes?" Or, "Tell me about one of your friends who you think has got a wonderful bf/husband. What about her situation would you like? What would you not like?" I have a feeling that such questions would give you information you desperately need..

ha Ha hA...surely you jest SOLEMATE....most women would give answer like "oh yes, I'm looking for an honest, nice, and generous man who's in touch with his feelings and not a criminal or alcoholic....he should put me on a pedestal and..." blah blah blah blah blah blah.

 

Then next day she will go out on date with some dude who's the exact opposite and have sex with him in the bathroom.

[IWalkAlone]

Thanks for your repsonses everyone. I've been thinking about them and I'm ready to respond to some of them.

 

Yes, I ride with a local bike club, and yes, there are a few women who ride, but every single one of them is a wife or girlfriend of a man in the club. I also once took tennis lessons thinking that it would be mostly women in the class. It was, but every single one of them was at least 12 years older than me, at least 12 years younger (I was 30 at the time) or married. I'm surprised no one mentioned Church. I'm not religious, so it seems disingenious of me to go to a church and pretend just to mack on women.

 

Do I have a disagreeable personality? Good question. I tend to be opinionated and I enjoy intelligent debate. But I learned in high school that many people don't, so I'm careful not to debate people unless I know that they also enjoy this. When I'm meeting women or on a date is certainly no place for a poilitical debate. I know that.

 

Do I have a problem meeting women's emotional needs? I have no idea. But I would ask this: is the guy who cheats on his wife/girlfiend by having sex with lots of other women good at meeting women's emotional needs? It is the guy who frequently gets too drunk or watches ESPN all the time but still has a wife/gf better than me at meeting emotional needs?

 

Do I persue the wrong type of women? Let's see, I do have a list of what I'm looking for in a LTR partner:

 

1) Intelligent and enjoys intelligent conversation.

2) Age, about 22 to 40.

2) Compatiable views on politics, religion, etc. (if she meets #1 she'll have views on these topics. Also, I tend to be in the middle politically - depending on the issue. I am not religious.)

3) Healthy sex drive.

4) Physically fit enough to go hiking, mountian biking or maybe skiing with me.

5) Reasonabley attractive. I know this is subjective, but I'm not looking a a Pamela Anderson. About 90 percent of women who are physically fit to meet #4 meet #5 for me also.

and most important...

6) Is not married or in a serious relationshp with someone else.

7) Is into ME romantically/sexually.

 

Is this list unreasonable?

 

Not surprisingly, #7 is the most difficult to find. There have been a couple, but either they didn't meet enough of the other criteria or their attraction toward me is temporary.

 

In recent years, I've loosened the criteria for when I thought that someone might have sex with me. I just start to feel like a loser when it's been more than a year since I've had sex. While sex makes me feel a little better about myself, I still don't see myself in an LTR with someone when my thoughts & ideas about stuff go over her head (or one case, was married to someone else). So if the women I've been trying to get are the wrong ones, then where are the right ones?

 

Then people will say "there's someone for you"/"You'll find someone." It's fine to say this to a 19-year old, but I'm 33, and I've been dating with limited success for more than 15 years now. Since the same things keep happening, I know it must be me, but I'm completely at a loss (as are friends I've discussed this with) to identify what it is, except that I'm not triggering romantic/sexual feelings in the women I'm interested in.

[Walk]

Confidence is sexy and highly erotic. I find a man who is confident yet far from good looking, incredibly attractive. You don't have to be a player, or play games. But if your idea of debate is pressing your view down her throat, then she's gonna be turned off. Can't tell you how many men I've met who've decided to "school" me on some topic that they feel they want to "discuss". Ick. Discussion is great, as long as you listen and validate her opinion and view. If your idea of a discussion involves long winded narrations, then forget it.

 

Why don't you try.. and it's just a suggestion.. simplifying matters a little first. Instead of looking for a woman who is going to be Mrs. LTR. Look for people you enjoy hanging out with. While you're at it, work on your prowess to get laid. Don't treat the girl like an object, but use it to learn what turns a woman on. What moves work best, what doesn't, what makes them say no, what makes them say yes. Not specific phrases or actions, but what signals you give off, how you respond to what you see them doing, when to push, when not to.

 

Its probably easier for a girl to get a guy then vice versa, but if I were looking to increase my knowledge of how to become more attractive to the opposite sex, then I'd make that my goal. Not keep attacking with the same set of tools and continually failing. If you want a better job, get education, if you want to do better with the women, get out there and do the old trial by error. When you hit on something that works, use it. If it didn't, toss it. Keep it within the boundaries of what is morally/ethically correct for you, but keep your eyes and mind wide open on different areas you can learn.

 

Best thing to keep in mind... woman want to feel attractive and special. How do you do this? If you tell us we won't believe you. Show us. Eye contact, converstation aimed at who we are, what interests us, etc. And in addition to this, prove you are actually a man. Open the door, get us a drink, and be confident in yourself. (defending our honor without actually getting violent is a feat worth learning) And although this is probably common sense, notice what the hell we are non-verbally saying. If she looks cold, offer your coat/sweater/warmer place. If she seems disinterested, change the setting. If she's no longer looking you in the eye, change the subject back to her. Do a study on non-verbal behaviors of women. There's a lot of data that may or may not work, but at the very least read up on it.

 

Sorry if that came across harshly. I can't give you a specific, "Do this and it'll work". I think you need to put yourself in more situations in which you can interact with more women. Pare it down to the basics if you can. Instead of looking at the bigger picture, take it down to its smallest element. You want to get laid for a night. What works, what doesn't? Take that information and use it toward getting a woman who is a little more aloof to find you desirable. Adapt it for the situation. Keep trying until you find out what works and what doesn't. Is it how you stand, comments, jokes, innuendo's? Could you be more direct in your desire without turning them off? Or should you tone it down? Just take it down to it's smallest element, and build on it. Learn from your mistakes and don't, do NOT, be afraid to fail. Put yourself in situations where you have to find 3 women in a night and get one of them to agree to a date with you. Build your confidence as you become more successful in getting 1 of the 3 to agree, and then 2 or the 3. etc. The more confident you are, the more attractive you become, the more women are going to want you. But you can't get there if you don't start somewhere. Start small and build on it.

[IWalkAlone]

You know, that's all common sense advice, and I've incorparated much of it over the years.

 

But that still doesn't explain to my what comes easily for so many people is so elusive to me.

 

This past valentines day I was reading blogs of various friends, and one girl was talking about how fantastic her boyfriend was. Well, I know the guy. He's a great guy, but when I try to figure out what he has to offer women that I don't, and what makes him more deserving of romance/sex, etc than me, I can't come up with a damn thing.

 

And when I read advice columns about women complaining about all sorts of problems with their men, I sometimes feel insulted that whatever they see lacking in me is a worse flaw than all the things about their BFs they complain about. Then I think either most women are very stupid about the men they pick, or that I must be so fundimentally flawed that I cannot see it, and I'm mad because people I asked won't tell me what it is.

 

But when I'm thinking clearly, what ir really comes down to are a woman's feelings of romantic/sexual interest. It's either there or it isn't. If it's there, a woman will overlook all sorts of flaws & personality defects. If it's not there, then all the confidence & flowers in the world isn't going to create it. And for me it's rarely there, and when it is it's short-lived.

[blind_otter]

IMO you should talk to a counselor who can help you analyze your body language and behavior in face to face interactions.

 

Sometimes we are unable to objectively judge our behavior.

[IWalkAlone]

What kind of counselor? I've thought about marriage counselors, but it seems weird to go to someone who specializes in fixing relationships when there's no specfiic relationship to fix. In a broken marraige, there's social pressure to fix it, but whoever that last girls to date & dump me is under no obligation to work things out with me.

[alphamale]

But when I'm thinking clearly, what ir really comes down to are a woman's feelings of romantic/sexual interest. It's either there or it isn't. If it's there, a woman will overlook all sorts of flaws & personality defects.

you need to know how to create these feelings inside a woman's mind. be sexual, be masculine, be strong, be confident. Don't take any shyt from them. Be a man. Whatever a woman does, do the opposite.

 

IMO you should talk to a counselor who can help you analyze your body language and behavior in face to face interactions.

a counselor would be an utter waste of time and money IMO. what IWA needs is a male friend who is good with women to become his "mentor" and show him what to do, say, and how to act.

[blind_otter]

a counselor would be an utter waste of time and money IMO. what IWA needs is a male friend who is good with women to become his "mentor" and show him what to do, say, and how to act.

 

ideally it would have to be someone objective, who has experience in life coaching. It's easier to get that if you pay someone.

[SoleMate]

Hey, walkalone. Here's an idea for you.

 

Respond...

 

to people's posts. Maybe if you start small, you can learn to respond to and even trigger a woman's affection.

 

Strange idea? Perhaps. I gave you some fairly useful advice...and it appears to have been ignored. If you actually read it, thought about it, and attempted to apply it, you sure kept that a good secret.

 

Please think about it. Human interaction is a 2-way street.

[babbah]

"Patience is a Virtue"

maybe the right girl for you is yet to come.....

do not hurry love...true love waits!

[BlahBlahQueen]

This is your problem: you bore women. You're dry and bland. I'm even bored by reading your posts, no offense. Where's your element of excitement? Passion? Women like to be swept off their feet, like B_O said, but not necessarily through fakery. And you don't have to be a prick either, contrary to what Alpha preaches. What you have to do is learn how to "feel" life instead of thinking it out. Have moods. Feel passion. Be spontaneous. Laugh often. Take the liberty of dancing a tango with her in the rain. Women respond to a colorful, intriguing character.

[IWalkAlone]

Soulmate:

 

Sorry, I don't spend much time here. I feel I do interact with people face to face, but this interection rarely triggers romantic/sexual interest, which is the problem.

 

Interestingly, most of the women who seem to be open to talking to me or interacting with are married or in serious relationships. These same women tell me there's nothing wrong with me and "there's someone out there for for me." My theory is that women who are in relationships look at guys differently than women who are available & looking. Those who are really single often seem colder when I try to talk to them. They seem to have a filter to not encourage guys who they are not interested in dating.

 

Babbah: I've often heard that "there's a perfect someone out there for everyone." Well, after 15 years of dating & not finding her, I'm starting to fear that she lives in Madagasgar so that there is very little likelyhood of meeting her.

 

Queen: I hear what you say. I tend to be a thinking person and I tend to analayze, maybe over-analyze situaitons. But I also can be spontanious and have a quirky (but not mean) sense of humor. But I've noticed that many people are put off by this, so I keep myself reigned in somewhat until I reach a certain levelof comfort.

 

Another issue is that I think I'm too thin, and I've noticed that if I guy has a well musceled athletic build, it seems to make little difference to women what kind of personality he has. I was once a member of a gym, but after 6 months of free weights, all that happen was that I went from skinny to skinny with slightly better muscle tone. I considering seeking out steroids to address this. I'm concerned about side effects to my health, but on the other hand I like the idea of being able to attract women while being my quirky self and not focusing on player games.

[SmoochieFace]

This is your problem: you bore women. You're dry and bland. I'm even bored by reading your posts, no offense. Where's your element of excitement? Passion? Women like to be swept off their feet, like B_O said, but not necessarily through fakery. And you don't have to be a prick either, contrary to what Alpha preaches. What you have to do is learn how to "feel" life instead of thinking it out. Have moods. Feel passion. Be spontaneous. Laugh often. Take the liberty of dancing a tango with her in the rain. Women respond to a colorful, intriguing character.

 

That's a pack of generalities that does not apply to every woman out there.

 

Based on what you have said here I would be deemd quite *boring* by you but it certainly didn't stop me from having GFs and (gasp!) actually getting married and fathering a child.

 

Not every guy has to be *Mr. Excitement* in order to be in a relationship and not every woman is looking for that.

[blind_otter]

I considering seeking out steroids to address this. I'm concerned about side effects to my health, but on the other hand I like the idea of being able to attract women while being my quirky self and not focusing on player games.

 

Don't do it. My exH did steroids, just 2 or 3 cycles, and it was effing awful. He had no temper before and then on the steroids he was angry, like scarey angry, and would get frustrated and punch holes in walls and stuff like that. That was when he punched me in the face and knocked me out while we were arguing, a full-on pop in the nose like I was a dude. After he got off the roids his whole personality went back to normal.

[BlahBlahQueen]

Another issue is that I think I'm too thin, and I've noticed that if I guy has a well musceled athletic build, it seems to make little difference to women what kind of personality he has. I was once a member of a gym, but after 6 months of free weights, all that happen was that I went from skinny to skinny with slightly better muscle tone. I considering seeking out steroids to address this.

 

Oh my god, you have to be kidding. Don't you know a large percentage of women like wiry guys? Not like emaciated weakling skinny, but toned and skinny... That's like, heaven to me. My ideal type. And lots of other chicks I know feel the same way. In fact, most of my female friends. We don't all go for roider muscleheads... I and many/most of my friends find them gross. Don't touch the steroids. So not worth it.

 

It's not your body. Either you have a really goofy-looking face or something in your personality is off. I'm betting on the latter.

 

That's a pack of generalities that does not apply to every woman out there.

 

Based on what you have said here I would be deemd quite *boring* by you but it certainly didn't stop me from having GFs and (gasp!) actually getting married and fathering a child.

 

Not every guy has to be *Mr. Excitement* in order to be in a relationship and not every woman is looking for that.

 

Well, you're right in a way. I exaggerated. But a subdued version of what I said is what chicks go for. Think of it, passion is the most obvious sign of emotional openness. And capacity for emotion is what women respond to. Even hints of it. Even Alpha's technique... the way it works is it points at repressed passion that women want to dig into and uncover, because it's filled with such overt nonchalance and gruffness that women can't help but wonder what made him that way, what's beneath the surface (must be something good, some sort of softie love-deity they want to unleash... oh, if only they knew the truth as we know it. ) If a guy is just totally dry and pleasant, we assume that's as deep as it goes, get bored and stop looking there. There are therefore two ways to reel in women: 1)You have some passion in you, or 2) you don't, and you put on a mask to fake interestingness and keep them guessing. Or 3) be gorgeous and have lots of money, then most wenches won't care either way.

[Guest]

Oh my god, you have to be kidding. Don't you know a large percentage of women like wiry guys? Not like emaciated weakling skinny, but toned and skinny... That's like, heaven to me. My ideal type. And lots of other chicks I know feel the same way. In fact, most of my female friends. We don't all go for roider muscleheads... I and many/most of my friends find them gross. Don't touch the steroids. So not worth it.

 

It's not your body. Either you have a really goofy-looking face or something in your personality is off. I'm betting on the latter.

 

 

I'm not talking about the pumped-up hyper-muscular steroid look. I'm talking about a Russell Crow/Brendon Fraser/played football in high school physique - biceps that bulge when relaxed and pecks filling out their shirts. When I'm out with people at parties or bars and the like, it is almost always these guys that hook up easily, regardless of the their personality or the personities of the guys who are overlooked.

 

Another word I should use is "gangly." That's what I see when I watch myself in videos. I know many people are self-concious when they see themselves on video, so I'm not sure if I appear as gangly to others as I appear to myself.

 

Unfortunately, I don't know what to do about that, other than figure out a way to fill out my arms, chest and shoulders to more aesthetically appealing porportions.

 

Well, you're right in a way. I exaggerated. But a subdued version of what I said is what chicks go for. Think of it, passion is the most obvious sign of emotional openness. And capacity for emotion is what women respond to. Even hints of it. Even Alpha's technique... the way it works is it points at repressed passion that women want to dig into and uncover, because it's filled with such overt nonchalance and gruffness that women can't help but wonder what made him that way, what's beneath the surface (must be something good, some sort of softie love-deity they want to unleash... oh, if only they knew the truth as we know it. ) If a guy is just totally dry and pleasant, we assume that's as deep as it goes, get bored and stop looking there. There are therefore two ways to reel in women: 1)You have some passion in you, or 2) you don't, and you put on a mask to fake interestingness and keep them guessing. Or 3) be gorgeous and have lots of money, then most wenches won't care either way.

 

I do have passion & excitment for some things, although not the same things that others are excited & passionate about (like professional sports). I do have a sense of humor and can make people laugh. But if I try to focus too much on advice like that above, I feel like I'm trying to focus too much on the act and not on enjoying myself with the person I'm talking to.

[IWalkAlone]

Oh my god, you have to be kidding. Don't you know a large percentage of women like wiry guys? Not like emaciated weakling skinny, but toned and skinny... That's like, heaven to me. My ideal type. And lots of other chicks I know feel the same way. In fact, most of my female friends. We don't all go for roider muscleheads... I and many/most of my friends find them gross. Don't touch the steroids. So not worth it.

It's not your body. Either you have a really goofy-looking face or something in your personality is off. I'm betting on the latter.

I'm not talking about the pumped-up hyper-muscular steroid look. I'm talking about a Russell Crow/Brendon Fraser/played football in high school physique - biceps that bulge when relaxed and pecks filling out their shirts. When I'm out with people at parties or bars and the like, it is almost always these guys that hook up easily, regardless of the their personality or the personities of the guys who are overlooked.

Another word I should use is "gangly." That's what I see when I watch myself in videos. I know many people are self-concious when they see themselves on video, so I'm not sure if I appear as gangly to others as I appear to myself.

Unfortunately, I don't know what to do about that, other than figure out a way to fill out my arms, chest and shoulders to more aesthetically appealing porportions.

Well, you're right in a way. I exaggerated. But a subdued version of what I said is what chicks go for. Think of it, passion is the most obvious sign of emotional openness. And capacity for emotion is what women respond to. Even hints of it. Even Alpha's technique... the way it works is it points at repressed passion that women want to dig into and uncover, because it's filled with such overt nonchalance and gruffness that women can't help but wonder what made him that way, what's beneath the surface (must be something good, some sort of softie love-deity they want to unleash... oh, if only they knew the truth as we know it. ) If a guy is just totally dry and pleasant, we assume that's as deep as it goes, get bored and stop looking there. There are therefore two ways to reel in women: 1)You have some passion in you, or 2) you don't, and you put on a mask to fake interestingness and keep them guessing. Or 3) be gorgeous and have lots of money, then most wenches won't care either way.

I do have passion & excitment for some things, although not the same things that others are excited & passionate about (like professional sports). I do have a sense of humor and can make people laugh. But if I try to focus too much on advice like that above, I feel like I'm trying to focus too much on the act and not on enjoying myself with the person I'm talking to.

[BlahBlahQueen]

I'm not talking about the pumped-up hyper-muscular steroid look. I'm talking about a Russell Crow/Brendon Fraser/played football in high school physique - biceps that bulge when relaxed and pecks filling out their shirts. When I'm out with people at parties or bars and the like, it is almost always these guys that hook up easily, regardless of the their personality or the personities of the guys who are overlooked.

Another word I should use is "gangly." That's what I see when I watch myself in videos. I know many people are self-concious when they see themselves on video, so I'm not sure if I appear as gangly to others as I appear to myself.

Unfortunately, I don't know what to do about that, other than figure out a way to fill out my arms, chest and shoulders to more aesthetically appealing porportions.

 

Well, like I said, I love gangly. That's my type.

 

Take my friend Steve, for instance. He's 6'2" and weighs 150 lbs. soaking wet He gets laid by a different girl every week. Not even kidding. Of course, he has the face of a fallen angel... and he's definitely toned and wiry... but there you go. As long as you're in shape and keep yourself looking slick, chicks will go for you. Some like 'em bigger, some like 'em smaller. That's all there is to it.

[IWalkAlone]

That just shows that the phsyque is not the only factor that triggers romantic/sexual interest. You say your friend has the "face of a fallen angle." Facial features are also a big trigger of romantic/sexual feelings. Unfortunately, I don't have the big round eyes that girls are drawn to. They are narrow. I don't know what I can do about that - other than cosmetic surgury - but the idea of blades around my eyes sort of freaks me out.

 

There's also personality. I like intelligent conversation, but I don't care for and I'm not good at the chit-chat that people do in bars.

 

I've done a lot of people watching, and while a charasmatic personality can offset a skinny physique, most women are going to be attracted to the hunk, or a guy with big eyes or otherwise "cute" facial features.

 

There may be some girls that prefer the gangly body type, but I'm convinced they are very rare!

 

I can't just change me personality, and I don't want to have to follow a contrived script as described on the "how to pick up girls" web sites. I want to be myself.

 

So if some pills can help me get the physique that women are initially drawn to, then my chances are better.

 

The frustrating thing is that none of this is relevent for the successful LTR, but unless some initial sexual/romantic intererest can be generated, there's no opportunity for long term.

[scobro]

Fitness and lifting weights is a lifestyle change not a quick fix to getting chicks.It will take time for your body to look more muscular anyway, even if you do steroids chances are anything you gain you will lose once you stop just because you don't have much muscle to begin with.I see guys in clubs that have the "club muscles" big chest and biceps' and really they have no symetry small scrawny chicken legs and under developed back from doing so much bench press.Lift weights to enhance your body over a long period of time not a quick fix to get women.I have dedicated years to lifting weights and I will take my shirt off and get compliments but it was never about getting chicks, sure it helped but I found the chicks that like you for your body are the chicks you want to run the farthest away from.My girlfriend now said she would never have dated me if she didn't know me first through work because she is not into the whole muscle guy thing.Even though it's a stereo type you miss out on certain types of women that are not into the whole big muscles thing. My whole point is do it for yourself not for getting women.

[KnowHowLoveFeels]

Hello!

 

Some very good advice posted here. IWA, I think you should re-read every single post again, and don't try to defend youself the second time around. Try to imbibe what is being said, especially from Walk and B_O; don't be defensive.

 

I have friends who are in your age range who are desperately seeking LTR. So don't feel that you are odd or alone in this. Women in this day and age are more intelligent and independent. We, too, have a "list." Your age range of interest is very, very wide. Women in their 20s are going to be very different from women in their 30's and 40's, in terms of experience, intellect, and what they look for in a man. Those who are in their 30's may have "baggage"... are you ready for that?

 

I tend to find guys who are skinny to be unmasculine and weak. I'd suggest that you go to the gym and work on your body tone and build some (not a lot) of muscle. Just to illustrate a point, I will use myself as an example. (Please don't get offended.) Here goes: I have no problem attracting men. Men are always very nice and attentive to me. I have many male friends. Men want to please me and help me. And I can be aloof and be my spoiled self. I can say mean things, be selfish, and be forgiven for them. What I want to say is, appearance is very important. When you look good, people will be receptive to you, and your personality will matter less. (I don't have a bad personality, but I don't have to be nice all the time.)

Ok, so what I want to say is, you need to take care of your looks, may it be nice clothes, hair, or physique. That's how the real world works. You can be super nice and considerate, but your looks will close the door to many women before you even know it.

 

There are smart and beautiful women, as you acknowledged. But that woman surely knows that she can get a smart and handsome man. Why would she settle?

 

I don't mean to sound harsh. In my experience, the guys who don't have LTRs are not very attractive physically. They seem to think that the right woman will be able to see through their outdated clothes (though, clean) and hair. WRONG!

 

Does this make sense?

[BlahBlahQueen]

I see guys in clubs that have the "club muscles" big chest and biceps' and really they have no symetry small scrawny chicken legs and under developed back from doing so much bench press.

 

Yes, OMG, this is disgusting. Legs are just as important as the upper body but none of the local muscleheads seem to notice or care. What you get is this unattractively huge torso perched on toothpicks, and I'm thinking if they'd done half the exercise to their upper and the other half to their lower, they'd have a smaller but still very shapely torso, and some sexy-ass legs to boot, and then they'd be proportionate and so much hotter...

 

But Scobro, you're too big for me. You look like you could snap a bitch in half. I don't think I could handle all that man! My ex Vince was 5'6" and 120 lbs. I used to pick him up and throw him across the room at house parties to make his friends laugh. What a sweetheart. Bless his soul.