lakeboy1971 Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 I am new to this and I read a few of the posts before I decided to get into this. First of all I was married for 5 years to a great woman and we have had three kids together in addition to one she had from a previous marriage. Our problems started because I work overseas and she has always thought that I cheated on her. I never have but no matter what I say she doesn´t believe me. I have even offered to take a polygraph to prove it but she won´t take me up on it and if I go and do it myself she would think that I paid the guy off. It got to the point that I told a few white lies to her so she wouldn´t think that I was even in a position to cheat on her. STUPID I know and it backfired on me. The only reason I did it was to try and avoid some of the silent treatments that I get when she thinks I have done something. I have told her that I would never lie to her again but she told me that I disrespected her by doing it. I agree with her on that point but I love her so much that I was just trying not to disappoint her. She told me that six very important words are "I admit I made a mistake" and I have admitted it but it does not seem to be enough. What else can I say?? Please Help as I have been thinking about this for four months now and cannot think of anything else to say. Well we have come to the point where we are Seperated but living in the same house for the children. The problem I have with this is it has been he** for me because when I see her all I want to do is hold her. I want her back but she tells me she doesn´t believe me when I tell her I love her and I need a different way to show her. I have racked my brain for a while now and there is nothing I can think of. I need help here too. This woman and my family are the center of my universe and all I ever want. I would write her poems if I had that skill but I am lacking thereand am lost. All I keep hearing is if it were true that I love her then I would know what to say. I DON´T KNOW WHAT TO SAY OR I WOULD HAVE SAID IT ALREADY!! I send flowers and call as much as I can but that doesn´t seem to work. What can I do????
UT_longhorn Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 lakeboy....why would she accuse you of cheating? does she have anything in the past that has made her loose trust in you? Some times, people accuse the other of cheating when they themselves have been cheating. It's some sort of odd phenomena that occurs. i think you should lay off the begging, flowers, and such. tell her that you are sorry about the white lies and you made a mistake, but that she can't punish you forever for that. i think theres more than meets the eye on this one.
Author lakeboy1971 Posted February 21, 2006 Author Posted February 21, 2006 The only reason she has to suspect me is the white lies I have told in the past to try and relieve the tension. She did have a problem with her past marriage, she was married in Spain and her husband had another wife that he kept in the same building. This is where I believe it stems from. When I bring this up it becomes a sore spot. We have tried two councilling sessions but so far no success.
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