ChaseYng2005 Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 My best friend and I are also lovers. It's all gone downhill recently because as some of you may know from my previous posts, he is way too depressed, negative, and energy draining for me. Right now he wants to be alone so we aren't speaking, and he says that he'll call me when he's out of his depressed state. I'm hoping that he's not really depressed and that he just wants to break things off with me, but there is always the chance that he REALLY is depressed simply because he does get that way and he strongly believes his life sucks. I have this feeling in my heart there's only a matter of time before he contacts me saying he's better and misses me. How does one breakup with someone without hurting their feelings and/or sending them into another episode of depression, but at the same time being completely honest and avoiding deception??? I really do love him and he's my best friend that I can't live without, I just don't think I can live with him either.
UT_longhorn Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 ChaseYng, You're in a tough spot. I think the only way you can do it is to tell him honestly how you feel. There's no easy way to break up with anyone. But I do think it would be unfair of you to remain in contact with him, as it would give him hope of reconciliation and prolong his pain.
riobikini Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 CY, It sounds like he knows how to deal with his own depression -apparently, from, maybe, years (?) of experience- so why wait to tell him? If he suffers from depression, he's always going to be in the middle of a cycle, just coming out of one, or heading back into one. Unless he has suicidal depression -uncontrolled, i.e. unmedicated, unsupervised- you could pick any time you choose. And even if he does happen to have suicidal tendencies, same thing would still apply, if you are responsible enough to include at least one reliable friend or relative of his to communicate your action to immediately after the break and who is willing to take up the cross from there, -just scope them out beforehand. Breaking from this kind of relationship where the other partner suffers from depression can keep you in a go-nowhere, sad relationship indefinitely, but there are responsible ways to deal with it. But you already knew all that. (Smile) -Rio
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