smile Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 Ok so many of you have read my post about blowing up at who may possibly be the best guy I have ever been with. He is talking to me now and we send eachother msgs pretty frequently. But I am having some trouble. Since Friday we have been trying to get together and hang out. But between him and I we just never seem to have the time. I guess I feel it's just him because I work for the schools so I have had a 5 day vacation. Anyway he writes cute things and says he is still trying to find time to hang out with me.. but I guess I just feel like maybe I am not even close to being a priority. I am just worried that his idea of me has changed since I blew up at him. He says he isnt mad or anything like that, and I believe him and adore him for feeling that way. It's just we were going slow so he could get to know me better because he doesnt so casual dating.. just relationships. So I worry that he has changed his mind. And the longer it goes without seeing eachother the harder it is for me to have hope you know? We havent seen eachother in 2 weeks.I mean I am not sure I would want to date me after what I said. But he calms me down.. makes me want to stop being irrational and crazy. And I want a relationship with him. He mentioned the new girl at work liked his haircut. And I guess it felt like he got just that much farther from me. I didn't feel jealous I just felt... like I am slowly fading out of the picture. I have never had a crush on a boy like this. Usually the boys chase me (sounds arrogant but I am just accustomed to the boy that takes charge and does the pursuing). Now I want something I am not even sure I can have. And its not needy or codependent. And I dont know how to pursue this. I dont know what to say or how to say it. How to get him to want to make time for me? I just want to see him again. I am clueless when it comes to boys so if he is giving me the brushoff someone tell me. If he is slowly comming around... someone tell me. What does it seem like to an outside person? Because I am too smitten to even see straight.
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 We havent seen eachother in 2 weeks.I mean I am not sure I would want to date me after what I said. But he calms me down.. What did you say? 2 weeks without seeing someone sounds like a brushoff to me. Unless you live far apart?
Author smile Posted February 21, 2006 Author Posted February 21, 2006 Well.. my grandpa had a body scan and there was a tumor found in his lung. I freaked out and this boy and on eof my best friends kinda got in the way of my wrath. First I asked him to hang out and talk and he was busy, really was. And the next day he was still busy but he had asked if I wanted to come over but it wasn't recieved until 1am... so none of these things his fault. Anyway I went ballistic and said to him , and my other friend, that I dont ask for much and they cant be there for me. All I wanted was some time , a hug and I wasnt worth any of that. Kinda just lashed out. He didnt answer (bc he is a rational human being) and he was waiting for me to get over it, but I pushed. I said answer me... tell me i am horrible and you hate me blah blah blah. He answered that he cared about me but couldnt handle this right now. He had a headache and was sick to his stomach.. he said he cared about me and what happened in my life and he wishes I could just know that he wasnt avoiding me or being uncaring, it was just a matter of cirumstance. Soooo for the next 4 days I didnt say anything to him. Thinking he prob didnt want to talk to me. Thinking if he wasnt mad he would talk to me. Apparently he was giving me space bc I had a lot to deal with and he was waiting for me to talk. So that brings us to a week ... two days after I send him an apology msg and leave fruit pies on his car (yes i know) he writes back. He was happy to get the gift and happy to see I was ok. The he ended the message with "I will see you sometime soon" That was friday. Saturday I was busy, sunday I invited him over but he had "obligations" but he was going to come over monday night but then our friend got sick and he had to cover his shift at work. So that brings us to today.. 2 weeks later. Hmmm he keeps saying he will see me soon. Before I said anything about plans or whatever. We joked about forgetting what we look like. Would it be out of line for me to swing by his work just to remind him what I look like? In a goofy kinda remember me kinda way? I dont want to push too hard... I just miss him... still the brushoff ya think? just move on?
ehead Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 You sound like you really like this guy, so I would highly recommend swinging by his work to show him what you look like. Also give him a big, slow hug. After all, what have you got to loose for trying ? You may end up hurt a little bit, but if he is that cool then I think it's worth the risk. I've been really pissed off with my girlfriend before, but when I see her it is impossible to maintain the anger. They say true "love" doesn't develop for years. The initial heated stages of a relationship are largely driven by lust and pheremones. Wear something cute but not too sexy. Give him a big hug then ask him when you can see him again. It's entirely possible just seeing you, feeling you against him, and smelling you will be the deciding factor if he is on the fence right now. Sometimes sensitive guys will feel bruised for a really long time. Just be patient, apologize profusely, and give him tons of compliments. You just need to massage this bruised heart of his a bit. It can grow back strong !
Author smile Posted February 22, 2006 Author Posted February 22, 2006 Well... the last time I visited him at work he kinda got in trouble. I guess they had seen me on the surveilance camera and asked who I was. I know I can go in as a customer and I have every right to be there, I just don't know if it's a good idea. So I sent him a joking msg about the girl who liked his hair. I said oh no flirty girl at work (is the boss's daughter) you are gonna marry her and be part of this crazy business for years. Be part owner and you'll never speak to me again.. then I asked if he could manage to squeeze me in for a visit just one time before the wedding... He wrote back... "she is old and married. and icky" that made me feel better... even tho it doesnt mean anything. if he likes me i guess the hotness of his coworker shouldnt have any bearing on my chances... gggrrr if I could just have some face to face time with the guy , I imagine my wigging out would lessen. I imagine. This is a crazy rollercoaster of emotions. It just seems that as soon as I admitted to myself that I wanted this guy he backed off..He has done this before .. hung out with me 4 days in a row , 2 weeks in a row and then he backs off. He has told me that he isn't entirely comfortable with the fact that he can't control himself around me. He has to touch me and cuddle with me and be as near to me as possible and that makes it hard for him to take it slow. But it has never been this long and never after I screwed up. I may swing by anyway and slip him my number.. in a cheesy hitting on the gas station guy way. I just dont want to seem stalker-ish.
Author smile Posted February 22, 2006 Author Posted February 22, 2006 and when we were joking about me not recognizing him I was like "you have a mole on your nose and a van dyke beard right?" and he said "no i have a mullet and a thinning beard... happy hunting". what does that mean? should I go seek him out ? does it mean nothing? I want to seem interested but not crazy obsessed. Poo this is hard
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