Guest Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 Hi all, I'm in desperate need of some opinions here!, met a girl via a music forum back in oct 2005, she came over to my country (uk) for a 5 week holiday which has just ended. We got on really well and fell for one another, she seems really cut up about going back. 8,000 miles away! She has 3 or 4yrs of uni left. We don't know what to do - ie. just stay friends, try and save ourselves for one another, or just decide it would be too difficult. probably would only be able to see one another once or twice a year...
bluetuesday Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 all relationships have problems. in an LDR, those problems are magnified. you'll miss her, you'll be lonely, you'll feel you may be missing out on things, you'll worry she's meeting other (nearer) guys, you'll get frustrated at being alone, you'll blow silly things out of proprtion because of the pressure of making the tiny amount of time you have together *special*, and however much in love you think you are, what you've had is a five-week holiday romance. you still don't know how you'd feel dealing with her day in day out. by all means keep in touch with her, see her when you can and see how it goes. but don't be unrealistic about the pressure you're bringing on yourself. 8,000 miles is a hell of a long way away. and four years is a long time for neither of you to meet anyone else you're at least curious about. trips overseas a couple of times a year are not cheap either. keep this in mind: there isn't one perfect person out there for you. there are many people who are 'right enough' and whom you could be very happy with. this girl may be one of them, but she isn't the only one. successful relationships don't depend on the 'one true love' theory. they depend on factors such as honesty, compatibility, closeness and common goals. in my experience, two things are crucial to the success of an LDR. one is that you spend as much time as possible with each other in real life. and the second is that you can see an end to how long it's going to be long distance for. i'm sorry, but you probably don't have a very good chance of making this work. my advice would be to find someone closer to home. i wish you luck though. you might be the one in a million who makes it.
Elyssa Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 To the original poster: I survived a three year long LDR relationship. Like you, I was in Europe, and he was in the US. Now we are married and happily together. Don't give up, it's very hard and you will suffer from loneliness, frustration, doubts and many other things... was it worth it? I'd say hell yes! Goodluck.
justagirliegirl Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 LDRs are difficult. If you want to try it, go ahead. If things aren't meant to work out things will end on their own. You or she will meet someone, lose interest, or something like that. There really does have to be an ending point because the back and forth is expensive and being apart is lonely and you may feel like you are in limbo.
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