oss91 Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 She broke up not too long ago with me, slutted around for a couple of months, got hurt, and is now being very guarded. She however says she wants to give it a shot again, as do I. She's being very guarded with me and i respect that she wishes to take things very slowly, and I have made it known that I will let her decide when she is ready. I figure that's what she is ultimately looking for. Of course, she is still getting hit on all the time, especially by this one guy, who seems to not be very observant to the fact she's not at all interested about sex right now. Pretty much all he talks with her about is sex and how much he wants it. Is he just really that clueless? Or is he just trying to get to stay the party girl so he gets a shot with her? A girl says she doesn't even want to think about getting physical with anyone, and you continue talking to her about how much you want her body. Granted, she's a huge flirt and loves the attention she gets, but come on. What does anyone else think?
magda Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 Are you sure she's told him she's not interested in sex? Enough about him though.. it doesn't sound like she's "giving it a shot again" with you if she's flirting with all these guys.
salmagundi Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 Listen, your post was only one paragraph long so I dont want to go jumping to the wrong conclusions about your situation. But in that one paragraph I getthat you were going out, but then she dumped you to go sleep with not just one but several other men. Then she got burned and now you are supposed to care. And the scary thing is you do. From where I sit she is looking to use you as a kind of rebound. I mean honestly, women that are in love with you dont drop you to go sleep around. So ask yourself, does she love you? To come back to you like this, does she even like you all that much? Respect you? I dunno, I think she's looking for a port in a storm and figures you would be safe and dependable. ANd that maybe you would put up with her flirting around until she finds someone else she's really into. I mean, what has she done to make you believe she really REALLY wants to give it a shot in any meaningful sense? I have a good friend here whoès ex came back out of the blue professing how he wanted to try again. What she didnt know was that he had been spending the last month pining away after MY ex only to get shot down, which sent him straight back into the arms of HIS ex. (Of course that didnt work out for him because guess who was in her arms...) so yeah...stay away I say salmagundi
fooled Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 This may be brutal, but I don't think it's out of line. Who's to say she's not still having sex - just not with you. I'm not saying that to hurt your feelings - but to open your eyes. That's how it was the last month of my relationship. She said she was depressed or not feeling well or just needed time. I thought I was being supportive and compasionate. She thanked me for my patience and said she loved me and wanted to be with me the rest of her life. She was screwing 4 other guys.
Guest Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 Thanks for the responses. A little background, if I may. We dated six years, so there's definitely history and chemistry. Or was. Last year I studied in HK, and we took a break. During that time I "cheated" on her, although she admits that we were technically no longer a couple. I know for a fact that she has made it clear to the said guy that sex turns her off right now. I am 100% confident in this knowledge. But it still doesn't really help keep me from wondering what she's up to. Honestly though, I am kind of to the point where I just don't care anymore if it works out. Nevermind, I take that back. I do care. I care about her a lot and she knows this, but I'm not just going to be taken for granted while she walks all over me. She's really giving me mixed signals right now. As the one who broke up and supposedly wants to start things over again, shouldn't she be the one making the most effort? I think so, yet it seems as though I am the one making the most effort, which is why I am keeping my guard up. Who knows. Maybe I'll be able to look back on this and just laugh at the whole situation, but at the same time, regardless of what happens, I know I will learn by it. Life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Guest Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 Thanks for the responses. A little background, if I may. We dated six years, so there's definitely history and chemistry. Or was. Last year I studied in HK, and we took a break. During that time I "cheated" on her, although she admits that we were technically no longer a couple. I know for a fact that she has made it clear to the said guy that sex turns her off right now. I am 100% confident in this knowledge. But it still doesn't really help keep me from wondering what she's up to. Honestly though, I am kind of to the point where I just don't care anymore if it works out. Nevermind, I take that back. I do care. I care about her a lot and she knows this, but I'm not just going to be taken for granted while she trys to walk all over me. She's really giving me mixed signals right now. One minute she's talking about having my children and being together forever (kind of sappy if you ask me), and the next she doesn't even care if we haven't talked in a few days, and just kind of brushes it off as "being busy". Too busy for a 10 minute phone call to say hello? Bull****. As the one who broke up and supposedly wants to start things over again, shouldn't she be the one making the most effort? I think so, yet it seems as though I am the one making the most effort, which is why I am keeping my guard up. Who knows. Maybe I'll be able to look back on this and just laugh at the whole situation, but at the same time, regardless of what happens, I know I will learn by it. Life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
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