E90Kitz721 Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 I have been on NC for about 2 weeks with my ex, I initiated NC 2months after he broke up with me because I realized the friendship thing wasn't healthy for me and was impeding my healing process. When we last talked, I asked him to send me the earrings that I left at his house, he agreed. We didn't really end the conversation on bad terms, but I still haven't gotten my stuff. I would think that he'd send it right away to cut it clean. I also found something of his that I borrowed but he may not remember. Anyone has advice on whether I should break NC to ask him about my stuff, or should I just send him his stuff to throw a hint that he still has my stuff too?
Mary3 Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 Call him and leave a message " John around 2 weeks ago I left my earrings at your house and have not heard back from you. Please call me to arrange a drop off point . I am pretty busy and dont have but a few moments because I want my earrings. Forget about stuff he left and stuff you left after this. End this clean.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 I have repeatedly requested my things back, and have yet to get them. Instead, he played a cruel game with me by leaving a bag full of all the gifts I gave him by my front door - sans my stuff. This from the guy who was all "I don't mean to hurt you....I still love you" when he was breaking up with me on the g0damn phone.
Blue in Texas Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 I would just ask a friend to get your earrings. You can mail his stuff to him. I would stay NC.
jerbear Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 Just mail his stuff back, don't visit, don't leave a note. Have a friend call to pick up the earrings. I would not do this and maintain NC but if you are the self-starting independent type then, mail back his stuff and include a self-addressed stamped envelope for him to send it back. Most guys can figure it out.
Author E90Kitz721 Posted February 20, 2006 Author Posted February 20, 2006 We live 400miles away, so I can't really drop off anything or come up with a meeting point if I want to anyway. If I call him, he may actually pick up the phone and it would be awkward... I don’t want to be mean about it since we did end contact amicably, so an email would be sufficient?
jerbear Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 Call him at a time where you know he might not be there. Leave a message saying you want your earrings back. Since it was amicable email works too. Do be prepared for him to not send it back as in he forgot.
leopardprint Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 If you're on your cell phone calling his cell phone, you can directly go to his voice mail (usually, on Verizon I know you can) and leave a message without ever really having to call him. When I dial into my voice mail, the recording reads off the menu and it gives me all these options (example, the usual, "Press 1 to listen to saved messages", blah blah), and one option is to "Send a Message". When I press whatever number to get into that menu, it asks me to dial the person's number (or "inbox number", which means, their cell phone number). Put in his cell number. There will be a pause and it will go right to his voice mail without ever ringing his cell phone. Then you can leave the message. When you finish leaving it, and hang up, and his cell will get whatever notification it gets when it gets a new voice mail without ever having the phone ring or seeing "Missed Call" or anything like that. He'll probably think he missed your call or it was lost reception and sent you straight to the voice mail or something.
skeptik224 Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 Are the earrings that important to you? Why not just forget about them? It's a monetary thing that can be replaced. As far as that thing you found that you borrowed from him that he may not even know you have...if he doesn't know you have it, he won't miss it. Don't break NC for that. If the earrings have been handed down from generation to generation to generation, don't waste your time.
Author E90Kitz721 Posted February 26, 2006 Author Posted February 26, 2006 The earrings aren't 3gen hand-me-down or anything but they were brand new and I never wore them, plus he also has a book (about working out relationships ironically) that I lent to him that I want to have back. I never used the "send a msg" feature before, it's really neat. Thanks leopardprint. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it yet. I don't think I'm ready to hear back from him in case he does reply. Today I was going down my friends' list on friendster looking for a friend's page when I realized that my ex has deleted me off his list. It probably happened within the last week. I haven't visited his page since NC. I'm just wondering, is he doing it cuz he doesn't care or so he can resist the temptation to visit my page and try to move on; it shouldn't be that hard for him. I know I'm thinking too much into it, but he had his other ex on his list even while we were together, so I don't understand why with me it's different.
gordon_gc Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 Regarding getting stuffs back, I have the same problems but with some shoes. Indeed, She has some of my favorite shoes that I bought when we went on vacation in France and I want them back. In some way, I know that she probably put them in a box or that the new boyfriend is now wearing them (that would upset me a LOT). Any ways, I want them back but dont know how. We broke up 4 months ago. NC for last month, She is with that new guy for last 1 1/2 month. How to get them back without looking cheap and nasty ?
Ariadne Posted February 27, 2006 Posted February 27, 2006 Hey, How to get them back without looking cheap and nasty ? Ask her what time is good for you to pick up your shoes tomorrow. If she suggests another day then that's fine (if it's ok with you). Ariadne
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