MazzyStar Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 Any suggestions from the OW on how to "affair proof" a marriage? The OW sometimes holds the key to what a man lacks at home from his wife. What does he gripe about or say? Here is your chance to help the wife understand what she needs to do. If the wife met all his needs, would he still cheat??
Chump64 Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 There is no way to "affair proof" a marriage. Affairs happen in good marriages, bad marriages, etc. Seventy percent of men engage in infidelity and 50 percent of women. Are they all "unhappy"?
CeeJayXXX Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 My MM had never had an affair until me. There is a huge age difference between us..... Personally, I don't think he was lacking anything at home. He has a wife who is very good to him and cares immensly for him. I think I was the "I can't get her because of the age difference affair"... His grips are every day things.......just the things that would upset anyone in a day...(I actually defend the W quite often for things that upset him). Normally he doesn't speak badly of her. (nor would I tolerate it..really.) Not all affairs are MM completely bashing their wives or lacking something...mine is a close friendship that stemmed a step further (which I think was more curiousity than anything.)...
ahotmess Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 Not all married men are unhappy. In fact many are happy with their situation at home, they just get restless on the road or whatever. I think that trying to maintain the best relationship you can with H is the only to try to discourage it. My MM has a seperate bank account therefor she never saw our bills or bills he may have generated with other OW....maybe that is not such a great idea. Other than that I have no advice.
My_Other_I Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 Any suggestions from the OW on how to "affair proof" a marriage? The OW sometimes holds the key to what a man lacks at home from his wife. What does he gripe about or say? Here is your chance to help the wife understand what she needs to do. If the wife met all his needs, would he still cheat?? Hm, that's a toughie. I was the OW but I would never dare to marry my exMM. So even though I have been on the other side, I wouldn't know my self how to prevent it from happening again with someone else. I could never trust him, knowing how brilliant he was in living two totally different lives for so long. I guess the most important thing would be communication? But I think if he's gonna do it, he's gonna do it no matter what you do.
Guest Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 MM told me that his wife has changed totally since the birth of their second child, which was 10 years ago. He does not want to be a part time father to them and wants to be in the boys' lives while they are growing up and that means living at home, unhappily. He says that he has not broken any laws but he has broken a promise, to love and be true to only one. He says that she is not true to him either but in a different way. She puts everything and every thing before him and does not even have the slightest affection for him. There are no peripheral signs of love such as touching, kissing, talking, or respect. He feels that he made the decision to go elsewhere by giving it alot of thought first. It was intentional and an act of desparation. I don't know if this is the type of information you are looking for, but I thought I would share.
Sami_D Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 Any suggestions from the OW on how to "affair proof" a marriage? The OW sometimes holds the key to what a man lacks at home from his wife. What does he gripe about or say? Here is your chance to help the wife understand what she needs to do. If the wife met all his needs, would he still cheat?? MM doesn't gripe about his wife. He's sad that their relationship has got to the point it is in, and fully accepts his part in that. Having said that, he has told me what is missing from his life... the feeling of being wanted, needed, of being more than someone who brings home a cheque. Emotional closeness, conversation, fun... and sex. All missing for him. If you haven't tried this site, then do: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/
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