LOLA0 Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 My ex is obsessed with my life now. I broke up with him 8 years into our relationship when I found out he had an affair 5 months prior. We have 2 children and never married. I just started dating other men now and my ex keeps asking me if I "****ed" anyone yet etc etc. I was pure when we first got together. It does make me feel good to make him jealous though. But I don't know what to do.. because he's making me think he still has feelings for me and I still love him, but I'm not going to waste my life away with someone who was and might continue to be unfaithful. It's not fair to me. He doesn't love me enough, if he allowed himself to cave into temptation like that. Honestly he wasn't the best father either and my kids enjoy themselves much better without him. If I was going to give him a second chance, I'd want to see his attitude change for the better first and treat me like gold for a year before I let him in again. He treats his kids so GREAT now that he only sees them a few times a week. When we were living together, he couldn't deal with the stress of them and was like a bomb ready to explode. I'm still hurting from what he has done and is there any way to just get rid of these feelings I have for him? Hypnosis? Because letting him back into my life won't be healthy for me or my kids.
whichwayisup Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 If you are going to give him a second chance he has to go to marriage counselling with you. He has to earn your trust again. He has to admit his mistakes, own up to what he did and take FULL responsibility for his actions. Talk to him about this and see how he feels and reacts. Slowly let him in, if that is what you want. If it isn't, then get a divorce, and work out arrangements when it comes to your children. Living in this situation as it is now isn't fair to you, or your kids.
tweldy Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 It sounds like he's a better father infrequently and from a distance. It sounds like you've been doing okay dating. It sounds like everything is better here except that you still harbor feelings for this guy. Is that true?
sylviaguardian Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 but I'm not going to waste my life away with someone who was and might continue to be unfaithful. Honestly he wasn't the best father either and my kids enjoy themselves much better without him. When we were living together, he couldn't deal with the stress of them and was like a bomb ready to explode. Because letting him back into my life won't be healthy for me or my kids. You have answered your own question here. I would guess that you have feelings for him because you are seeing him on his best behaviour only. Aside from the affair, it sounds like he wasn't a great partner before you found out anyway and more importantly, it sounds like he wasn't a good dad. Children should not 'enjoy themselves much better without their dad'. That says it all really. Syl
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