Author fooled Posted February 25, 2006 Author Posted February 25, 2006 I do half expect her to show up. What is probably stopping her is not knowing if I have company at 3AM There's a better chance of her coming over during the day when she thinks I'm home alone. But she'd be sober then - and the urge will have passed.
cal gal Posted February 25, 2006 Posted February 25, 2006 Can do block her number? It seems some people are capable of accomplishing this if they have that feature. If so, you may want to consider it.
Author fooled Posted February 25, 2006 Author Posted February 25, 2006 I forgot that option - certainly may have to put it in effect.
helena abadi Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 interesting point earlier in the thread...that when you break up, a whole lot of other things go with it. favourite places become tainted by memory. things. people. interests. events. all this dancing around to avoid the ex. is there too much energy expended on this? i have been pondering that one for a while anyway. i got pushed around, and was expected to make all the changes. i was too easily pushed and gave him too much power. i'm learning to stand my ground better, now. detachment is a brilliant tool. you have the power to attach and detach meaning. it's about taking your power back.
Author fooled Posted February 26, 2006 Author Posted February 26, 2006 Yes, but it still feels like a game to me - and not actual detachment.
helena abadi Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 you are right, the dancing about IS a game. it shows there is still a lot of emotional connection. if the relationship was profound, it takes a while to disconnect, detach. i struggle with it constantly. one tactic to achieve detachment - give the game less priority, less time, less energy. don't fine tune the tactics. whittle away its importance in your life. gee, that sounds quite good. i will follow my own advice.... maybe it's a matter of time healing the wound. more time = more emotional distance. and what you do with the time that counts.
Ariadne Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 Hey! What's got you amused, Aria? Oh, it's not like you are not wondering enough yourself to give you all those options, just enough to drive you crazy Well, seems like she is not going to give up until she talks to you. What are you afraid of fooled? Ariadne
witabix Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 You attacked me before Ariadne, now you jibe at fooled. You are beginning to annoy me now. If you have nothing to offer this man, leave him alone.
Author fooled Posted February 26, 2006 Author Posted February 26, 2006 Hey! What's got you amused, Aria? Oh, it's not like you are not wondering enough yourself to give you all those options, just enough to drive you crazy Well, seems like she is not going to give up until she talks to you. What are you afraid of fooled? Ariadne I don't know what options you're talking about - perhaps that's why I was confused. I think she will give up before she talks to me. And I'm glad you asked this question - I asked it of myself earlier - if she just shows up - and I'm in the same room with her for the first time in 2 months - what am I afraid of more - the feelings of desire or of the pain she caused. I don't know - it's the fear of the unknown, I suppose.
helena abadi Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 maybe a bit of both? this confusing mix of emotions isn't what's supposed to happen, right?
Author fooled Posted February 26, 2006 Author Posted February 26, 2006 I suppose - I just don't know which one I will be able to defend better. Hopefully the desire.
Ariadne Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 Hi, I don't know what options you're talking about - perhaps that's why I was confused. Ah. what am I afraid of more - the feelings of desire or of the pain she caused. I don't know - it's the fear of the unknown, I suppose. You could keep on hiding from them then. Ariadne
Ariadne Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 now you jibe at fooled Well, I had to go look up in the dictionary what "jibe" was. But now I know Ariadne
Ariadne Posted March 1, 2006 Posted March 1, 2006 Hi, She called last night 5 times between 2 & 3AM. 4 times to my home line and once to my cell. Fooled? Did you get kidnapped? Ariadne
Author fooled Posted March 2, 2006 Author Posted March 2, 2006 I've been trying to ween myself off the boards here - it keeps me thinking about her. Plus I'm working tons this week.
cal gal Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 Aaaaw Fooled, I understand if you choose to move away from the input here - but you will be missed! Good luck to you, I think you seem strong in the past few weeks and I know you will be fine. Check in every now and then and say hello! If you are ever in the southern area of orange county, let me know and we can meet for a cup of coffee during the daytime and take a walk along the beach. You will do fine honey! Best to you... XO
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 I've been trying to ween myself off the boards here - it keeps me thinking about her. Plus I'm working tons this week. :( _______
peegee Posted March 2, 2006 Posted March 2, 2006 Fooled, You are an Inspiration (sp) to us all i wish i had your self controll gonna try to be like you in future situations. peegee
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