backtobasics Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 I have these strong feelings for one of my TA's(teaching assistants in cellege, for those of u who isn't sure about what a 'TA' is). I really need some advice on what I should do. This TA I had last year and through the year I developed some feelings for him, but I didn't really let myself believe that until later on in the year. I guess one of the reason was that I knew he was my TA at the time and that idea just didn't cross my mind. But as the year went on, near the the end of the semester I started to realize how I felt towards that TA. So I tried to go see him more, once or twice at the end of the year to ask questions, to try to talk to him. THat was the most I could do without seeing so awkward since at that time he was still in higher seniority than I am, he was my Ta. Anyways, talked to him once or tiwce...That went alright but then now I am no longer in his class, therefore, I don't get to see him anymore even though the feelings are still there and that also means we are no longer a Ta/student situation but just two students att eh same skool, one an undergrad, and one a graduate. It's been almost a year that I have had these feelings, what do you think I should do? I tried forgetting about those feelings for him but it's no good, I still like him alot. THat's why I found this forum and wanted to ask around if I could some advice from people. Any advice anyone???
jerbear Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 Hot for teacher! Since the TA/student relationship is not there, I would say go for it. Track him down and say hi. go from there. Being undergrads and grad students are somewhat very busy during certain times which is good for both of you. Just goto his office hours and say hi oneday. Other than office hours, have you seen him on campus? See the vibe from him, not your vibe.
Author backtobasics Posted February 19, 2006 Author Posted February 19, 2006 Thanks for the reply Jerbear. Since that TA is no longer a TA anymore, there is no way I COUld find out where he could be and and his office hours, the only contact INfo I have of him is his email but there is no excuse for me to email him. I always hope to bump into him around campus but I never see him. And since he is a grad student it is very hard to find what his schedule is like. I dunno... I always hope that I would bump into him... *sigh* Do you think I should confess my feelings? Maybe not now cuz I dun think I am ready to tell him straight out through email, but one day?...thru email.. like at the end of the semester???? I think that getting a chance to tal to him first and getting to know each other even more would be a better start, but how?... I've tried emailing him not to long ago about some questions and asing for help on some things I know he knows about, but becuase he isn't my TA anymore, I can't ask him all the time, so it was just lik one short email and that was it!
clandestinidad Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 This isnt what you want to hear, but I'm saying it anyway.... I think if he was interested in you he would have kept up the contact. TA or not, if he wanted to date you he would have asked once the semester was over. Unless of course, he's a shy person......and in that case I hope you happen to run into him sometime...b/c if you email or make any moves it could come across as pushy/weird since its been so long that you 2 had any contact.
whichwayisup Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 the only contact INfo I have of him is his email but there is no excuse for me to email him. If you are brave enough, then just email him. You don't need an excuse. Just come right out and tell him that you would love to go to dinner one night and would he be interested in joining you. Plain and simple. If he writes back and gives you an answer, then you know what is what. If he doesn't write back that could mean he is lousy at emails or he isn't interested and can't be bothered to reply back. Just do it. You have nothing to lose. Plus, you don't want to waste time on someone who may not be into you, right? SO go for it!!!!
Tony T Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 People who are in graduate school, particularly certain disciplines, don't have a lot of time to socialize. It could very well be that he would be interested...he just doesn't have a lot of time right now. Email him and ask him to lunch...or just for coffee on campus. Let him name the time and place. Then go from there. It could be that you will have to settle for a less than perfect relationship with this guy until he has completed his studies. Graduate students, by nature, are very dedicated to their scholastic undertakings. Don't take that personally. You will win his heart if you express your understanding of the challenges he faces. You could be the very lady he will be looking for once his attention has turned from getting his advanced degree.
jerbear Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 I would say send him an email asking for lunch or dinner; to see his vibe during that time. Be prepared that his TA persona and real life maybe two different things. Also being a graduate student is not easy. Different than undergrad. I'm a grad student and it is no joke when it comes to missing a class. Send him an email and see if he replies. I wouldn't say anything like "I have feelings or want you" type of lines just yet. At least wait till after lunch...
Recommended Posts