TexG Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 So the story goes...I dated a girl from work. We got fairly serious for a sort period of time but we both did some things wrong and drifted appart. We never talked about what was going on between us and now are paying for it in the end. Any way, she recently started dating someone else and got very involved extremely quickly. Up until this point we'd both kind of ingnored what had happened between us but things got weird pretty quick. I finally broke down and met with her and told her a lot of the things I should have said months before but never could. She did the same. At some point she we both realized that we were and still are in love with each other but she seems to have fallen pretty hard for this new guy and part of her nature is that she's affraid to hurt anyone - me or him. We work rather closely together and no contact is impossible at this point. We tried all we could to avoid each other and it lasted about 2 days before we both caved. I really want to leave her alone and let her make a decision that will leave her happy but as a friend that know her nature and her personality I don't think I'd be a good friend to just leave her as I think even if she were unhappy with this new guy she wouldn't have the strength to do anything about it. I know a big part of the problem is I still have hope that she'll come back to me but that's something I really won't let go as long as she keeps giving me hope. I know there are some seriously mental issues here for both of us and I'm having a hell of a time coping with some of it. In the past few weeks I've lost over 10 pounds (which is rough for someone who was only 145 to start with) and it's truly begun to affect my every day activities both at and away from work. How do I even begin to try to get over her knowing how we both still feel and when I have to see her at work every single day? No contact is the rule...but that's not an option here.
Groovy Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 You are right, you have no choice. You either need to deal with it or give up your job! You know which one is the logical choice! I'm going through something similar and I hate it. My ex of just yesterday( ) is friends with a lot of people I spend time with every week and he is involved in a lot of activities neither one of us wants to lose out on. No contact helps but it is not essential to be healed. You just have a little more of a challenge. I dated a co-worker and it was one of the best relationships I ever had. The good part is there is no running away when things get rough, as a friend or lovers. I'm sure eventually you two will discuss whatever needs to be addressed to move on in your lives. I dated my co-worker for a year and we are still friends. We each have our own life. I'm sure you will get there, just give it time.
Author TexG Posted February 20, 2006 Author Posted February 20, 2006 Yeah...I've come close to asking for a transfer but I doubt I can do that right now with my position...and leaving the company is not an option for me right now. I guess the hardest part is that I went to her place that night to just tell her everything I had not been able to say previously but at the same time she did the same. When I was seeing her and was sure I was in love with her I got the feeling that she could care less. As it turns out she felt the exact same way about me but we just didn't have the communication in the relationship to get our true feelings out. Knowing how we both feel and knowing we can't be together, at least right now, is what makes it hard to face her at work every day. I guess my biggest goal is to earn her trust back as a friend first without getting involved in her current situation even though I know if I wanted to I could break them up. She has admittedly said that she still can't quite trust me and that is keeping her away. I guess it doesn't help that having only lived her a short period of time she is one of the only people in my life I can talk to about this...and she's the one person I shouldn't talk to. Oh, and just to make it even more interested for the readers, not only is she a coworker but also the daughter of my boss. How's that for a flat tire on the old career path?
Groovy Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 Just do what's best for you. Sometimes being friends after can be a great help, other times it is a horrible existence.
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