MusicWoman Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 Has anyone here been in, or in, a situation where you are engaged or married when your SO's parents really hate you? May it be for good reason, or completly rediculous. What do you do in this situation, and when kid's and overbearing in laws are involved how do cope?
Sassy Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 I have the inlaws from hell! They always butting in my buisness with my s/o . I stay away as much as possible the less i have to see them the better it is.
nicolette Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 I am very concerned about the same thing....What do you do? My future mother-in-law is very sweet...but the father is horrific! When he walks into our house, he just starts talking to my bf, doesn't even say hi to me unless I say hi first! He has even hit his wife before, so I will never look at him as a respectable man! Very shovanistic also! Believes the woman should do the cooking, cleaning, etc. Still calls women "broads!" When I have asked this question b4, everyone always mentions that when you marry someone, you marry the family also. You have to decide if you can put up with it the rest of your life. If you are already married, just grit your teeth! When they come over, the only thing that gets me through it is knowing that they'll leave in about 2 hours!
Moose Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 When I have asked this question b4, everyone always mentions that when you marry someone, you marry the family also. You have to decide if you can put up with it the rest of your life.This is a crock!! When you marry, you're leaving your home, and family to make your own. The in-laws shouldn't have any bearing, or ANYTHING to do with the new home. Put your foot down, let your feelings be known......"your dad is very disrespectful to women, and he needs to keep his mouth shut while in our home"...... If your husband's father can't respect your wishes, he doesn't need to come over. And if your husband doesn't back you, then he'll need some work as well....
carmaenforcer Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 This is a crock!! When you marry, you're leaving your home, and family to make your own. The in-laws shouldn't have any bearing, or ANYTHING to do with the new home. Put your foot down, let your feelings be known......"your dad is very disrespectful to women, and he needs to keep his mouth shut while in our home"...... If your husband's father can't respect your wishes, he doesn't need to come over. And if your husband doesn't back you, then he'll need some work as well.... Preech brother. preech! I completely agree wtih Moose... My in-laws (my W's Mom and Grandma) have/had issue with me as well, but my Wife fights/faught my cause as if it were her own. Nice!!! I love my Wife so much... I would and have done the same for her, that's what makes us a couple and not singles after all. Tell your husband how you feel and ask him to back you up on this. I know, you shouldn't have too, but remember this is his Dad, respect, fear, all that.
Curmudgeon Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 My wife and I married almost 10 years ago at ages 48 and 50, respectively. My parents both died many years before and my wife's father died two years before we married. That just leave her mother who hated me right from the start, as did my wife's oldest daughter who was 22 at the time. MIL hates me because she's narcissistic and I took time away from her where my wife is concerned. My wife had been divorced and single for 18 years so she'd spent a fair amount of time with her mother, even though she doesn't particularly care for her. She did it mostly for her father, knowing that's what he would have wanted. However, MIL became so nasty that we both disengaged from her and have done so for years. As for SD, she hates me because I'm not her father. Even though he and my wife had been divorced so long and he was a doping, drinking loser, SD didn't believe her mother belonged with any other man and had fantasies of them getting back together. Therefore, she hated me for "stepping into her father's shoes." It was made even worse when he died a year and a half later (alcohol seizures and overdose) after trying to re-engage my wife which I put a quick end to. I disengaged from SD as well.
carmaenforcer Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 Yikes Curmudgeon! I like hearing about couple that get together at an older age, in their 30's, 40's and 50's, and still have relationship problems. Goes to show that, it never ends. Just because you get together with someone more your age (not too much age gap) doesn't mean there will be no problems or even less problems. Every different kind of relationship comes with it's own set of issues to deal with and overcome. That's the good thing about in-laws, they are older and will not be in the picture for long.
Author MusicWoman Posted February 23, 2006 Author Posted February 23, 2006 That's the good thing about in-laws, they are older and will not be in the picture for long. Ouch, well thats kinda...hhmmm... Anyways, I'm glad to hear theres some way of coping. I had a talk about this with my fiance and he said 'of course i'll back you!'...because we already KNOW what his mom is gonna do....shes gonna flip out. There is no reasoning with her, she told him that I am going to infect him with AIDS because theres a study (theres always studies) that 99% of people with tongue rings get it. I mean, she also acts like a jealous girlfriend...its rediculous. I told him that if we stay in the same state that we have to live AT LEAST an hour away:laugh:
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