Bballswingr Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 Is there any recovering from being "too nice" at first i was goin good but then i realized i really liked this girl and i started being too nice and i feel i definetly lost some interest. However i still feel she likes me, i just need a save. How can i recover from this?
konfuzd Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 Did she tell you that you're being 'too nice', or is this something that you've just noticed yourself? Don't go and change in order to impress her. If you've noticed that your behavior has changed once you realized you were into her, just go back to being yourself. Don't put on an act, especially going in the opposite direction as you were, otherwise she'll see through you, and know that you're playing games with her. "nice guys" don't finish last.... it's the boring, socially inept ones who do!
Author Bballswingr Posted February 18, 2006 Author Posted February 18, 2006 She didnt tell me, i just have a feeling, although it could be that there is something between us and she just got more shy. And i wasnt trying to change myself or put on an act, its just that i was flirting and teasing good at first and now im always complimenting her and agreeing with her without even thinking
Guest Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 If she really does like you, I dont think you being nice to her will make her feelings for you change overnight. How do you know she actually likes you though, have you two ever been out on a date or do you just talk to her when you see her?
monkey00 Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 now im always complimenting her and agreeing with her without even thinking sorry you sound whipped, are you looking for her validation or seomthing? ill tell you a fact, girls like it when a guy can disagree with them, ane even give their own opinion on the matter. It shows he has a mind of his own.
CaliGuy Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Andrew Glover.
amerikajin Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 Women don't want a**h***s; they want a nice guy who can be an a**h*** when he has to be - even if it means being an a**h*** to them. A lesson I'm trying to learn is to go into each relationship objectively. A lot of guys make the mistake of being nice to a woman in hopes that they can raise their interest level while ignoring their own true level of interest in and compatibility with the woman they're seeing. Instead they should do the opposite: they should judge the woman using the same standard they'd use to judge anyone else. Women with a healthy self-esteem can detect insecurity and they can detect people who are not being true to themselves, and it drives them nuts. They're thinking 'Great, this is the guy who's gonna flip out if he sees me talking to another guy,' or 'Oh man, this is the guy who's gonna ask my permission for s*** all the time,' or 'He'll never want to do his own thing, and he'll be clingy and threaten suicide if I try to break up with him,'...and they're thinking, let's stop this before it starts.
jerbear Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 Women with a healthy self-esteem can detect insecurity and they can detect people who are not being true to themselves, and it drives them nuts. They're thinking 'Great, this is the guy who's gonna flip out if he sees me talking to another guy,' or 'Oh man, this is the guy who's gonna ask my permission for s*** all the time,' or 'He'll never want to do his own thing, and he'll be clingy and threaten suicide if I try to break up with him,'...and they're thinking, let's stop this before it starts. From other threads, some get put into the: .....friends zone..... the black hole that many do not get out...
Author Bballswingr Posted February 19, 2006 Author Posted February 19, 2006 thanks for the input, i especially like amerikajins post I'm not going out with her, so i dont think i can be whipped yet can i? And Im not goin to see her for a week (winter break) so when i go back im goin to try and reverse my spiral towards "friends zone"
amerikajin Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 Some call it 'framing', but I call it having standards. With women I have an interest in but not an incredible interest in, I usually ask myself 'Do I like her personality? Are we compatible? And most importantly, Is she showing me respect and is she making an effort to be with me? But a lot of guys will let women slide on that last one (I've done that myself). Beautiful women are so used to being chased that they get lazy sometimes, and they almost expect men to chase them. Don't approach it as a game, just remember to apply your standards. If you think that a woman should email you after you email her, don't complain about it if she doesn't; just forget her - she's not meeting your standards. And don't budge. Once you do that, you will lose her respect, and she'll know she's got you, which could kill any future chances you might have. Most of the time, a woman must respect you before she can love you.
Guest Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 Amerikajin you said it right a woman must respect you before she can love. I learned this the hard way by trying to be "nice" to earn a woman's love and then respect. I got it backwards get her respect first and if love follows it follows.
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