agnf666 Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 I know there are a few threads about this... but they aren't mine so I started my own... Okay... So, I have been talking to this guy that messaged me on myspace... Let's say we started talking in the beginning of Febuary. We have been talking just about everyday for a almost 2 weeks... I plan on meeting him in the beginning of march... Now this guy actually started talking to me in August... but I blow him off becuase I was interesting in something else that never happened. So, then out of the blue he messages me the other week... We started talking and that has been going pretty well... I was just surprised at the fact that he tried agian to talk to me... I asked him why he decided to talk to me agian after I was a bitch to him... He just said he didn't know... This guy is alot different then the other guys I have dated... This one is more affectionate... I like that alot... Plus he doesn't smoke and do other things...In which, is good because I started smoking heavliy thanks to my ex... So, I think he will be good for me... So, for those who have dated people online... How long did you wait to met them??? Where did you met this person???
Outcast Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 So far you only know what he says about himself. It may or may not be true. Some people are completely honest online. Others lie like dirty rugs. So you meet the person in a public place. You don't go to his hotel room or home and you don't invite him to yours. You tell people that you're meeting the guy and where and when and maybe even have a friend there in the background someplace. When you meet, you pay acute attention to your instincts and if the tiniest red flag starts to wave, listen to it. Hopefully you've been able to Google him and have found that what he says is true of himself. If he says he works for X company, look it up - he might even be mentioned on their site. The more about his life he's told you (people he knows, school/work, etc), the more he's given you to be able to track him down if he's a bad sort so IMHO the more genuine info someone from online gives you, the likelier it is that he's been honest with you.
Author agnf666 Posted February 18, 2006 Author Posted February 18, 2006 Well... I have tried to google him.. but nothing came up at all... He works at a big chain store... I know exactly were that is... So, I can go there and scope him out before I really go met him... He has told me alot about his friends and stuff like that... I plan on telling my friend about me meeting him and have her be in the nieghborhood when this is going down just incase I need to get away from him. So, what if we go out... and hit it off well... How long do you wait until you invite this person to your house and stuff like that?
whichwayisup Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 I think you wait until you meet him, then worry about the rest later. See if you two click face to face. I wouldn't invite him to your house until YOU feel very comfy with him and know abit more about him. Just like any other regular date. Only difference is you've met him online instead of at a bar. You've talked to him online instead of doing that weird chitchat stuff face to face right off the bat. I highly doubt there is anything wrong with him, but be cautious and aware of everything (and mind your drink! Don't leave it unattended...) until you can trust him.
Author agnf666 Posted February 18, 2006 Author Posted February 18, 2006 Thanks you guys for the advice...I think it should be all good... He respects the fact that I'm not ready to meet him yet... Then I decided that there is going to be the point were it is going to be now or never... I should just met him to see if it would work... So, I'm not like wasting my time with it... I don't think I am but I have thought about that...
D-Dan Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 I'm a guy who has just discovered online dating, and I have met three of the women I contacted. I would concur with everything that has been said, and add an extra. Don't build up your expectations. Before meeting the three I have gone to great lengths to ensure that they are comfortable with where we went, I've reminded them to tell someone at least where they will be, until when etc. Talking to the women, it seems that I'm in a minority, There are a lot of freaks and weirdos out there. Since you have had prior contact with this guy, it's unlikely that he's one of them, but you should follow the common sense rules anyway. And don't assume he is who he says he is. Safety first should be uppermost in your mind. Once you meet, the rest is exactly the same as it would be following any other date you've been on. Don't do anything differently, trust your instincts, and take things slowly to start with. Get to know him, and trust him. Don't do anything that will put your safety at risk. And all being well, have fun. That's important too.
Vertex Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 I met my girlfriend online. We were on opposite coasts but we decided that I could go visit her and see some colleges before school began (12th grade). I flew over to her and met her literally in the airport. Every night I spent there was in her bed with her and we ended up moving "a base a day"... story made short, it went extremely well and we connected like no other. This was like a year and a half ago and we are still together (although now obviously closer - an hour away due to colleges, but we had to spend the majority of senior year on opposite coasts with the occasional visit once every 3-4 months or so). It's a very hit or miss thing. You learn a lot about someone online before meeting them. You get to understand their humor and general views/habits/etc, but realize that the real person will be different since you have a certain idea in your head that will most likely be inaccurate to some extent. However, it does not mean the real thing is necessarily worse. Just have fun with it and see where it takes you.
Author agnf666 Posted February 19, 2006 Author Posted February 19, 2006 I just told my parents that I was going to met someone from the internet... They weren't thrilled about the idea but they don't care.... They just want to make sure I do it in a safe public place... I'm actually looking forward to meeting him... The both of us could be a little different then we seem on the phone and online... So, I will see where it takes me when I meet him and best believe I will let all of you know how that goes... You guys helped me through my last few guy things.... This one is going to be another one...
Bellona Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 Hey there, You replied in my thread, so I'll reciprocate. I actually met that guy online. I was dating 4 guys at the same time, and he had gone out with one or two girls. We met within 2 weeks of talking to each other via e-mail and then on the phone. From that point on, we talked on the phone almost everyday and went on more dates. This went on for a month. After that, he initiated exclusivity. It never hurts to meet and see what can happen, as long as you meet in public places until trust is built. If nothing happens, then it's better than talking to someone for months....anticipation building.....then it's a dud.
geist Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 So, for those who have dated people online... How long did you wait to met them??? Where did you met this person??? What are you doing? Take the time and effort to meet people in the real world. It isn't so hard. I can't cite the article, but I read recently that only three per-cent of people using online dating services ever experience any positive results. Don't you think it a bit odd to be searching for a worthy partner on the internet? I sure do. Online dating seems like a silly fad. I can't imagine actually thinking that I could meet someone worth my time via the internet.
Bellona Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 What are you doing? Take the time and effort to meet people in the real world. It isn't so hard. I can't cite the article, but I read recently that only three per-cent of people using online dating services ever experience any positive results. Don't you think it a bit odd to be searching for a worthy partner on the internet? I sure do. Online dating seems like a silly fad. I can't imagine actually thinking that I could meet someone worth my time via the internet. It's just a different medium for meeting people. I have been dating a guy I met on a dating site for the past 3.5 months. We're both young professionals, have similar interests, and are values are aligned. We got to know each other with some correspondence, went on some dates, and became exclusive a little over a month later. Knowing what we're looking for / interests upfront is a plus of meeting someone online through a dating service. My last relationship lasted about a year and ended because he was moving to attend graduate school. We met online via MySpace, but we graduated from the same university and I had met him a few times back then. We got to know each other through the site, had similar interests, hot attraction, and it worked until circumstances kicked in and we both had to make decisions about our careers. We both ended up moving, but we keep in touch. It's not for everyone, but I know a few people who have married someone they met online.
Mary3 Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 You really dont know how affectionate he is.....how he smells....how clean he is....if he smokes crack or smokes at all ...or uses drugs. ( I know that was extreme but really you only know what HE told you....) People can be one way and total opposite on the other. I only ask that you not have high expectations and if you are pleasantly surprised then that works in your favor. If it does not work out well , you can shrug it off. There are successful online meets. We have all had them. We have probrobly all had bad stories to tell too.... I hope it does work out for you both but have you ever did this before ? Met someone from the internet ?
Author agnf666 Posted February 21, 2006 Author Posted February 21, 2006 I have never met anyone from the internet before... My friend has... She has been dating this guy for a year and she met him from myspace. So, I know there are good and bad stories from this... So, Who knows what might happen... When is a good time to go out? During the day or night time? I'm going to try it... What do I have to lose... If it goes really bad then I find me another person...
ehead Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 I have met 2 girls in my brief stint at online dating. The first girl was a disaster. The second girl I met is my girlfriend of 5 months and I am totally in love with her. So, don't get your hopes up, but also don't forget that sometimes it really can work.
Author agnf666 Posted February 21, 2006 Author Posted February 21, 2006 I don't have my hopes up because it can turn out to be a disaster as well... I don't know... I guess we will find out... I plan on meeting him next week. I will totally have to fill you guys in on this...
curiousnycgirl Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 You have gotten some outstanding advice here, and there is very little I can add. Except you did ask how long one waits to meet - so I'll answer that. I posted a profile on several introduction sites about 3.5 years ago. At first I was like you - reluctant to meet too soon, wanting to get comfortable first, etc. After a while I realized that there is no way to genuinely get to know someone online and any comfort I may have felt was false. In fact it often created false expectations and I built these people up in my mind. Generally I cut off online contact after 3 emails or a week or two of messaging if there has been no mention of meeting real time. I found this worked best for me. Now despite the fact that I accelerated meeting - I never changed my requirement that we meet somewhere public, open and quiet (so if I screamed I would be heard - lol) generally a Starbucks. I met my b/f online roughly 20 months ago - and so far it's been fairly great - yes we've had our ups and downs - but overall it's good. I think online introduction services are a great medium. I was never into the bar hook up thing and there were never many other options for me. Let us know how it turns out!
Author agnf666 Posted May 9, 2006 Author Posted May 9, 2006 Let me update you all on this subject... Shortly after I posted this thread that guy decided that he didn't want to talk to me becuase I was a virgin. How do you like that.... I have found a few men online that are only after a piece of the ass... Annoying sometimes. I actually got the balls and meet someone from the internet yesterday. I have to say it turned out rather well. I took a friend with me. She was with us for the most part then she left and we hung out for a little while and then I went home. We met in a very public place. It was nice and he even told me today he had a great time yesterday. So, I can say that it was a very good expierence. So, I would advise anyone that plans on doing online dating. Atleast take a friend with you the first time. That always helps.
ronnieromance Posted May 15, 2006 Posted May 15, 2006 It's great that technology allows us to use the web to date, is'nt it?
Mary3 Posted May 15, 2006 Posted May 15, 2006 Let me update you all on this subject... Shortly after I posted this thread that guy decided that he didn't want to talk to me becuase I was a virgin. How do you like that.... I have found a few men online that are only after a piece of the ass... Annoying sometimes. I actually got the balls and meet someone from the internet yesterday. I have to say it turned out rather well. I took a friend with me. She was with us for the most part then she left and we hung out for a little while and then I went home. We met in a very public place. It was nice and he even told me today he had a great time yesterday. So, I can say that it was a very good expierence. So, I would advise anyone that plans on doing online dating. Atleast take a friend with you the first time. That always helps. Its is my online experience that leads me to believe about 98.9 % are looking for a piece of a**. Sex is awesome but most of us want more than just the hit and runs. Even those who post looking for a relationship , rare few do really mean that when while talking on the phone they ask you how large are your breasts ? .....
prfrogkisser Posted May 15, 2006 Posted May 15, 2006 So, for those who have dated people online... How long did you wait to met them??? Where did you met this person??? Ive been doing to online dating for a few years so Ill give my input. In order to meet a guy in person I dont have a set time. For me it all depends on how i feel towards the conversations online... then after a few weeks or months I decide to go into phone conversations.I give them my cell phone never my home number. Then after i feel comfortable we decide to meet in a public place. I have to add that i always have someone call me during the meeting to verify if I am ok. I provide my friend ahead of time with all the meeting information(day,time,location and who will i meet).This has worked wonders for me as a safety precaution.When the guy asks i tell him my friends are checking up on me:D This also helps me bail out if the guy turns out to be a creep. Only by meeting face to face you can make a assestment of a person. If he makes you uncomfortable thats a sign that you need to cut the date short. Make the date on a weekday so you can leave early then you wont be stuck in a bad situation. If he really enjoys your company then you set a date on a weekend so you can spend more time together. Good Luck:cool:
ronnieromance Posted May 15, 2006 Posted May 15, 2006 So, for those who have dated people online... How long did you wait to met them??? Where did you met this person??? I meet most of the women I date in the chatrooms on webdate. I don't have a hard-and-fast rule about when to meet who...I just kind of let it happen. It's usually around a week though. Really, you can't tell anything until you meet a person. It's the nuances like the voice or the way people pronounce things that we ultimately fall for...So look at a meeting with excitement! -R-
Alexandra Posted May 15, 2006 Posted May 15, 2006 I can't cite the article, but I read recently that only three per-cent of people using online dating services ever experience any positive results. Well if you happen to stumble upon that any time soon do let us know, I'd be most surprised to say the least. Agnf666 - I'm sure you'll do great and enjoy it. Indeed huge expectations are always a risk so going for the "we'll just see how it goes" approach seems to work wonders. There are no hard rules for when it's best to meet them or where, it does all depend on the person and how adventurous or careful they usually are, I was of the "daylight, casual, friend-calling, public place" mind but then again I ended up marrying the one I "met" in person for the first time in a crowded European airport late in the evening so I'm not a fan of my own rule.
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